Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo Mandel

When churches call clergy sexual abuse “moral failings” or “affairs,” they obscure the truth: Predatory pastors groom adult congregants using tactics that mirror coercive control and intimate partner violence. Counselor and researcher Jaime Simpson joins us to dismantle myths about consent in faith settings, drawing from her study Broken, Shattered & Spiritually Battered: Groom Pastors Who Pre...

Surviving trauma isn't evidence of brokenness—it’s proof of extraordinary strength. Yet traditional therapy approaches often miss this crucial reality, focusing instead on deficits and pathology while forcing survivors to relive painful experiences without first creating safety. In this powerful conversation, therapist and trauma survivor Oli Doyle joins David and Ruth to challenge convention...

What does it take to transform domestic violence practice in an organization? In this illuminating conversation with Safe & Together Institute’s Systems Change Champion Kyra Feetham from the Centre for Women & Co. in Queensland, Australia, we explore the power of language, values alignment, and relationship-building in creating sustainable change. Kyra shares her journey of embedding the S...

When Kelly Daley, Community Connection Practitioner at Upper Murray Family Care , stood to accept her Champion Award for case practice in the Asia Pacific region, she was not just celebrating professional achievement—she was honoring a deeply personal journey of healing and transformation. Working across three agencies to implement the Safe & Together Model framework with children and young pe...

Imagine a world where our most vulnerable babies are protected without automatically severing their connection to their family. That's the vision Lauren Seager-Smith brings as Chief Executive of the For Baby's Sake Trust, where they're revolutionizing responses to domestic abuse during pregnancy and early childhood. The numbers are staggering: approximately 50,000 babies under two a...

What if ending violence against women isn't just about asking men to stop bad behavior, but inviting them to embrace a more meaningful definition of strength and leadership? This question forms the heart of our powerful conversation with Jackson Katz, Ph. D., one of the world's foremost male voices in the movement to prevent gender-based violence. Katz joins us to discuss his groundbreak...

When Bruce Bieber's phone rang at 2:50 AM, his world shattered. Three deputies stood at his door with news that his daughter Abby, a dedicated police officer known for her compassion and professionalism, had been murdered by her boyfriend – a fellow officer with a documented history of domestic violence that had been systematically minimized by their department. This powerful conversation exp...

David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo Mandel share highlights from the 2025 Safe & Together Asia Pacific Coercive Control and Children's Conference in Melbourne, Australia. Listen in as they reflect on key moments and the impact of bringing together over 400 practitioners from across the region. Here are some of the highlights:  • Commitment to equity through a hybrid format that allowed partici...

In this episode, David and Ruth speak with Dr. Anni Donaldson about her groundbreaking research examining domestic abuse in Scotland’s rural, remote, and island communities. Dr. Donaldson, an honorary research fellow at the University of Strathclyde and longtime expert in gender-based violence, shares insights from interviews with survivors and professionals about the unique dynamics of domestic a...

"Single mothers are essentially the unofficial reserve army of prevention agents in this country and around the world." - Jess Hill In this episode, David and Ruth speak with Australian experts Jess Hill and Professor Michael Salter about their groundbreaking paper challenging current approaches to preventing gender-based violence. With Australia's commitment to end gender-based vio...

In this episode, David and Ruth explore why coercive control must be at the center of how we understand the impact of domestic abuse on children. Moving beyond just focusing on physical violence or whether children "witnessed" abuse, they discuss how perpetrators' patterns of behavior can devastate children's wellbeing in multiple ways. David and Ruth examine how coercive contr...

In this thought-provoking first episode of 2025, David and Ruth explore how displacement-based responses to domestic violence reflect and reinforce gender double standards while often creating additional vulnerabilities for survivors and their children. Recording from the Azores, they examine how the expectation that victims must leave their homes to find safety places unfair burdens on survivors...

