Pessimism & Poptarts

How does a family process decades of systemic chaos? Through the time-honored tradition of finding dark humor in absolutely everything . The final installment of the 5-part series takes Joshua on a wild ride through his mom and aunt's school memories, proving that the classroom was often just as unhinged as the family lore . They explore the absolute whiplash of their educational upbringing, featu...

What is it like growing up with stories about a grandfather who was a notorious addict, only to see him as a sober, garage-tinkering old man ? Sophia's son Joshua gets a front-row seat to the family history in this raw, dark-humored Q&A . Sandra and Sophia share the unbelievable survival details of living with an active user: dodging tinted-window minivans , tracking down a missing parent with...

The bombshell Part 3 of the MDOC series reveals the raw, unfiltered truth behind a family tragedy. Sophia and Sandra dive into the second prison stint, the protective motive that led to a high-speed chase, and the devastating accident involving an Amish buggy. It’s a story of 'attempted justice' gone wrong, the reality of being a 'Van Dyke' in a small town, and the eventual escape to the shadows o...

From testosterone earrings to the 'ax-wielding' inmates of the Upper Peninsula, the second installment of the MDOC series takes a turn into the surreal. Sophia and Sandra recount the details of their father’s second prison stint, the bizarrely 'relaxed' environment of a camp on the shores of Lake Superior, and the time-honored family tradition of being banned from a local Pizza Hut. It’s a deep di...

After a wild hiatus, the sisters of Pessimism and Pop-Tarts are back for a heavy-hitting, five-part deep dive into the Michigan Department of Corrections. In Part 1, Sophia and Sandra navigate the surreal reality of childhood visits to Jackson Prison, from the irony of finding 'illegal' family heirlooms to the gourmet experience of microwave prison burgers. It’s a story about family, grief, and th...

Hey Everyone We Are Back!!! Well very soon, we are recording this upcoming weekend and will be adding new features and co-hosts so does that not sound like fun? I am so excited to talk to you all again! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this non-award-winning show, Sandra & I are joined by special guest Colleen! My only friend, which feels kinda sad now that I am typing in this description.... Welcome to the episode where Sophia's bestie, Colleen, makes her unforgettable debut and proves she fits right in with the chaos. Also, Sophia's son Josh returns to question his mother's life choices in real time. Get ready for a com...

**TRIGGER WARNING: This episode and series contain detailed discussions of domestic violence, abuse, and death. Listener discretion is strongly advised.** If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, help is available. National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 Text Line: Text START to 88788 To Donate: In honor of Christina, we strongly encourage you to support the Nationa...

**TRIGGER WARNING: This episode and series contain detailed discussions of domestic violence and abuse. Listener discretion is strongly advised.** If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, help is available. National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 Text Line: Text START to 88788 To Donate: We strongly encourage you to support the National Coalition Against Domestic Vi...

**TRIGGER WARNING: This episode and series contain detailed discussions of domestic violence and abuse. Listener discretion is strongly advised.** If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, help is available. National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 Text Line: Text START to 88788 To Donate: Please consider supporting the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NC...

You heard Ryan's hazy, drug-fueled account of seeing Gwar and The Misfits at Harpo's on Devil's Night. Now, get the real story from someone who was there and completely sober. In this special follow-up episode, Ryan's childhood friend Jeni joins the show to fill in the massive gaps in his memory and confirm the absolute chaos of that legendary night. As the designated driver and "babysitter" for a...

Season 2 kicks off October 6th! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Disarray - How to cope Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In the grand finale of this four-part family therapy session, Sandra puts Ryan in the hot seat with a series of questions that unpack the good, the bad, and the bizarre of their upbringing. We finally get the definitive ranking of relatives, from the most connected (Uncle Jim) to the most distant—Aunt Susan, a woman who seemingly developed a southern accent mid-flight to North Carolina and has avo...

You thought Dad's side of the family was a wild ride? Buckle up. In Part 3, Ryan and Sandra venture into the maternal line—the Petropolis side—where the stories are just as chaotic and the characters are even more unbelievable. Meet Grandma Flo, a woman whose driving style was a binary system of "pedal to the metal" or "slam on the brakes," and whose family history involves Chicago mob ties and a...

Welcome back to the family saga that makes your relatives look like saints. In Part 2, siblings Ryan and Sandra dive headfirst into their father's side of the family, proving that the gene pool was definitely... unfiltered. Before we get to the chaos, a quick disclaimer: our parents did the best they could with the trauma they had. Now, let's talk about Grandpa Bill, a man whose love language was...

Think your family is dysfunctional? Join siblings Ryan and Sandra for a trip down a memory lane paved with questionable decisions, sibling rivalry, and... a massive Ku Klux Klan memorabilia auction in their hometown. Yeah, it gets weird. In this episode, we're unpacking the family gene pool, and let's just say not everyone got an equal share. We'll meet brother David, whose birth involved an umbil...

Welcome to the explosive conclusion of our family's rock-bottom moment. In this final installment, Ryan and Sandra recount the harrowing story of the day their family imploded in a haze of crack cocaine, alcohol, and desperation. With the family fractured by medical bills and addiction, Dad's downward spiral accelerates. He goes from stealing money out of Ryan's wallet to pawning every valuable in...

The saga continues! In Part 2, the family heads to Minneapolis for a second, life-saving kidney transplant, but the medical drama is just the beginning. While Mom is donating a kidney to a two-year-old Sandra, Dad is having a father-son bonding day at the movies. Get ready for another dose of dark humor and dysfunction as we cover: The successful transplant, which came with a surgical souvenir—a s...

This episode is not for the faint of hear and should be considered to contain all of the triggers - Listener Discretion is Advised Welcome to a special episode so wild it had to be unlocked from the Patreon vault. This is the cautionary tale of what happens when a seventeen-year-old Ryan mixes a Gwar and Misfits concert, Devil's Night in Detroit, and a pharmacy's worth of illegal substances. Dress...

Welcome to the official origin story of our family's chaos. Before co-host Sandra was born in March 1989, life was a "Leave It to Beaver" dream. Then she showed up—the "oopsy daisy" who wrecked everything and kicked off a medical saga of epic proportions. Born with kidneys like Swiss cheese, Sandra was given a 24-hour life expectancy. When she stubbornly refused to die, the real drama began. Join...

We expand further on our adventures in Grand Haven Michigan and ponder the answer why are humans (here)? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We expand further on our adventures in Grand Haven Michigan and ponder the answer why are humans (here)? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We are putting the band together and finding out if we like recording, as this is a pilot it is a little less polished than future episodes but you do begin the process getting to know Sandra and I. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.