Paper Cuts

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Coming up in a Rash. Footballer Marcus Rashford’s twelve-hour tequila bender has the press in a tizz. Mind blowing. Elon Musk puts a chip in a human brain and we don’t fancy it. Plus – Total swipe-out. One of our fave sex columnists is binning dating apps. Is she MAD? Miranda Sawyer is joined by The Bunker Podcast host Jacob Jarvis and comedian Kyrah...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Blank Space on the Ballot. Republican headbangers are convinced Taylor Swift is going to swing the presidential election. Tory-on-Tory attacks increase. The Guardian exposes Michael Gove and Kemi Badenoch’s ‘Evil Plotters’ WhatsApp group. Plus – Can’t bear it! US boffins are closer to the truth of Bigfoot than ever. Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by j...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Dad’s Barmy. Boris Johnson says he’ll sign up to the army if conscription happens. Love rat latest. Man City star Kyle Walker apologises to wife after affair – via the front page of The Sun. Plus – Man up. The Telegraph tells women to act like men to relieve their stress. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Rob Hutton of The Critic and comedian Ia...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: I swear to you, I’m faithful! It’s The Traitors final tonight and the press can hardly contain itself. Freezing that Mone. A court has frozen £75 million worth of Michelle Mone’s assets. Plus – What’ll the neighbours think? Oscar nominee Cillian Murphy’s family are the most Irish parents ever. Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by journalist Jonn Elledge...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Post traumatic. Turns out there’s another software scandal at the Post Office. What went wrong with ‘Capture’? La petite mort. Woman married for 35 years had five children but never had an orgasm. The Daily Mail has the scoop. Plus – Undelivered male! Paper Cuts hero Simon Mills of The Times on how men sneakily lean into their own uselessness.   Mira...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Can we have a refund? The Tories might be about to change leader again and the press can hardly contain itself. Where did the generals keep his armies? British public to be called up in event of war with Russia, says army chief. Plus – Make it a long read! How to write a Guardian feature featuring a Guardian feature writer. Miranda Sawyer is joined b...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Trump Card. Republican candidate Nikki Haley has a big night ahead if she’s going to beat Donald Trump to the nomination. We don’t want your woke trees. The Daily Mail is angry at Keir Starmer for backing the National Trust. Plus – Don’t let the dogs out! Pandemic pooches really do behave worse. Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by journalist Holly Thoma...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Why is measles back? Fewer kids are being vaccinated and the Mail has questions to answer. The new Evita! The papers are obsessed with the Argentinian President’s glam girlfriend. Plus – Women, get better at stuff! You’re doing it all wrong again, ladies, but don’t worry, the papers have lots of advice. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist and host...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Royally Driven. Amazing scenes as man drives car to see his wife in hospital. Reasons to be Cheerful. The Guardian asks if you can fill your life with joy in just 7 minutes a day. (Spoiler: no).  Plus – Like A Virgin. His Horniness the Pope says sexual pleasure is a gift from God and the tabloids are shocked. Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by journali...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Royal health mysteries. Press panic as King Charles and Princess Kate in hospitals for separate operations. Baby cages and toddler straitjackets. The Guardian reveals the history of childcare and it’s grotty. Plus – Platty moobs! Male cleavage is the new men’s style trend, say Fashion Week watchers. Miranda Sawyer is joined by TLDR News lead writer B...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Sunak suffers worst revolt yet. Infamous “30p Lee” Anderton strops off. How fast will the Tories fall apart over Rwanda? Nibble and squeak. The Guardian reveals the secret life of rats and we’re fascinated. Plus – Many, many, many happy returns. Kate Moss’s birthday celebrations enter their umpteenth week. Miranda Sawyer is joined by comedian Marcus...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Return of the Don. Trump wins the Iowa caucus. Just how monumental was his victory? What's in a name? The Daily Mail is furious that Harry and Meghan ‘stole’ the Queen’s nickname for daughter Lillibet. Plus – X Marx the spot. The Telegraph says you can be buried next to Karl Marx, for just £25k.  Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by The Bunker host Jacob...