What if understanding power dynamics could transform the way we approach domestic abuse and trauma? Join us for this special live recording of the Partner with a Survivor podcast, where we invite you to explore the delicate intricacies of relationships alongside hosts David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo Mandel from the Safe & Together Institute. Ruth, known for her “cranky survivor” persona, opens...

What if the institutions we turn to for solace are also the ones trapping us in cycles of harm? That’s the challenging reality we confront in our latest episode featuring Reverend Geneece Goertzen, affectionately known as Rev. Gen. A survivor of domestic violence herself, Rev. Gen brings a deeply personal perspective to the table, sharing insights from her book Taking it Seriously: A Faith Leader’...

Unlock the secrets to supporting children affected by domestic abuse with insights from Dr. Asha Patel, CEO of Innovating Minds . In this episode, we explore innovative approaches like the Healing Together program, which integrates trauma-informed principles, neuroscience, and attachment models to help children manage their emotions. Dr. Patel shares her journey from working with high-profile offe...

In this thought-provoking episode, David and Ruth explore the nuanced intersection of father engagement and domestic abuse–informed practice with Chris Brown, President of the National Fatherhood Initiative (NFI). Their conversation examines how we can thoughtfully promote father involvement while maintaining high standards for men as parents, disrupting gender double standards, and keeping the sa...

Join us from San Miguel, Azores, Ruth’s paternal ancestral home, as David and Ruth take a hard look at how performance metrics, KPIs, and ideas of “professionalism” can quietly reinforce bias, distance us from survivors, and reward procedural compliance over real-world impact. We explore what it means to measure what actually matters —not just outputs, paperwork, or policy adherence, but survivor...

In this episode, David and Ruth speak about the “Myth of the Domestic Violence Incident” chapter of David's recently published book Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers: How to Transform The Way We Keep Children Safe From Domestic Violence .  They discuss how an isolated incident lens: Focuses systems interventions and professional responses on isolated acts of physical violence rather t...

The recently published, groundbreaking, population-based study of child maltreatment in Australia found exposure to domestic violence is the most common form of maltreatment (39.6%). In this interview with Professor Daryl Higgins, one of the study’s chief investigators, David and Ruth discuss the domestic violence–specific results, including how they intersect with other forms of maltreatment and...

Partnering with survivors is a sacred act. Listening to survivors, hearing their stories, and working with them as equals is uplifting for practitioners and their clients.  In this episode of Partnered With a Survivor, David and Ruth speak with Beth Ann Morhardt, one of the first domestic violence consultants trained in the Safe & Together Model , about the spiritual aspects of the work with f...

In this episode, David and Ruth have an intimate discussion about how we can be emotionally and behaviorally responsible even when we have been trained into fear and reactivity through violence and abuse.  David and Ruth discuss: How we need to drop binary definitions in order to prevent abusers from using their history of trauma as an excuse for current behaviors of coercive control and violence....

Discover the hard truths about the impact of domestic violence on children as David and Ruth discuss the “Myth of the Child Witness” chapter from David’s book Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers: How to Transform the Way We Keep Children Safe from Domestic Violence. By listening to this episode, you’ll come away with a deeper understanding and a sense of urgency to shift the way society resp...

In this episode, Ruth and David start with a roundup of their March 2024 trip to Australia and New Zealand—with highlights from the 7th annual Safe & Together Model Asia Pacific Conference and its focus on work with First Nation peoples, feedback from podcast listeners, and an update on how the Model is transforming the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia. Then Ruth and David pivot t...

Both men and women can be violent and controlling. In this episode of Partnered with a Survivor, Ruth and David speak with international expert Lisa Young Larance about her research and clinical practice related to women’s use of force in intimate relationships. In the conversation, Lisa highlights the importance of context and intersectionalities in any analysis of women’s use of force in intimat...

Sexual and domestic violence in the military challenges recruitment, retention, team cohesion, operational readiness, security, and organizational health. Yet, most militaries around the world are still struggling to effectively address these problems. Gaps in the response harm military families and allow the destruction of the careers and health of survivors. The Safe & Together Institute,  t...