Permission for Pleasure

Dr. Debby Herbenick wants us to know that today's trend for rough sex is different than what we might expect. Her research, as detailed in her book Yes, Your Kid: What Parents Need to Know About Today’s Teens and Sex, shows a rise in aggressive and risky behavior, often lacking the crucial communication necessary between partners. Listen in as we unpack the rise in rough sex - specifically ch...

I have lost my beloved. There are hardly any words for me right now. I have tried to give you the few I could manage in the midst of this deep grief over the sudden death of the love of my life. ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey VISIT my website and blog

This week I'm joining Kara Ryska, host of The Special Needs Mom Podcast and sharing our conversation on reconnecting to your body and redefining sensuality. Listen in as we cover some practical ways to build a practice around connecting with yourself, your needs and the sensations in your body. Find out more about Kara Ryska and The Special Needs Mom Podcast ORDER my Book: Permission for Plea...

To celebrate my 60th birthday this week, I want to share three key insights that have significantly influenced my journey towards sexual wellness. These discoveries are crucial in helping you find the freedom to express, experience, and enjoy your sexuality. Plus, I have an exciting announcement to share! Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE and use code CINDY More on these topics: All About Lube Pa...

Embrace your desire. Own your wanting and gather your sexual agency. Doing this will help you change your relationship with desire. Dr. Juliana Hauser joins me to talk about reframing desire and how to get in touch with your vibrancy. You’ll hear practical ways to figure out what you want sexually and ideas for approaching and trying new things. Learn about the four quadrant exercise, a no thank y...

Are you curious about female ejaculation and squirting? Tune in as I answer your frequently asked questions. Yes - women ejaculate, and yes women can squirt. However, they are not the same thing. Learn the where, why and how in this - all about the fluids episode. Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE and use code CINDY More on these topics Ejaculation and Squirting blog F emale Anatomy of Arousal  ...

Loving behaviors is one of the six ingredients Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh has found necessary to build a lifetime of love. In this second part of our conversation, we talk about the importance of touch and developing a touch lexicon within your relationship. We get specific about all the ways to touch and how to make sure the touch given is received as intended. Sara also shares her distinction between...

The names we do or don’t call our genitals are fascinating. Where do these terms come from? What about the silence around our private parts? Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh, who specializes in the fields of human sexuality and relationships, joins me to share her research about genitals around the world. From what we call them and how we groom them, to our relationship with them. We discuss practices around...

Scientists have found that sexual noises go hand in hand with enhanced pleasure. Whether you hum, purr or moan - giving voice to what your body is feeling may make sex better. Bonus- it also serves as non-verbal communication and positive reinforcement to your partner! Make some noise on the blog ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education...

People masturbate for all kinds of reasons including pleasure, exploration, sleep and pain relief. For women who have never experienced orgasm, self-pleasure is the most scientifically supported sex therapy technique to learn the stimulation needed to climax. August McLaughlin, a journalist, author and host/producer of Girl Boner Radio, joins me to share her insights, and personal journey with mas...

All about the pelvic floor! Alexa Charbonneau, PT, DPT of Sarton Physical Therapy, joins me to offer her top tips and education for all ages and stages. Do you cough, laugh, sneeze and wet your pants? Do you have pain with sex? Do you have chronic prostatitis? While many of these might be common issues, they are not normal! The good news is there is physical therapy specifically for your pelvic fl...

In this quickie episode I’ll introduce you to the Kivin Method or oral for her – sideways. Hear a how-to guide and why you might want to try it. I'll also answer a few community questions including 'How can I make doggy style more intimate?' and 'Why do I bleed after sex?' Ten minutes of good education for good sex! Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE use code CINDY for 15%...

My guest found that her college students had very little understanding of their own bodies and how to navigate sex in a healthy way. Professor Gwendolyn Dolske Ph. D. teaches Philosophy at Cal Poly Pomona. One of her classes, Current Debates in Sexuality, gives her a unique perspective on what young adults are asking about when it comes to sex and relationships. We discuss topics such as consent,...