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Total wipeout! Major poll indicates the Conservatives would be obliterated in an election – and the press are in a tizz. X-tasy. Elon Musk allegedly takes psychedelics regularly. Does it matter? Plus – Plant-Based Sausage! The Times reports that a University of Wisconsin Chancellor has been making vegan porn on the side. Miranda Sawyer is joined by j...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Escalation in the Middle east. US and UK bomb Houthi rebel military locations in Yemen, catching the papers flat-footed. Indoor glamping? London AirBnB in Chinatown offers a literally in-tents experience. Plus Fake bargains on your feed. Those Instagram ads aren’t actually great deals, says Guardian exposé. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Jonn...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Justice in 3-5 business days. As the Post Office scandal rumbles on, are the Government’s plans for redress enough? I’ve over-Eton. Posh private school’s sewers are overflowing and the papers are gleeful. Plus – Women! Sort yourselves out! It’s Thursday and that means the papers telling their female readers what bad people they are. Miranda Sawyer is...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Post Office scandal spreads. Turns out IT company Fujitsu earned billions in public money even after the disaster was exposed. Why did Sunak do nothing? Fake love on the internet. The Times has the scoop on romance scammers who swindle people out of thousands. Plus – Guardian Sole-mates. Foot-fetish Guardianista’s love life kicks the bucket. Mira...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Epstein sex tapes latest. Jeffrey Epstein’s alleged sex tapes have everyone talking, but do they actually exist? Mystery meat. Piles of meat are appearing in Stockport. Seriously. What’s going on? Plus – Gurning down the house. Is “face yoga” the secret to infinite youth? The Guardian investigates. Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by journalist Holly Th...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Post Traumatic. Why does it take an ITV drama to make the press and Government pay attention to the Post Office scandal? Help! The Aged! OAP social media influencers are beating Gen Z personalities in the battle for clout. Squeaky clean. The mouse that tidies up. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Rob Hutton of The Critic and comedy writer Jason...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Epstein Files released. Who’s on the list of names from Virginia Guiffre’s defamation case against Jeffery Epstein? And is it final bad news for Prince Andrew? Beauty is pain. The Guardian reveals old beauty remedies and we don’t recommend them. Plus – Crying (with happiness) at the discotheque. Tiktok has revived Sophie Ellis Bextor and we couldn’t...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Dartbroken! Luke Littler’s incredible Ally Pally run comes to an end and the papers will never recover. New Year, New Keir. Can Starmer get the press onside? Plus – Spa Wars. The papers react as Captain Tom’s memorial health farm faces demolition.  Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by journalist Rob Hutton of the Critic and comedian Fin Taylor. Support P...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Seeking asylum seekers. Sunak says 100,000 asylum cases have been sorted, but the numbers don’t add up. Zero missed calls. A Guardian journalist tries to break his phone addiction by… spending an enormous amount of time on it? Plus – Taking the Mickey. The original Steamboat Mickey Mouse is out of copyright and the papers are fascinated. Miranda Sawy...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Bullseye! Teen wonderkid Luke Littler is through to the World Dart Championship semi-final. The Scenic Route. Cargo ships are diverting from the Red Sea due to attacks – and the i has the scoop. Plus – Steam roller, The Guardian tells the story of superstar DJ Rob da Bank’s mission to make the Isle of Wight the UK’s sauna capital. Miranda Sawyer is j...

We’ve read the papers so you didn’t have to, and we’re wrapping up our yearly review.  Today, September to December: He’s Don it Again.. President Trump is convicted and indicted in numerous different civil and criminal cases and the press were all over it. Rebel Rebel! Suella Braverman is sacked as home secretary and Tory infighting gets dirtier. Plus – Mask off moment. What have we learnt from t...

This year, we read the papers so you didn’t have to. Here’s the second part of our year in review.  Today, May to August: God Save Us From The King’s Coronation. Prince Charles moaned through his long awaited promotion. This Morning has Broken. The UK is thrown into chaos as Philip Schofield steps down from ITV’s This Morning. Plus – Clown leaves the circus. Boris Johnson resigns as an MP before p...

This year, we read the papers so you didn’t have to. Here’s the first part of our year in review.  Today, January to April: New Year, Same Rishi. Sunak unveiled his five pledges, how’s that gone for him? Sturgeon under Scrutiny. The Scottish first minister resigned in March unexpectedly… or so we thought. Plus – Own Goal. Impartiality row erupts over Gary Lineker’s use of social media. Miranda Saw...