Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

PHIL: Trust is an essential part of good relationships. The first thing I want to say about trusting someone is that it is not what they say, it is what they do. What they say about themselves or how they … The Secret to Deep, Peaceful Relationships is Quiet but Powerful Trust Read More »

PHIL: You talked at lunch about two friends who spend much of their day in each other’s company doing activities together, and I said that is not us; we have a different balance, though I suspect it’s not totally equal, … What’s in the Cards for Your Relationship? Read More »

PHIL: In this culture, there is a strong focus on the individual. It is your responsibility to take care of yourself, to stay alive, to plan for the future. And yet, we are not a solitary species; we are a … How Relationships and Community Fulfill the Same Need for Connection Read More »

To pay attention, this is our endless and proper work. Mary Oliver PHIL: I’ve been meditating recently and have discovered that when I consciously sit still, it works much better. I’m not talking about making an effort to keep my … Why Stillness and Attention are at the Core of Peaceful Relationships Read More »

MAUDE: I experienced a close friend engaging in the blame game this last week, and it was such a strong experience that it made me want to write about it here. My friend seemed to be walking around drowning in … How to Stop Playing the Blame Game and Actually Feel Peaceful Read More »

PHIL: Besides writing with Maude, I also write independently on Substack. Maude is away on a trip for a few weeks, so I want to describe some ideas of mine and explain how they apply to relationships. I’ve been thinking … How the Play Between Words and Feelings Affects Your Relationships Read More »

MAUDE: Phil is always saying that “we are a social species, and connection is a deep need we all have.” One of the ways that we achieve this in our various relationships is by sharing our experiences. This generally happens … The Pleasures and Importance of Shared Experience in Your Relationships Read More »

MAUDE: Last night, as we were talking about what we want to write a post about, a way of being present came up, and here we are with the post that grew out of that conversation. After an evening jamming … Are You Emotionally Present in Your Relationships or Just Not There? Read More »

MAUDE: I’m going to give you an update on the birthday plans I shared in July of 2025. You might be wondering what that has to do with peaceful relationships. Well, my experiences around this have given me lots of … How Radical Non-Interference Makes Our Relationship Feel So Peaceful Read More »

MAUDE: The road toward peace within all your relationships begins with your intention to have this experience. It comes from a strong attraction to it that starts to replace old habits of interaction. Often, we develop this intent without knowing … How to Apply Your Intention Toward Peace in All Your Relationships Read More »

MAUDE: Phil and I were sharing our reactions to an event in the neighborhood that we have both experienced. We wound up discussing differences and how we handle and react to them. It seems both of us have developed ways … The Boombox Guy Taught Us a Secret To Peace In Relationships Read More »

PHIL: In any relationship, there are expectations. I expect a sense of fairness, a recognition that there are two people involved. Early on, Maude and I spent several days exploring what our wedding vows would be and coming to agreement. … Your Relationship Expectations Make You Miss What’s Happening Read More »

MAUDE: Last night Phil and I were sitting together, and we started talking about how each of us was feeling. The conversation wasn’t about anything big or life-changing. It turned out that neither of us was feeling really right, but … Why Communicating Strengthens the Connection in Your Relationships Read More »

Phil and I were talking about how to get some balance between the daily barrage of distressing information and the peaceful interactions and way of responding to our daily lives that we practice. And as strange as it may seem, … Play is How to Add Peace Within Your Relationships Read More »

MAUDE: The word respect has been resounding in my head at various points during this week. It’s one of those juicy words that we all attach different meanings to. Yet, it is also a very basic element of peace within … How To Respect Each Other’s Separateness While Being Together Read More »

PHIL: When you’re making plans or looking for solutions, how do you come to agreement? You need to find something that works for you and works for the other person, too, or maybe even people, because this is something that … The Secret to Agreement is Creating Something Neither of You Imagined Read More »

MAUDE: Phil and I just got back from a little overnight celebration of our first meeting. We took some time to just be with each other, share our love of nature, and concentrate on each other. Mainly, we were just … Give Your Relationships the Time They Deserve Read More »

PHIL: What we are trying to do in these posts is to describe how we are in as much detail as possible so that you, dear readers, can share our experience of living in peace. We have said before that … Why Being in Continuous Connection is Vital for Peaceful Relationships Read More »

MAUDE: I had a conversation with my friend Dale the other day that I found very inspiring. She told me of an event she experienced while walking near her home. She encountered a group of women from the block standing … The One Simple Switch That Transforms Every Relationship You Have Read More »

PHIL: One of our realizations has been that we are always on the same side. This is a big factor in how we have a peaceful relationship. It’s easy for us to say that and expect people to go, “Oh, … The Secret to a Peaceful Relationship is Realizing You’re on the Same Side Read More »

PHIL: For several reasons, we didn’t have sex for a couple of months, and when we did start moving in that direction, I was very confused because I had never been in a relationship that started with friendship; I had … Why Being Friends is Such an Important Part of Your Relationships Read More »

MAUDE: The world seems filled with darkness these days, and yet, the light shines brighter through our very real connections to each other. It radiates forth and has greater strength than any transitory, no matter how horrible, aberrations. Phil and … The We That Exists With the Separate Self Read More »

PHIL: Last week, Maude wrote, “I had a partner once who was very there when he was there, but also often totally not available or present,” and when I asked her about this, she said it created an edginess in … Why Constancy of Connection is Important in Your Relationships Read More »

Hi there, Phil and Maude here. Wishing you a happy New Year and peace within your relationships in 2026. MAUDE: The other day, I was talking to one of my longest known and dearest friends, and she said to me … Why is an Inner Sense of Safety Vital to Peaceful Relationships? Read More »

Hi there, Phil and Maude here. You may notice that we haven’t done a holiday post here. Since we write about peace all year round, and that is what we hope for, we will just say: Have a wonderful holiday … The Secret to Peaceful Relationships is Cooperative Interaction Read More »