Paradox Outta Da Box

Most people assumption that the process of therapy is ‘hard work’ – that inevitably takes a lot of time and a lot of effort. The analogy of ‘pushing a car up a long hill’ is often used to describe how therapy works. If the client keeps pushing and pushing, then eventually he will reach the top of the mountain. The conventional wisdom is that with months and years of constant effort, he will eventu...

For the most part, the field of psychology has attempted to change patterns of behavior by targeting the behavior itself. This is the focus of Behavioral therapy through rewards and punishment, as well as rational or cognitive approaches that appeal to linear logic to influence a change in behavior. And even psychodynamic approaches will delve into one's history to identify the root cause of a beh...

There are some physicians who believe that anxiety is due to a ‘valium deficiency’… In our fast paced and unpredictable world, it is quite common for people to experience some degree of anxiety. In feeling anxiety a person wants to jump out of his skin in an effort to get 2 steps ahead of himself. Anxiety is also related to feeling alone, abandoned, and disconnected in the world. Panic attacks are...

The opposite of addiction is not ‘sobriety’ rather it is ‘connection’. Essentially when people experience trauma, their experience around the lack of connection feels too painful. As a way to escape the pain, people turn to ways that let them ‘zone out, tune out, and numb out’. Sometimes avoiding the pain becomes a full time job. This is when people become addicted to various substances or repetit...

The advantage of EFT is that by focusing on client emotions we are able to bypass the ‘linear and logical’ defenses of the conscious mind. Since emotions are neither ‘right nor wrong’, couples are better able to share their feelings without the need to be defensive. This in turn allows partners to feel closer as they each feel more seen and understood. The therapist’s role is often paradoxical as...

The past is yesterday and the future is tomorrow. So the reality of life is we only have today. The better a person can be present in the here & now, the more fully he is able to live. This means that real change and growth can only happen in the ‘here & now’. Fritz Perls (Gestalt Therapy) spoke about past trauma as “unfinished business”. He notes that we don’t have to ‘dig into the person...

In this episode we see the 2 follow up sessions (Videos 2 and 3) and the outcome of the intervention. By shifting attachment in a non-threatening way, the boys take it upon themselves to undo problematic behavior. As the therapist, Dr. Kaplan is the catalyst for change, but the boys get full credit for taking control of their impulses. In addition we talk about other absurd type interventions that...

Many schools struggle with the problem of bullying. Often the plan is to punish the 'behavior' so the child will stop. The hope is that by bringing in his parents or threatening school suspension, this will solve the problem. This video takes a completely different turn. It explores the power and counter-intuitive nature of pdxi in addressing teen sexual bullying in a group setting with ad...

Therapists agree that underlying anxiety is at the core of OCD. Underlying abandonment and fear of isolation often cause a person to form an OCD behavior that attempts to soothe the anxiety. However such OCD behavior can be debilitating as it can affect relationships with family and work partners. In this video we discuss how emboldening the therapeutic alliance is a way to help the client feel ac...

Video 22 - Humor in therapy How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb? Answer: One. But the lightbulb has to really really want to change!... The best therapy is not always linear and logical. Sometimes in countering clients who are 'stuck in a rut', it works best to offer 'absurd' solutions to their problems. The idea here is not to 'make fun of the client', b...

21 Imposter Syndrome - It is not uncommon for therapists to have a nagging sense of 'Imposter Syndrome'. We are often reminded by the media, school teachers, parents, the medical profession, etc. that our 'job' is to get kids, teenagers, and beyond to change their behavior. Unfortunately the reality is that it is an impossible task to change someone else's behavior. For therapi...

Many therapists assume that it's their job to help the client change behavior. As a result many get stressed out and disappointed when their client(s) do not follow their agenda. However, the absolute reality is that it is impossible to change someone else's behavior. And that is because the client is in control of his own body.  In pdxi, we focus on attachment, bonding, and strengthening...

