Parenting Without Power Struggles

In this conversation, Susan and Dr. Kristin Neff talks about the importance of cultivating both fierce and tender self-compassion, offering specific practices that parents can easily use when they're feeling overwhelmed, angry, or simply being hard on themselves. https://susanstiffelman.com/podcast-episode-kristin-neff/

In this episode, Susan talks with Dr. Ramani Durvasula, author of author of the new book, It's Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People , as well as the books Should I Stay Or Should I Go? Surviving A Relationship With A Narcissist , and Don't You Know Who I Am? How To Stay Sane In An Era Of Narcissism, Entitlement and Incivility . Susan and Dr. Durvasula discuss difficulties, gri...

Susan talks with Dr. Pressman about the five guiding principles for raising a good human: relationships, reflection, regulation, rules, and repair. They stress the importance of being a "good enough" parent, rather than striving for perfection, and emphasize that imperfection is a natural part of being human. http://pages.susanstiffelman.com/aliza-pressman-podcast-episode

Resilience isn't a trait kids either have or don't — it's something they build through repeated experiences of feeling hard emotions and getting through them, with a present and steady parent by their side. In this episode, Susan Stiffelman, Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, and Dr. Laura Markham explore why our instinct to fix our children's disappointment can actually work against us — and what to do inste...

In this episode, Susan explores why we sometimes react in ways that don't match our intentions. Through the lens of Internal Family Systems, she encourages parents to view those moments as protective parts taking over—and reminds us that our steady, wise Self is never far away. How understanding your own parts helps you respond more calmly to your child's activated parts. Why intellectual understa...

In this episode, Susan is joined by Lisa Spiegel, author of Internal Family Systems Therapy with Children , for a conversation about how understanding our "parts" can transform our parenting life. They explore what it means to be Self-led, why you're not your anger (and your child isn't either), and how helping kids understand their parts builds confidence, compassion, and emotional resilience.  ...

In this episode, Susan explores how children are increasingly turning to AI chatbots not just for information, but for emotional reassurance — a shift that can quietly replace human connection. Drawing on insights from psychologist Dr. Zak Stein, she explains why real relationships, with their pauses, limits, and repair, are essential for healthy development, and how endlessly affirming bots can i...

In this podcast, Susan explores the quiet, everyday joy that often gets lost in the stress, demands, and constant pressures of parenting—and why these small moments of happiness are essential for both parents and children. Drawing on attachment theory, neuroscience, and Internal Family Systems, she explains how play, laughter, and lightness help regulate nervous systems, strengthen connection, and...

In this episode, Susan and Dr. Hallowell share tips for talking with children about ADHD that emphasizes its benefits rather than using a "just try harder!" approach. ADHD is a trait both Susan and Dr. Hallowell share, and both see it as an asset that has made their lives better---with effective strategies and support.  Why ADHD is better understood as a trait, not a deficit The real dangers to wa...

In this episode, Susan explores what power struggles really are, why they arise so instinctively, and how parents can step out of them by embodying calm, confident leadership. Drawing from decades of work with families, she illustrates how pushing against a child's demands—whether about rides, rules, or routines—creates a cycle of resistance, while responding from the grounded "Captain of the Ship...

Susan speaks with clinician and author Kelsey Blahnik about her new book The AND Way, a model that helps people navigate tension while staying connected across deep divides. Together, they explore how parents can raise children who are open-minded, compassionate, and capable of engaging respectfully with people who think differently. The episode encourages parents to cultivate respect, understandi...

In this episode, Susan explores what resilience truly looks like in children and why it's essential for parents to allow kids to experience manageable frustration instead of rushing in to fix or smooth things over. She explains how a parent's instinct to rescue often comes from their own discomfort, and why doing our inner work is key to helping children develop the flexibility, confidence, and co...