People sometimes assume the source of erectile changes in men as they age is a condition called - erectile dysfunction or ED. This is not always the case. In this episode I am discussing some of the normal sexual changes men may experience in midlife and beyond. Listen to learn about normal changes in erections, sexual functioning, and desire for men. More on these topics Erectile changes vs. erec...

As Gina Gutierrez, the co-founder of Dipsea, says in her Ted Talk, “Using their memories, fantasies, and some focus - women can turn themselves on with their thoughts.” In this conversation, Gina and I discuss exploration of fantasy, the differences between erotica and porn, ways to figure out what turns you on, and barriers to pleasure. I like the way Gina puts it, "Your desire is not a prob...

Most of us didn’t get a lot of education around sex, let alone how to talk about sex with a partner. Just like any new language, sexual conversation is a learnable skill that gets more comfortable with practice. Use the questions and prompts in this episode as conversation starters. Designed to be used with a partner, these are great for date night, weekend walks or on your next long drive togethe...

My guest Matthias Roberts, psychotherapist, and author of Beyond Shame: Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms says, “Wherever there is sex, there seems to be shame.” Matthias writes and speaks nationwide about the intersections between gender, sexuality, mental health, and theology. He feels one of the first steps in fighting shame is to practice recognizing it. Together we discuss how to...

There are many options available to treat your symptoms during the menopause transition. I continue my conversation with Dr. Shyama Mathews, a Board Certified OB/GYN, and NAMS Certified Menopause Specialist about perimenopause. We discuss non-hormonal prescriptions, systemic hormonal therapy, vaginal estrogen, moisturizers, and lubricants for sex. Dr. Shyama also shares how to find qualified menop...

Education is key to entering the menopause transition knowledgeable and prepared! In this episode, learn what you need to know about perimenopause with Dr. Shyama Mathews, a Board Certified OB/GYN, Minimally Invasive Gynecologic Surgeon, and NAMS Certified Menopause Specialist. We discuss when changes start, the common symptoms experienced, and what your hormones are doing. Don’t “gut out” the men...

"Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can have." Dana B. Myers, self-described as a sensually empowered voice for women, joins me to talk about how to embrace your sensuality and sexuality to boost your confidence. Dana and I get practical with tips for sexy talk, sexy texting, and how to communicate your desires. This episode will help you feel more turned on, assertive and engaged w...

My guest Ruthie Lindsey invites us into the liberating process of unlearning the stories we have been told about our bodies and finding delight in reclaiming pleasure. Having survived a catastrophic accident that left her living in chronic pain, Ruthie shares her journey toward embodied living and the many tools she’s found to help her along the way. Although the pain still visits her, Ruthie has...

This is the second most downloaded episode of all three seasons! Originally called Pleasure Techniques (Episode 41), I cover two important topics. First, I share the four specific techniques women can use with vaginal penetration to experience more pleasure and potential for orgasm. Then, I talk about how faking orgasms can undermine your pleasure and cause sexual miscommunication with a partner....

Did you know the medications you take can have an impact on your sex life? Learn about medications known to have sexual health side effects and what those common side effects are. I also offer talking points and my best nurse tip for having a conversation with your healthcare provider about any concerns or inquiries you might have pertaining to your sexual health and the medications you are taking...

Join me for a conversation with Abby, a devoted volunteer for our podcast and member of our community. We dive into the challenging waters of unlearning body shame, dismantling beliefs around our bodies and reclaiming sexual health education. Abby shares her experiences of how the pandemic era has shaped new perspectives on bodily autonomy and navigating consent. Learn more about what consent is,...

Do you feel at home in your body? I had the pleasure of talking about our relationship to our bodies with the multitalented Arielle Estoria, an artist, poet, writer, and actor. Her journey of self-discovery and spirituality is beautifully chronicled in her book, ' The Unfolding: An Invitation to Come Home to Yourself . ' Her story is a testament to the transformative impact of embracing...