Pause Purpose Play

Have you tried to make changes to your life? Drink less, get into shape, or other things to improve your health? How often have you berated yourself when you can't keep it up, when you fail to reach your goal? This week, I'm speaking to Shahroo Izadi about how kindness is key to achieving our goals and changing our habits.  Shahroo is a Behavioural Change Specialist, speaker and bestselling author...

Do you get angry? We all do, it's human. If you are hard on yourself for your anger, or want to find ways of relating to your anger differently, tune into this episode with Dr Russell Kolts.    Dr. Russell Kolts is a clinical psychologist and Professor at Eastern Washington University, USA. He has worked with anger issues in combat veterans, sexual assault survivors, children and adolescents, and...

Are you hard on yourself for mistakes you make? Do you beat yourself up for your shortcomings? In this episode, I explore why we listen to our inner critic, what function it serves for you, and how we can calm that voice inside ourselves. This episode of Pause Purpose Play is based on chapter eleven of my new book, The Lasting Connection, where we dive deep into how to soothe the inner critical vo...

Do you take time for you, to nourish yourself as a mother? This week, I am speaking to Sara Campin. Sara is a mum of two, a personal development coach and founder of Nourish, a new wellbeing app for mums offering bite-sized wellbeing & calm in your pocket.  Sara is a passionate advocate of all things that nourish the mind and is on a mission to empower mums to look after their mental health & well...

How connected are you to your body? This week, I'm excited to welcome Dr Sula Windgassen, who is not only my guest, but also the newest member of The Thomas Connection. Dr Sula Windgassen works in the NHS as a health psychologist, providing psychological interventions for a range of physical health conditions including IBS, inflammatory bowel disease, multiple sclerosis and painful bladder syndrom...

In this episode, I talk about the distinction between self care and self compassion, and how we need acts of self-care to be driven by a compassionate motivation in order for them to be helpful, not harmful. Looking after yourself out of fear or disgust is not driven by self-compassion.  This episode of Pause Purpose Play is based on chapter ten of my new book, The Lasting Connection. You can expe...

Are you able to accept help when it's given? In this episode, I talk about how hard it can be to notice when care and support is given, and how we can be blocked in accepting or even more so, asking for that support. I cover why cultivating an inner mentor can help you become kinder to yourself and others - and allow you the permission to let all that love in. This episode of Pause Purpose Play is...

In this episode I speak to Alexander Rozental about procrastination and perfectionism. Alexander Rozental is a Licensed Psychologist in Sweden, with a PhD from the Department of Psychology at Stockholm University, and he is presently a Post Doctoral Researcher at the Centre for Psychiatry Research at Karolinska Institutet in Stockholm. Alexander has published research and a book on the subject of...

In today's slightly more vulnerable and personal episode, I'm celebrating pub day! It's finally here - my new book, The Lasting Connection, published today! I will tell you about my journey into writing, and how I made space for writing this book as part of my business, to not run the risk of burning out in the process.    Order my book at Bookshop here   Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk I...

In this episode, I talk about cultivating a garden where you and your partner can grow into the best versions of yourselves, by letting compassion flow out from yourself. This isn't easy when we are under pressure, but doing small acts can create a climate of warmth, trust and respect.  This episode of Pause Purpose Play is based on chapter eight of my new book, The Lasting Connection. You can exp...

In this episode, I talk about understanding the different versions of your 'self' that show up in your relationship, and cultivating a compassionate self. This episode of Pause Purpose Play is based on chapter seven of my new book, The Lasting Connection. You can expect these special episodes, to appear in your feed every couple of days, with conversations between me and other couples and relation...

In this week's conversation I talk to Sophie Burch about taking care of our mental and relationship health before and after birth. Sophie Burch aka The Mamma Coach is on a mission to put mental wellbeing more on the map in pregnancy, birth and parenting.  She has 14 years as a mother to 4 boys (including twins), as a perinatal therapist and coach, and a birth trauma and PND survivor.  Her experien...