When couples and family therapy is successful, many therapists often don't know what turned the tide. The answer is simple. The couple / family felt the therapist joined and accepted them. By 'entering' into the family, the therapist changes the dynamic of the whole system, which thereby allows individuals to spontaneously change without being convinced, instructed, or rewarded. Within...

Of course Pdxi is counter-intuitive, but is it really possible to treat an Eating Disorder without focusing on eating and food?! And the answer is a definite 'Yes!' Eating and food are the surface issue we all see, but underneath abandonment and isolation are running the show. This is the advantage of Pdxi - not to get side-tracked by behavior. This is also recognized as part of man's...

Therapies that assume that growth should happen with the child, but not the parents start out with a flawed premise. Healthy change means that everyone grows. In pdxi there is awareness that for successful change the parent-child system, as a whole, is the target of treatment. As it turns out, children tend to seek attention - to the point that negative attention is better than no attention. With...

IFS is a therapy about 'parts' which gives us something specific to integrate and resolve. But Pdxi focuses on the alliance - which has nothing to integrate or resolve. Yet the ultimate goal of IFS is to bring resolution - to the degree that there is nothing to resolve. Therefore IFS and pdxi are compatible! Did you catch that?  We also explore a case example on treating selective mutism....

Fast talk is often a defense against feeling one's emotions. We discussed the 'pillow technique' as a non-verbal intervention. Therapists are concerned that the client may feel 'mocked' by this intervention. But more often the client is surprised and curious by what the therapist is doing. The work with the fast talking client is to help them feel safe. This often means to keep...

James Masterson MD idententified abandonment depression as a core BPD issue. There is no such thing as 'terminating treatment' with a borderline. The answer to ending treatment is to bring in more people and services so that the client will feel less dependent on one therapist to provide for all their needs. BPD are known to fall in love with their therapist. It can be helpful to remind th...

Borderlines like being in the 'driver's seat'. Sometimes they will take information you shared with them - and turn it against you. A main issue with BPD is severe underlying abandonment. This makes it very difficult for them to develop trusting relationships. It is almost like they have a 'developmental lag' in being able to relate. This why it is important for the therapist t...

Therapist or Client? It is not uncommon for clients to try and take control of therapy as a way to protect themselves. We offered a role-play to show how the therapist can interrupt client attempts to stay in control. We discussed a case example: 'Father lectures his Kids'.  In addition, we followed up with our volunteer who PROCRASTINATES.

The intent of pdxi is to take away the client's underlying sense of loneliness and isolation. When treatment is successful in doing this, behavior will shift spontaneously. In Pdxi, we try not to offer solutions to the client's problems. Rather the focus is to help the client DISCOVER his own solutions. When this happens, he is more likely to follow through on his own idea. During the vide...

Cranky time with Daddy In effort to change kid, most therapy focuses on the parents Aren't you mocking the client?! Is Therapist willing to challenge his own limits? When do we need parental permission? Video - Reid Wilson - Mirroring client Propaganda in psychology PDXI influences therapist to grow too. Learning about client by imitating their mannerisms "I'm feeling left out...&quot...

Orbits-Gravity phenomena is the scientific basis for all natural sciences. Orbits represent repetitive cycles of behavior as seen in addiction issues, mental health, repetitive criminal behavior, and couple / family conflict. The solar model 'flattens'  orbits so we can more easily track patterns of repetitive behavior. We explore a case involving selective mutism, Therapy removes any expe...

Although not known for paradoxical interventions, Carl Rogers is the original paradox guy. CRogers seems to do nothing, and personifies the pdxi method as being a therapy about nothing, In addition we 'deconstruct' CBT in an effort to explain why it works. We also address an OCD intervention encouraging the client to increase checking from 5x to 10x. This is an absurd suggestion however hu...

As therapists we hope to provide services that allow clients to grow. However sometimes clients may become triggered by their history and take their anger out on the therapist. The podcast will look at 'habitual anger', as well as ways to predict patterns or 'waves' of anger. Sometimes a client can get angry if he concludes that the therapist is trying to trick him with 'revers...