Podmasters

Paper Cuts

News EN ↓ 387 episodes

Have you SEEN the state of the papers today? PAPER CUTS has. In our thrice weekly podcast, some of Britain’s sharpest commentators and funniest comedians come together to look at the madness, the strangeness, the obsessions, and – occasionally – the brilliance of our national press. Host Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalists and comedians like Jonn Elledge, Grainne Maguire, Jacob Jarvis, Ava Santina, Jacob Hawley, Marcus Brigstocke, Coco Khan and many more. Illustrations by Modern Toss: https://moderntoss.com

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Episodes

Judge orders Epstein friends to be named – plus, Times goes all-in on “rizz” and “the ick” 20.12.2023 41:28

We read the papers so you don’t have to. On today’s edition: Nonce upon a time. US Judge says names can be revealed in the Epstein case and the papers are salivating. Rizzky Business. The papers are tackling the big issues, such as who had the most Rizz in 2023? Plus – Lists give us the Ick... The Times list of icks has us perplexed. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Jonn Elledge of the New S...

Marvel star fired for assault – plus, Miss France in “woke hair” kerfuffle? 19.12.2023 30:00

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Putting the villain in super villain. The papers react to Marvel star Jonathan Majors’ assault conviction and subsequent sacking by Disney/Marvel. Bad Hair Day? Miss France is won by a contestant with short hair for the first time ever and the papers are stunned. Plus – Hey big spender! Bank Monzo has the receipts for your spending this year… literal...

Tory peer Mone admits she lied about £60m PPE profits – plus Posh Scrooge mum who’s not buying ANY presents this year 18.12.2023 40:17

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Baroness Bra busted. Tory Peer Michelle Mone admits she lied to the press about COVID PPE. Bragging Season. The Guardian knows what you should boast about this year. Plus – Cruising in a Winter Wonderland. Tom Cruise and his girlfriend Elsina’s disguises for Winter Wonderland couldn’t fool the Sun. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Holly Thomas...

Vapes of Wrath: Dirty tricks of Big Tobacco exposed – plus Lost Brit boy found in French mountains… and it’s all a bit weird 15.12.2023 39:24

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Up In Smoke. Scoop as Times exposes Big Tobacco funding dodgy science to promote vaping. I’m A Kid, Get Me Home From Here! Long lost Oldham kid found in Southern France and the details are stranger than you think. Plus – Adopt a banker for Christmas! The Telegraph says white middle-class rich guys are an endangered species so we’re raising money to b...

Bonk to the future! The Sun has the sex obsessions of 2024 – plus, Have the middle classes ruined Christmas? 14.12.2023 37:55

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Gold, Frankincense and meh… The Telegraph tells us how the middle class has ruined Christmas. Women! Know your place! The Mail’s Femail section is in a rage about mums who want time off for Christmas. Plus – Fancy a bit of “gooning”? The Sun reveals the sex words of tomorrow and we’re not convinced… Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by comedy writer Jaso...

The insane life of Tom Cruise’s new Russian girlfriend – plus, Rwanda Rishi’s close shave 13.12.2023 32:50

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: They think it’s all over. It is… for now. Sunak narrowly survives Tory Rwanda rebellion and the papers are surprised. Mission Improbable. Tom Cruise is dating a high-maintenance Russian lady and we’re big fans of her preposterous life. Plus – Fear the Feline. The Guardian proves once and for all that cats are evil. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journal...

Rishi rattled over Rwanda and COVID inquiry – plus Zara puts Gaza campaigners in a rage 12.12.2023 36:13

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Rebels without a clue. Sunak’s on the ropes, both wings of the Tory party are rebelling… and the PM’s forgotten how to use a phone. Hate couture. Fashion giant Zara’s new photo campaign provokes angry backlash from Gaza protestors. Plus, Turning the air blue. There’s far more swearing on the TV than there used to be, the Times is outraged… and even D...