It's not just the absence of something negative that makes for lasting connections - reducing your arguments, hostility or criticism. You also need the presence of something positive, something good. A feeling of closeness, a bond, feeling content in each other's company and feeling safe.  One of the first steps towards a lasting connection, is understanding your emotions. If you don't get them, h...

If you don't notice your partner, how can you improve your connection with them? If you don't notice your own feelings, thoughts or urges, how can you express what you want or need in your relationship? In this episode, I talk about how practicing formal or informal mindfulness can help you to calm your time-travelling brain, connect with the world around you in the here and now, and connect more...

In this episode, I talk about the characteristics that make or break a relationship. I invite you to consider which attributes your current or past relationship has, and to examine your intentions to help you move forward with strengthening your bond. This episode of Pause Purpose Play is based on chapter four of my new book, The Lasting Connection. You can expect these special episodes, to appear...

In this week's conversation I talk to Dr. Tracy Dalgleish about how our attachment styles affect our relationship dynamics, and how we can change the patterns we fall into with our partner. Dr. Tracy Dalgleish is a Clinical Psychologist and couples therapist who helps individuals and couples navigate the challenges we all face in our relationships and within ourselves to create a more meaningful l...

In this episode, I talk about the strains on connection that modern relationships experience, including hardship, pressure to be perfect and globalisation, and the antidote to all this disconnection - compassion. This episode of Pause Purpose Play is based on chapter three of my new book, The Lasting Connection. You can expect these special episodes, to appear in your feed every couple of days, wi...

In this episode, I discuss how different couples have different levels of 'flammability'. Understanding how flammable you and your partner are,  and what your triggers are, can help you to nurture your relationship towards the glowing embers stage - where you can roast some marshmallows instead of burning your relationship house down.  You can expect these special episodes, celebrating the launch...

What makes a relationship last? Basically, if you can own your own stuff, and tolerate your partner's stuff, you've got a pretty good start.  In this episode, I ask 'what is love?' And discuss why love is not enough, you need compassion too, in order to have a strong relationship.  You can expect these special episodes, celebrating the release of my new book, The Lasting Connection, to appear in y...

In this episode, two couples experts get together talking about the hardship of having sex after having had kids, with the sleep deprivation, change in roles, breastfeeding, exhaustion and possible resentment getting in the way. Don’t worry, we lift you up by also providing hope around how you can reconnect again sexually, with emotional and physical intimacy. Catherine Topham Sly is a BCAP accred...

Welcome to the first of 24 short solo episodes of the podcast, to celebrate the release of my new book, The Lasting Connection which will be released on 11th February 2021. In this episode, I talk about what it means to build a lasting connection, and how I will guide you through the topics covered in the book over the next few weeks. You can expect these special episodes to appear in your feed ev...

In this episode, I talk to Jo Love, an award winning Mental Health Advocate and campaigner. She shares her experience of mental illness including depression, anxiety and burnout alongside evidence-based strategies that helped her recover and go into a career of helping others feel less alone in their suffering.    4:12 Jo's painful story of mental illness 7:12 Suicidal thoughts and postnatal depre...

2020 has been a tough year, with so much tension on our shoulders.  How much pressure comes from the outside, of furlough and financial strain and loved ones struggling? And how much pressure comes from the inside, adding pressure onto your burden with your own expectations to be perfect?  Pressure to home school perfectly, pressure to get everything done on the to do list despite being demotivate...

In this episode, Dr Rebekah Shallcross and I tackle some big questions – what is the antidote to the oppression of womxn, what is a true ‘choice’ vs what we do because of hitting upon the barriers set up by white heteronormative patriarchy, and how does the pressure of the patriarchy impact womxn’s mental health? Although a tough topic, we also bring some light and humour to this, considering how...

Are you a rule follower? Thinking you 'must' or 'should' do things? In this episode I consider the ways in which rigid following of self-imposed rules can harm ourselves and others. Then I suggest a loosening of the rules so that they serve you, rather than you serving them. I also look at whether you have a different set of rules for yourself, than you do for those you love, and what happens to y...