Parental Development

This episode has a whole lot of vulnerability as Leah and Beka demonstrate what it sounds like to unpack some of the subtle messages we receive as kids and start to figure out how we can resolve them to make us better parents. It's possible to believe you had a good childhood and want to do some things differently in your own relationship with your children. Both things can be true. In order...

On this episode we talk about what is the responsibility of our kids, how we teach them accountability, empathy, respect, and kindness, while also making sure they understand that they are not responsible for the thoughts, feelings, or behaviors of another person. Beka and Leah talk through their own childhood experiences and the subtle messages that can create beliefs that their feelings and want...

On this episode Leah talks through a situation that happened within her family that illustrates some of the principles that guides this style of parenting. They talk through the difference between shame and guilt , and the importance as a parent to recognize when our responses to our kids can lead to shame, which is incredibly damaging to them. Much of the time, when we are incredibly angry with o...

Navigating technology and what guidelines to place on our children is one of the most challenging parts of being a parent! In this episode Beka and Leah talk through the different stats on the typical age kids are given a phone, how much time they spend on the phone, and how some parents choose to monitor (or not) their use. It's important parents understand different apps that are out there...

Foster Care is such a crucial part of our system, to keep kids in a family setting when their family of origin is unable or unwilling to keep them safe at a certain point of time. It's also critical that the way kids in foster care are parented does not reinforce the negative beliefs they have about themselves, the world, and other people, which we talk about in more detail in this episode. T...

This episode is a little different and discusses the mental health needs we have as parents, our kids' mental health, and how we can best support ourselves and them, particularly as the pandemic continues to impact us. Leah discusses her experience with anxiety throughout the pandemic and Beka talks about feelings of depression she also struggled with. For many of us, as we navigate virtual l...

In this episode, we continue our discussion about attachment, talking through the four different types: Secure, Insecure Avoidant, Insecure Anxious, and Disorganized. Our attachment pattern is with us for life, and influences how we parent our children. Attachment at its core is about safety, security, and trust, and Leah and Beka talk through how the different styles influence how we view other p...

In this episode, we FINALLY talk about attachment, Leah's first love and truly what guides everything she does as a parent and a person. Attachment is a reciprocal relationship between people and begins to develop in utero and continues throughout childhood, but particularly in the first three years of life.  As we respond to our babies in distress, we start to hardwire their thoughts and bel...

In this episode the sisters discuss one of the most common questions we have heard - how do I start this style of parenting? This approach is simple, it's not easy - and here are the steps Leah and Beka identify that can help start this process and make small, meaningful changes. Stop anything that uses fear to control behavior (threats, punishments, physical discipline) Fear cannot coexist w...

This episode talks through the difficult topic of sexual abuse of children; sharing some difficult statistics .  To start to think about how to protect our kids and teach them that they are in control of their bodies and their level of comfort matters, Leah gives suggestions to start conversations about body autonomy.  While "stranger danger" is commonly how parents talk to their childre...

Almost all adults value honesty in our relationships but sometimes our discomfort makes us say dishonest things to our kids. Having conversations about adult topics is hard, including sex, race, gender norms, politics, etc. Leah talks through different ways to have some of these conversations in honest ways, while also taking into account children's age and developmental level. It's impo...

You all asked so many great questions, we had to record a bonus episode to answer them all!! This episode covers questions like: How do you start? What do you do when your kids talk back? How do you handle family members who might not agree with your approach? What about those crying babies? Do you pick them up? We hope this has been helpful! As Leah mentioned, there are many books that might help...

You asked, we answered! This Q&A episode covers lots of different topics, including letting your kids dress themselves, how to change a nighttime routine, timeouts, incentives/bribing, and so much more!! There were so many great questions we couldn't even get to them all, so hopefully this gives you some additional insight and help in navigating this new parenting style. Subscribe, rate,...

In this episode, Leah finishes explaining Polyvagal Theory, and how the ladder helps us understand the state we and our kids are in - Safe and Connected, Fight or Flight, or Collapse/Shut down. The sisters talk about the importance of us staying in "Safe and Connected" so we can bring our kids with us, into the only state where they can actually hear us, listen to us, follow directions,...

In this episode Leah really nerds out on the neuroscience associated with this type of parenting - did you know we have more than 5 senses?!   She discusses several different theories and research, including the science of interoception , Allan Schore's paper on regulation and attachment , and Stephen Porges' Polyvagal Theory . While this information may be difficult to take in and fully...

In this episode we talk more about examples provided in previous episodes, discussing the need for parents to "control" their kids, and a different way to view this goal through this new lens. The new goal becomes to help support, understand, and validate feelings to reach our goal. This work is hard, and if you try to do too much too soon, it can be overwhelming. Leah walks through smal...

In this episode we talk about all the controversial topics - apologies, sharing, and saying please and thank you! Not surprisingly, Leah does this a little differently and offers a different perspective of ways to actually teach our children how to empathize with others, be thankful, and learn how to engage with their friends in healthy ways. Ultimately, we're unable to control what our kids...

In this episode we discuss this powerful video of a dad coregulating his toddler through a tantrum, and how important coregulation is to help our kids to learn to self-regulate as they age. We discuss how  mirror neurons  impact our regulation and the development of our kids, and how negative behaviors change as kids age, and their brains develop - from the bottom up! Kids who are not processing e...

In this episode Leah talks through a real world example of this type of parenting and discipline in action. This leads into a discussion about power and control between kids and parents and the need for parents to do their own work to be able to manage their own regulation needs. Ultimately, we need to focus on our relationships with our kids, NOT their behavior! Subscribe, rate, and review us on...

In this episode we cover: Whatever kids say is truth (to them) Don't get hung up on the power of their words All behavior is language All emotions are ok and should be validated As parents we want to be the ultimate safe space for our kids to bring all their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. We want all of them! By validating their emotions and showing them that we are able to accept them ju...

In this episode we cover: A few listener questions  Respect is Earned and Challenging Authority is ok Emotional development and regulation Flipping your lid - Dr. Dan Siegel H.A.L.T Subscribe, rate, and review us on Podchaser , Apple ,  or wherever you listen to podcasts! We're planning a Q&A episode!! Send us your questions to info@parentaldevelopment.com!! Follow us on social media to j...

In this episode we covered: 1. Discipline does not mean consequences 2. What about Spanking? 3. Kids Can't be Bad Submit questions to: info@parentaldevelopment Follow us on social media to join the conversation!!! Facebook Instagram Subscribe, rate, and review us on Podchaser , Apple ,  or wherever you listen to podcasts! Follow us on social media to join the conversation!!! Facebook Instagra...

In this episode we covered: 1. Kids are complete people 2. Childhood Brain Development 3. Regulation/Dysregulation Submit questions to: info@parentaldevelopment Follow us on social media to join the conversation!!! Facebook Instagram Subscribe, rate, and review us on Podchaser , Apple ,  or wherever you listen to podcasts! Follow us on social media to join the conversation!!! Facebook Instagram

In this episode we cover: 1. Who we are and how we got here 2. Basic understandings and the spirit of the podcast Topics/Information mentioned in the show: 1. Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson 2. Janet Lansbury Submit questions to: info@parentaldevelopment Follow us on social media to join the conversation!!! Facebook Instagram Subscribe, rate, and review us on Podchaser , Apple ,  or wherever you...