Owen Croft Filth

This ain’t your grandpappy’s Western. SHITHAWK is a rancid, blood-soaked fever dream of the real 1878 frontier—the one the postcards burned and the songs forgot. No white-hat heroes, no virtuous widows, no noble last words under a blood-red sunset. Just dust, dysentery, and the kind of miracles that leave you bleeding, laughing, and questioning every life choice that brought you here. Follow Silas...

WARNING: Contains explicit language, royal filth, and zero smelling salts    Dive into the INTRODUCTION of Tarquin the 3rd: The Royal, the Corgis Refused to Lick   The darkest, filthiest "biography" you'll ever hear (because reading it might require therapy and a stiff brandy).    Meet Tarquin Archibold Barnaby Wilfred the Third: dumped at birth in a black bin-liner because his face made the midwi...

Tarquin the Third The Royal, the Corgis Refused to Lick. By Owen Croft   Afterword by Lady Arabella Featherstonehaugh-Cholmondeley, Viscountess of Lower Snodbury, Honorary President of the Society for the Suppression of Vulgarity and Authoress of The Proper Deployment of the Asparagus Tongs in Polite Warfare   This book will be released in early 2026. For updates, sign up to Owen Croft's Filthy Di...

Tarquin the Third The Royal, the Corgis Refused to Lick. By Owen Croft   Foreword by Sir Reginald Bentinck-Fitzmaurice, OBE, Royal Literary Patron and Occasional Equerry to His Majesty   This book will be released in early 2026. For updates, sign up to Owen Croft's Filthy Dispatches  

BumbleCock: The Limp Legend of the Layby   A fucking stupid comedy by Owen Croft   buy the eBook $1.50 on Smashwords.com   Darren "Daz" McFloppy has one dream: to be remembered for something other than his Greggs loyalty card and a Vauxhall Corsa held together by hope and cable ties.   Unfortunately, the only one part of him ever gets remembered—and it's the part that refuses to stand up when it m...

Crisis on a Biscuit FREE eBook How Britain Went from Empire to Empire State of Total Bastard Collapse   By Big Bastard Bob (Owen Croft) – a six-foot-four Barnsley bastard who's proper had enough   This isn't a book. It's a full-blown Yorkshire heart attack on paper.   Big Bastard Bob (ex-pit, ex-foundry, ex-give-a-shit) has watched this country go from ruling half the bloody map to not being able...

Crisis on a Biscuit    Intro   We’ll cover the lot:   Pensions that vanish faster than a politician’s principles   An NHS that couldn’t cure a paper cut   Benefits that reward the idle and punish the grafters   Roads that look like the surface of the moon   Bills that make your eyes water harder than a raw onion   Farmers taxed till they’re sellin’ the family silver (or the family farm)   Free spe...

Crisis on a Biscuit FREE eBook , download today from Smashwords How Britain Went from Empire to Empire State of Total Bastard Collapse   By Big Bastard Bob (Owen Croft) – a six-foot-four Barnsley bastard who's proper had enough   This isn't a book. It's a full-blown Yorkshire heart attack on paper.   Big Bastard Bob (ex-pit, ex-foundry, ex-give-a-shit) has watched this country go from ruling half...

A Bloke's Guide to Saving Money : How to Be Skint, Stingy and Strangely Satisfied By Owen Croft – the same cantankerous, twice-divorced, sofa-duct-tape enthusiast who wrote The Blokes Cook Book Buy the eBook today on Smashwords Listen up, you glorious tight-fisted heathen. This isn't some shiny-suited, latte-sipping finance prick telling you to cancel Netflix and invest in avocado futures. This is...