Could jungle snake Farage really take over the Tories? – plus, The best of the celeb interviews: Sex, lies… and ceramics? 11.12.2023 38:26

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: I’m an egomaniac, get me out of here! Nigel Farage comes a not-very-impressive third on I’m A Celebrity but the right-wing press are still besotted. Bad Marriages for Life. We fillet bonkers blockbuster celebrity interviews with Jada Pinkett Smith, Julianne Moore and Bryan Adams in the Observer and Mail. Plus – Yule be back. The Times knows how to ma...

Lying and Crying: Boris disgraces himself again – plus, Christmas carols crisis at The Guardian! 08.12.2023 30:55

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Tory meltdown on all fronts. Boris blows it at the COVID Inquiry while the Party starts to tear itself apart, again. Not-so-silent night. The Guardian ranks the best and worst Christmas carols and we’re perplexed. Plus – Catch that spider and peel me an orange. The Telegraph digs out the tiny acts of love that keep couples together. Miranda Sawyer i...

Braverman restarts the Tory Civil War – plus, Is Taylor Swift really the Person of the Year? 07.12.2023 39:18

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Tories are revolting. Braverman torpedoes Sunak, Immigration Minister Jenrick stages a flounce and the press is loving it. Boris in the hot seat… The former PM gives evidence to the Covid Inquiry and the papers aren’t impressed. Person Of The Year (Taylor’s Version). Taylor Swift is Time Magazine’s person of the year, but who else is in that part...

Boris gets his COVID excuses in early – plus, Is this Britain’s worst Christmas display? 06.12.2023 33:59

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: A plague on his house. It’s Johnson’s turn to give evidence to the Covid Inquiry, and the Bojo Press are covering for him like crazy. Can you booze like a boomer? The i paper makes its Gen Z writer drink two whole vodka and lemonades… with catastrophic results. Plus – Winter Blunderland. The search for Britain’s most pathetic Christmas displays is GO...

Episode 100! What’s “Rizz” and have you got it? – plus, Brit wins World Mullet Championship 05.12.2023 37:05

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Cyber Tuesday! Government advice for cyber attacks? Stock up on candles. Rizzky Business… The word of the year has been announced, and the papers are perplexed. Plus – The Mane Man. Plucky Brit wins international Mullet competition, and the tabloids have the details. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist and author Alex von Tunzelmann and comedy wri...

Does Starmer really love Thatcher? – plus How to handle Christmas hell 04.12.2023 36:11

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: We wish you a Maggie Christmas? Starmer tries to woo Conservative voters by invoking Thatcher in the Telegraph. Squiffy Season. The secret to a fun Christmas is.. staying sober? Plus – Ice can’t believe it… Why don’t the broadsheets care about the snow in the north? Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Jonn Elledge of the New Statesman and comedian...

Kissinger, Shane MacGowan, Alistair Darling, Jimmy Corkhill – They’re with the angels now 01.12.2023 34:29

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Day of the dead. The papers are filled with obituaries to Henry Kissinger, Shane MacGowan, Alistair Darling and Dean “Jimmy Corkhill” Sullivan. Hancock-up. Former health secretary Matt Hancock’s embarrassing day at the Covid inquiry. Plus – Snoop dogging. A private investigator tells the i how to tell if your partner is cheating. Miranda Sawyer is jo...

Why is the BBC trashing Newsnight? – plus Johnnies Rotten! Horrible contraceptives from history 30.11.2023 36:10

It’s just about still Black Friday with 10% off our merch at Podmarket.co.uk We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: A chorus of condomnation. The Guardian dives into the gory history of contraception. Less News, more Night. The BBC cuts Newsnight and the Times has the details. Plus – Emoji representation matters. A kid’s campaign to change the 🤓emoji gets the press all 🧐🤔🤨. Host Andr...

Did Conor McGregor spark a riot? – Plus, How swinging could save your marriage 29.11.2023 38:06

It’s still Black Friday with 10% off our merch at Podmarket.co.uk We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Dublin Riots. What did Conor McGregor have to do with last week’s chaos in Dublin? Sunak’s eco-chamber. Panicky PM comes up with emergency green ideas just in time for COP28. Plus – Swing When You’re Winning. Confessions of a middle-class swinger in The Telegraph. Host Miranda Sawyer...

