Parental Development

This episode talks through how to talk about weight changes, health, and body image with our kids. How we talk about our bodies and the bodies of others sets the stage for how our kids think and talk about their own bodies. It's important to pay attention to the subtle messages we're giving, even inadvertently.  When there are noticable weight changes, be careful about how you talk and a...

As our kids head back to school,this episode gives some tips and tricks to make this time of year a little less stressful and little more connecting with our kids. To help with the stress associated with back to school, try these things: 1. Prep - give them as much information as you know - what will drop off/pick up look like? Who is their teacher? What will their classroom look like? What is the...

There has been quite the dust up in the Gentle Parenting community over the last week, which triggered Leah enough that she needed to talk about it! There seems to be a real misunderstanding of the meaning of the phrase "validating emotions." To validate simply means to ACCEPT. It doesn't mean all emotions are right, positive, feel good, etc. At the same time, emotions are different...

In this episode Leah  does her own work, in front of everyone. Illustrated by an interaction with her 9-year-old,  she works through her own history and how it impacts her responses to her own children. We often assign very negative intentions, motives, and behaviors to our kids when they are incredibly young, setting the stage to maintain these negative beliefs about them as they age. The message...

Now that we've encouraged you to stop using physical punishment, this episode gives specific ideas related to other discipline techniques. We talk through specific questions from parents about what to do to address back talk, sucking fingers, damaging property, and more! Subscribe, rate, and review us on Podchaser , Apple ,  or wherever you listen to podcasts! We're planning a Q&A ep...

This episode addresses parenting and discipline using pain and physical punishment.  The research is very clear about how physical punishment alters brain structures and functioning and causes kids to feel unsafe and as though they have to survive these interactions. If you're not clear on typical chlidhood brain development, start here ! Spanking may lead to short term behavior change but do...

This episode talks through really challening behaviors including biting, hitting, and spitting.  Most of us understand this behavior is somewhat normal but often don't know how to respond in a way that is helpful. If you're not familiar with typical childhood brain development, go back and listen to this episode . This is important when thinking about many of the negative behaviors our k...

This episode talks through a really sensitive subject, and Beka and Leah do their best to have an honest conversation about the challenges of being a single parent, and how to navigate some of those situations. If abuse is happening in your relationship, your children know more than you think they do, and there is very clear research about the impact this can have on children. Until everyone is sa...

Parents often ask if they should let their kids quit sports, clubs, lessons, etc. We fear that if we let them quit they'll be quitters forever and never learn to work hard. In this episode, Leah and Beka talk through their thoughts on this and ways to teach these skills. All skills are taught: Gradually over time Through Multiple repetitions With Several different inputs It's important,...

When our kids fight with one another it can be so draining and super challenging to know what to do in those moments. This episode talks through ideas for how to intervene and help our kids develop skills. Our kids' first exposure to developing social skills is their relationship with their siblings. This gives them the opportunity to practice their skills in conflict resolution,  apologizing...

Mental health has been thrust into the national conversation over the last few weeks, often leading to suggestions, ideas, and conclusions from people who do not work in the field and have no experience with the system. This episode does not involve much about parenting, but Leah provides some education and insight into the system and possible solutions moving forward. There is a difference betwee...

It's been a really challenging week for all of us, and many of us are questioning how to talk to our kids about some of the really hard things going on in our world. This episode talks through some of those concerns and gives some thoughts and suggestions on how to approach this. Like most things, the degree to which you talk to your kids about certain topics or situations depends on their ag...

These statistics about our kids' relationship with food and their bodies are heartbreaking, and led Beka and Leah to talk about food and how to use different tools to promote healthy relationships with food, body autonomy, and interoception.  It's important that we don't use food to motivate, reward, or soothe our kids, so those messages don't get hard wired as they enter adole...

As parents, we often beat ourselves up when we experience a rupture in our relationship with our children. This episode explores the idea that ruptures are inevitable and can even be healthy for relationships, because they give us opportunities for repair. Attunement is one of the main goals in this type of parenting, and according to Dan Siegel, "when we attune with others we allow our own i...

We all want to raise honest kids and when they lie it can be really hard to know how to respond or what to do! Lying is a very normal part of child development and there are lots of reasons they engage in this type of behavior. Here are some reasons kids are dishonest: 1. They can't separate fantasy from reality 2. They're trying to relate to others 3. They're projecting their feeli...

This episode covers a listener question about how to stay calm and regulated when our kids trigger us, including trauma triggers. It's first important to differentiate typical triggers that bother us as parents and those that are related to traumatic memories.  Typical behaviors that challenges us as parents include whining, hitting, throwing things, etc. and we talk through some ideas on how...

This has been the most asked question we've ever received: How do I get my partner/spouse on board with this style of parenting? Research has demonstrated there are generally four different types of parenting , based on differing levels of demandingness and responsiveness. Research has also shown that an authoritative style of parenting generally leads to the most positive outcomes in our chi...

In this episode we answer all your potty training questions! Potty training can be confusing and overwhelming as a parent, and something that can lead to judgment from others if our kids don't do it at the "right" time." The average age kids are potty trained is 27 months, but is typical anytime between 18 months and 3 years old. It's important to wait to see some signs th...

Separation anxiety is a normal developmental stage for kids, usually peaking around 18 months and resolving between the age of 2-3. Sometimes kids struggle with separation for a longer period of time or in ways that make it difficult to leave them regularly. In this episode, Beka and Leah talk through ways our kids struggle with separation, ways to help them work through that process, and the impo...

In this episode we talk through the importance of sleep for us and our kids, and how to promote better sleep habits. Sleep hygiene is important to set the stage for positive sleep behaviors and prepare our minds and bodies for sleep, making that transition a little easier. This includes monitoring food and drink intake before bed, limiting screens, and making sure beds are only used for sleeping;...

Tantrums can be one of the most challenging things to manage as a parent. They seem to come out of nowhere and can feel almost impossible to stop. This episode talks through some of the science behind tantrums and what parents can do to try to manage them a little better! It's important to remember that tantrums are a healthy, normal part of a child's development. They allow young childr...

In this episode we talk through perfectionism, anxiety, and school pressures. The way we react to our kids as it relates to grades, performance, and school sends subtle messages about how e value those things and what it means if our kids perform well or struggle in these areas. If kids believe that their performance is tied to their worth, then problems can lead to shame and other negative reacti...

Schools often struggle to implement discipline in a way we would support, and it's challenging as a parent to know how to advocate for our kids in their classrooms and with their teachers. In this episode, we respond to a text message from a mom seeking help in how to approach her daughter's teacher and address some concerning discipline practices. Using food to manage behavior can creat...

In this episode, Leah uses relationships depicted on Cheer to illustrate how attachment patterns show up in adolesence and early adulthood. Children with attachment disruptions early in life often grow into adolescents and young adults who struggle to trust reciprocal, intimate relationships. This can lead to them running from the relationship, making accusations, and avoiding any semblence of con...

In this episode, Beka and Leah talk about the goals we have as parents, and how our response to our kids either align with those goals or not. If we can start to view our kids' behavior as an opportunity we have to teach them new skills, as opposed to think their behavior is bad, annoying, etc. we can respond differently and create improvements. There are lots of sports analogies in this one,...