Pastors on Porn

Self Care is a huge part of recovery and many Pastors think this is something less than spiritual. In this episode I challenge all those in ministry to actually practice a yearly holiday as part of a self care regimen. (I don't mean a week here or there!) I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who are looking to deal with their unmanageable sexual behaviors. If you need a safe place to talk...

Have you had the experience of having a family member go through a marriage breakup? In this painful episode, Vern discusses the ripples that spread out when someone you love go through a painful breakup and ask "Is there any lessons we can learn?" I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who are looking to deal with their unmanageable sexual behaviors. If you need a safe place to talk - you c...

Have you ever been shoehorned into a particular definition of being spiritual that doesn't work for your wiring. In this episode Vern talks about how we need to find our own rhythm of being spiritual - even if it means not journalling! I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who are looking to deal with their unmanageable sexual behaviors. If you need a safe place to talk - you can reach out...

In this recording from a Sunday morning message Vern asks the question - are you up to the task? Using the text of 2 Timothy 1:7 Vern talks about how God's spirit wants to move us from a posture of fear and timidity to one of power, love, and self discipline. I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who are looking to deal with their unmanageable sexual behaviors. If you need a safe place to t...

Looking back on 30 years of pastoral ministry - there are three elements that led me to experience the best version of my pastoral self - three things, that when I strayed from, caused me to fray around the edges. I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who are looking to deal with their unmanageable sexual behaviors. If you need a safe place to talk - you can reach out to me at bandofbrother...

What if God wanted us use our story, to leverage it for His glory - even the broken shameful parts. In this episode Vern shares how, rather than hiding our brokenness, God wants to use it in surprising ways. I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who are looking to deal with their unmanageable sexual behaviors. If you need a safe place to talk - you can reach out to me at bandofbrothers.care...

How does the idea of becoming fully alive relate to our recovery? From a Sunday morning message, Vern takes us on a journey through Narnia, Wild at Heart and the rock group Evanescense as he explores how the God's promise of "bringing us to life" is at the core of what we all long for. I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who are looking to deal with their unmanageable sexual behaviors. If...

In this episode Vern interviews pastor and author Mark Denison who shares about his loss of ministry and how God has turned this loss into a kingdom gain. Mark is the author of "Broken Vessels - Restoring Broken Pastors. To contact Mark you can reach him at https://thereisstillhope.org If you need a safe place to talk - you can also reach out to me (Vern) at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com You can a...

As we struggle with moving away from embedded porn habits, it is important to make a distinction between the presence of porn and the power of porn. Using Scripture Vern provides hope that although we may still experience the presence of sin, it's power has been broken through Jesus. I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who are looking to deal with their unmanageable sexual behaviors. If y...

Pastors are frequently told that they need to be above reproach (I Timothy 3) What does this actually mean? How does this relate to having a sexual struggle with something like Porn? In this episode Vern tackles that topic. I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who are looking to deal with their unmanageable sexual behaviors. If you need a safe place to talk - you can reach out to me at ban...

How do we make sense of the scriptures that promise us Christian freedom when we still struggle with elements of sin's bondage? This Sunday morning message seeks to bridge that gap by providing hope for freedom - even when we are still not fully experiencing it. I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who are looking to deal with their unmanageable sexual behaviors. If you need a safe place t...

It is not uncommon to look back at a recent relapse and ask ourself "what was that about?". In this episode Vern seeks to answer that question by exploring what our relapses reveal. I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who are looking to deal with their unmanageable sexual behaviors. If you need a safe place to talk - you can reach out to me at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com You can also se...

This episode refers in part to the 80's movie the Mission. Fair warning the movie does have considerable nudity in it as it portrays the life in the tribes of the South American jungle. On the other hand, the book "All is grace" by Brennan Manning contains no nudity!' I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who are looking to deal with their unmanageable sexual behaviors. If you need a safe p...

I believe that coaching and therapy work super well together. I am a coach not a therapist. I regularly make use of therapists and some therapists have found my approach is a great addition to what they do as well. Recently I was invited to speak to a counseling center and a group of therapists as to how my approach to sexual addictions could work along with their good work. This episode is from t...

Gerald May in his great book "Addictions and Grace" says that one of the components of an addiction is the "distortion of reality". In this episode Vern explores how an addiction to porn changes, distorts and warps our view of reality. I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who are looking to deal with their unmanageable sexual behaviors. If you need a safe place to talk - you can reach out...

Vern has been using Stephen Mansfield's book - Top Ten Signs of a Leadership Crash as the background for a number of recent episodes. In this episode, Vern is excited to interview Stephen for some further thoughts around the need for this book. I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who are looking to deal with their unmanageable sexual behaviors. If you need a safe place to talk - you can r...

In this episode Vern explores bitterness - one of the key elements in Stephen Mansfield's book "Ten Signs of a Leadership Crash" I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who are looking to deal with their unmanageable sexual behaviors. If you need a safe place to talk - you can reach out to me at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com You can also see some more resources on my website https://bandofbro...

In this episode Vern explores "Forgetting Fun" - one of the key elements in Stephen Mansfield's book "Ten Signs of a Leadership Crash" I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who are looking to deal with their unmanageable sexual behaviors. If you need a safe place to talk - you can reach out to me at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com You can also see some more resources on my website https://ban...

Is there a "gap" between your private self and your public persona. This episode based on the book "Ten Signs of a Leadership Crash" talks about how that gap is especially problematic for those of us who struggle with sexual purity and are in ministry. I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who are looking to deal with their unmanageable sexual behaviors. If you need a safe place to talk - y...

This is a part episode taken from a longer conversation on my Podcast - Finding Traction episode 54 where Vern interviews Australian sex therapist Monica Cook. This podcast is simply about the part of the conversation where Monica presents a different take on Jesus and the woman caught in adultery. I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who are looking to deal with their unmanageable sexual...

In this episode Vern explores the lack of close friendships - one of the key elements in Stephen Mansfield's book "Ten Signs of a Leadership Crash" I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who are looking to deal with their unmanageable sexual behaviors. If you need a safe place to talk - you can reach out to me at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com You can also see some more resources on my websit...

In this episode Vern explores Isolation - one of the key elements in Stephen Mansfield's book "Ten Signs of a Leadership Crash" I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who are looking to deal with their unmanageable sexual behaviors. If you need a safe place to talk - you can reach out to me at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com You can also see some more resources on my website https://bandofbrot...

As a pastor what is appropriate to tell about my sexual struggles? In this episode we explore that question - a question that most of us struggle with in our desire to be open with our lives but also the desire to protect ourselves. I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who are looking to deal with their unmanageable sexual behaviors. If you need a safe place to talk - you can reach out to...

In this episode Vern interview Jonathan Daugherty the author of the book Grace Based Recovery. They discuss the ways, good and bad, that people try to help others walk free from porn. I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who are looking to deal with their unmanageable sexual behaviors. If you need a safe place to talk - you can reach out to me at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com You can also...

There are a number of ways that churches react to the information that a pastor is actively engaged in some form of sexual sin. In this episode Vern explores a number of those approaches (both helpful and not so helpful) and proposes a model to use in dealing with these situations. I love to talk to Pastors - especially those who are looking to deal with their unmanageable sexual behaviors. If you...