Rishi loses his marbles – plus Poshos in poverty cosplay 28.11.2023 33:42

It’s still Black Friday with 10% off our merch at Podmarket.co.uk We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Acropolis now! Sunak falls out with the Greek PM over the Parthenon marbles. And so this is Christmas.. or is it? The papers are divided over whether it’s still too early to get festive. Plus – Peasant Valley Sunday. Posh people are dressing up as simple country folk for some reason an...

Harry and Meghan book dishes new Royal dirt – Plus are you a Stop The Boats Steve or a Remainer Ruth? 27.11.2023 36:35

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Rishi being fishy? Suella says Sunak broke his immigration promises to her and the Telegraph has the receipts. Reign it in… How come Harry and Meghan come off unscathed in Omid Scobie’s new book of Royal revelations? Plus – It’s Mondeo Man all over again. The Telegraph searches for comforting stereotypes about the voters who will decide the next elec...

King Charles pockets charity cash – Plus, AI boffins drop an apocalyptic clanger 24.11.2023 31:48

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Dead rich. The Guardian reveals how the monarch makes money from dead citizens' assets. The Numbers are in! The Net Migration numbers came out and the papers are in a tizz. Plus – It’s the end of the world as we know it. AI might finish us off sooner than we’re expecting – thanks, boffins! Rob Hutton is joined by journalist Holly Thomas and comedian...

Papers in a spin over Hunt’s budget – Plus, Scourge of the TikTok snitches 23.11.2023 36:13

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Budget smugglers! The papers are all spinning Jeremy Hunt’s autumn statement. Gossipers exposed! The latest TikTok trend has people sharing strangers’ secrets – and the papers are all over it. Plus – Better bonking for a happier britain. The Guardian is ready to fix your sex life. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist and author Jonn Elledge and com...

Desperate Tories' tax gamble – plus, Confessions of a middle-class shoplifter 22.11.2023 32:49

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Hunt and the giant speech. Ahead of his autumn statement Chancellor Jeremy Hunt is trailing tax reform in the papers. This isn’t just shoplifting, this is M&S shoplifting. Middle class shoplifting is on the rise and the Telegraph has the scoop. Plus – You snooze, you lose! Guardian readers have novel ways of getting some sleep. Miranda Sawyer is join...

How Sunak’s slap-up scheme spread the virus – plus, The sex lives of bats revealed 21.11.2023 33:34

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Eat out to help… the virus? The papers reveal how Sunak’s flagship policy supercharged the second wave of Covid. Red Red Wine… ‘“Boffins” figure out why red wine gives us the worst hangovers. Plus – Well hung. The i paper has identified a well-endowed species of bat and the Guardian goes deeper. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Rob Hutton of th...

Tories waste £100 billion – plus Pablo Escobar’s cocaine hippos 20.11.2023 39:17

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: So much waste, man. The papers reveal Sunak’s government has wasted over £100 billion. Who owns the news… Is Abu Dhabi about to buy the Telegraph? Plus – Coked up! Pablo Escobar’s pet hippos are causing trouble in Columbia. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Jonn Elledge of the New Statesman and comedian Ian Smith of the Northern News Podcast. S...

Hunt’s mad meds ban for jobless – plus Men in “no mates” shocker 17.11.2023 37:05

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Find a job or lose your free prescriptions. Rwanda’s a flop so the Government casts about for something cruel to entertain the angry aged. The Times has the scoop. Men need mates. The i paper reckons there’s a shortage of male friendship, and they’ve got solutions. Plus Kate’s a mood! The Mail’s got the key to the Princess of Wales’s emotions: the co...

Rwanda fans rage at Rishi – plus Di’s ghost gives Royals PR tips 16.11.2023 34:23

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Rwan-don’t even think about it! The papers are all over the Supreme Court slapping down Sunak’s deportation plan. Royal Rumble. As the new season of The Crown looms, the Telegraph’s fact checkers have the receipts. Plus – Faux Fashion? Pass. Men need styling too, and the Telegraph has got all the tips. Miranda Sawyer is joined by Chris Lochery of Pop...