In this episode, Susan connects with her longtime friend, Rabbi Michael Zedek, exploring the power of storytelling as a way to transmit values, resilience, and compassion to children and adults alike. Rabbi Zedek shares wisdom from his five decades as a spiritual leader, reflecting on how stories help people internalize lessons more deeply than lectures or rules ever could. Their dialogue touches...

In this episode, Susan talks with neuropsychologist Dr. Rita Eichenstein about the parent brain—how becoming a parent literally reshapes the brain, rewiring it for empathy, resilience, multitasking, and emotional intelligence. Dr. Eichenstein and Susan explore how understanding these changes can help parents recognize parenthood as a distinct and profound stage of human development, and appreciate...

In this episode, Susan speaks with Dr. Judith Orloff about the gifts of sensitivity, offering encouragment and insight for parents of these tender-hearted, deep feeling children and teens. https://pages.susanstiffelman.com/podcast-judith-orloff

In this episode, Susan explores one of the most powerful truths about parenting: that the most important thing we can do for our children is to work on ourselves. Drawing inspiration from Dr. Gabor Maté's insight and her training in Internal Family Systems (IFS), Susan explains how our emotional state, unresolved wounds, and inner "parts" profoundly shape our children's sense of safety and connect...

In this episode, Susan emphasizes the importance of emotional connection between parents and children, even amid the busyness of daily life. She reassures parents that deep closeness doesn't require elaborate outings or large chunks of time, but can be nurtured through small, intentional practices like sharing a genuine smile, creating five-minute rituals, repairing after moments of tension, and e...

In this episode, Susan explores the important difference between threats and boundaries in parenting. Susan illustrates the contrast between threats and boundaries using real-life examples—such as homework, chores, and screen time. She highlights how shifting from reactive threats to steady boundaries strengthens trust and cooperation while giving children the security and clarity they need. https...

In this episode, Susan offers compassionate guidance for navigating the emotional complexities of parenting after divorce. Susan explores the importance of emotional presence, not perfection, as the foundation for helping children feel secure during and after separation. Susan encouraging parents to model emotional safety, welcome messy feelings, and repair ruptures in connection. She validates th...

In this episode, Susan reflects on Derek Thompson's article  The Death of Partying in the USA to explore a troubling trend: the steady decline of in-person socializing, especially among young people. Susan highlights the mental health risks this poses—not just for adults, but for children growing up in screen-based, solitary environments. Susan gently encourages families to prioritize connection i...

  In this episode, Susan explores the unique needs and strengths of highly sensitive children. Susan explains that high sensitivity is a temperament trait—not a flaw—characterized by deep empathy, acute perception, and strong emotional responses. Acknowledging that parenting a sensitive child can be both exhausting and rewarding, Susan emphasizes the importance of providing a calm, steady presence...

In this episode, encourages parents to shift from reactive discipline to compassionate problem-solving by asking a simple but powerful question: "Why does this behavior make sense?" Susan illustrates how understanding the root causes of a child's actions can lead to more effective, connection-based responses. https://pages.susanstiffelman.com/podcasts-why-behavior-makes-sense

In this episode, Susan explors the roots of parental reactivity—those moments when we snap, yell, or shut down—and why they have less to do with our children's behavior and more to do with our own unmet needs, past experiences, and nervous system responses. Recognizing our triggers with compassion can open the door to healing, not just for ourselves but for our relationships with our kids. Susan i...

In this episode, Susan tackles a common parenting challenge: how to stay calm in the heat of conflict. Drawing on attachment theory, neuroscience, and mindfulness, Susan introduces two powerful tools— shrinking the moment and using a mental anchor word —to help parents regulate their own emotions and respond more constructively when their children resist limits. She invites listeners to a free web...

In this insightful episode, Susan is joined by Tracy Gillett of  Raised Good for an honest conversation about parenting through meltdowns—those intense emotional storms that can shake both children and caregivers. They explore what's really happening in a child's brain during a meltdown, why these moments are developmentally normal, and how parents can show up with compassion rather than control....