Our TFMR Stories | Our decisions, our grief, real true parent stories

The numbers around TFMR might surprise you and hopefully comfort you too. In this episode, Sabrina Fletcher (hi there, that's me, the TFMR Doula) shares an unofficial but conservative estimate: TFMR happens in approximately 1 in 55 pregnancies. 😲 Surprised? I was too. And here's the thing: even that number is likely low when you factor in TFMR for maternal health, TFMR for mental health,...

If you've ever searched for pregnancy loss support and felt invisible when TFMR isn't mentioned, this episode is for you. Sabrina Fletcher (that’s me, The TFMR Doula) gets real about what it means when baby loss spaces claim to be "for all" but never list termination for medical reasons alongside miscarriage and stillbirth. She shares practical suggestions for grief spaces that w...

"Do I belong here?" is the question that breaks my heart every time someone asks. If you're wondering whether your TFMR counts, whether your situation is "too different" to fit in our community, whether you'll be welcome here...this episode is for you. The truth is, the world has already made you question your place in so many spaces. Not here. Here, you belong. Whether...

“Will my baby suffer?" This question haunts so many of us through the TFMR baby loss process - whether we're facing the decision right now or wrestling with it months or years later. It's the question that keeps you up at 2am, the one that makes your chest tight, the one nobody else seems to understand why it matters so very deeply. In this tender solo episode, I share how my daughter...

Are you struggling with shame about your TFMR? In Part 2 of 2, Emily Cross opens up about the years she spent lying about her hyperemesis gravidarum TFMR, telling people she miscarried instead of admitting she "chose" abortion. When Emily's third pregnancy resulted in her son Marty, who lived four precious weeks before dying of SIDS, everything changed. Suddenly finding herself in ba...

Are you facing TFMR due to Hyperemesis gravidarum? Emily Cross shares her experience as a mom who survived two life-threatening HG pregnancies - one ending in TFMR, one resulting in a baby who lived four weeks before dying of SIDS. Listen in to hear how ALL our impossible decisions still make us GOOD mothers. Emily's first pregnancy started magical (positive test in Paris on New Year's Eve...

You're not broken if you’re doing all the “right” self-care things and something still feels like it’s missing after TFMR baby loss. If you're still feeling lonely despite all the bubble baths and journaling, there's nothing wrong with you. You're just needing the other half of healing: community care. In this solo episode, I share why individual self-care can only take TFMR grief...

You're not alone in holding impossible questions as a TFMR parent. If you’ve lost a baby to termination for medical reasons and ever found yourself yourself pacing your house asking "am I a monster?" or lying awake wondering "does anyone actually understand?" then this episode is for you. In this episode, I share why these questions can't be answered in isolation and wh...

You might be wondering if you belong in a TFMR grief circle. Maybe you're questioning whether your story fits, whether your diagnosis was "severe enough," or whether you'll connect with other parents who made this impossible choice. The truth is, if you're asking these questions, you probably do belong here. The parents who join our TFMR grief circles share something profound...

When TFMR parents find out about Ascend, they don't ask about the curriculum or the healing frameworks. They ask: "Will there be other people like me? Can I finally say everything out loud? Will someone understand when I talk about my baby?" Other parents like you share what they're most looking forward to in our grief circle: They were about connection in this tough abortion bab...

If the back-to-school season has you feeling like you’re drowning, this episode is for you. If September is hitting you like a freight train of grief, you're not imagining alone. Even if your baby's condition was fatal, even if you live somewhere without fall school starts - this season carries a weight that others can't see. The anger, the longing, the guilt over feeling joy while gri...

When you’re going through your own TFMR grief while trying to protect and support your living children, it can feel impossible to know what's "right." How much do you share? What's too much? What if you say the wrong thing? Jessica Correnti, Certified Child Life Specialist, author and fellow baby loss mom, joins us to talk through the tender territory of supporting surviving siblings after TFMR. I...

Rebecca Little and Colleen Long join us to discuss their powerful book "I'm Sorry for My Loss: An Urgent Examination of Reproductive Care in America." Rebecca and Colleen are two lifelong friends and both journalists who've experienced devastating pregnancy losses. This book is an investigation into why reproductive care in America is so broken; their findings are both heartbreak...

Christina's story is about the fierce love that guides us through impossible choices. When she received her baby Oliver's Trisomy 13 diagnosis, she didn't just face a medical decision. She faced a profound act of mothering that would challenge everything she thought she knew about love, protection, and what it means to care for your child. Christina opens her heart about navigating a f...

Have you ever shamed yourself for not being "further along" or "done" with the "stages of grief"? If so, this episode is for you. Learn the TRUE history of the "5 Stages of Grief" and about a gentle, holistic, and humane alternative grief model - especially important for those of us who have lost a baby in such a tragic and heartbreaking way as abortion termination baby loss. TFMR GRIEF CIRCLE PRO...

Linda Rönn is a TFMR mom and author of “Behind Bulletproof Glass: My Story About Prenatal Testing and Abortion in the United States.” Linda tells her story of the lack of care surrounding TFMR and how taboo the whole process was of going through her loss in the U.S. She also share her cross-cultural observations, comparing the Swedish approach to what happens in the U.S.A. Connect with Linda on IG...

If you feel like you are drowning in guilt, self-blame, and an endless loop of “what ifs" after making the heartbreaking decision to end a wanted pregnancy, this episode is for you. Sabrina Fletcher, the TFMR -Termination For Medical Reasons- pregnancy loss doula, explores why these feelings show up and how they’re rooted in deep love, your desire to be a good parent, and your hunger for true...

On forgiveness and forgiving yourself after TFMR baby loss with Amy Watson. Amy is a certified Life Coach and also a mom who has walked through stillbirth, miscarriage and pregnancy after loss. You may know her from her podcast, Smooth Stones, Find Yourself After Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Baby Loss. Connect with Amy at: Learn more at https://smoothstonescoaching.com https://smoothstonescoaching....

Lacey Castilleja Fisher, Licensed Professional Counselor, Play Therapist Perinatal Mental Health-Certification, talks about how sand tray therapy can help you through the trauma of TFMR baby loss. Lacey runs Open Heart Counseling of Austin, TX and we also talk about the state of perinatal mental health support in Texas. Connect with Lacey at: www.openheartcounselingatx.com FB and IG: @‌openheartco...

Communication ideas for romantic, heterosexual couples after/through baby loss. Laura Amador, a Laura Doyle certified relationship coach shares 3 insightful ways to take care of your grief and bring you closer to your partner. You can find the guide "5 Steps to Reignite Connection in Your Marriage" that Laura Amador mentions in the episode here: https://www.coachlauraamador.com/5steps/?ref=SABRINA...

"I was searching for a community where I could talk to people without feeling judged. A safe space where I didn't have to explain myself." -Amanda, TFMR for rare genetic condition mom shares her story of her time in our Ascend TFMR Grief Circle program. Listen in to hear her TFMR story and how she moved from feeling blame and silenced to fully held and supported through talking part in our online...

In this episode you’ll hear about 3 big hurtful myths/misconceptions about TFMR & how we can take healing into our own hands in the face of so much misunderstanding about our heartbreaking choices. 00:00-Intro 01:56-Myth 1, looking for a perfect pregnancy 04:59-Myth 2, taking the easy way out 14:24-Myth 3, it's just an abortion or it's not really an abortion 23:53-Invitation to the conference...

Tenae Bascherini, pelvic floor and core specialist, shares about the layers of emotional and physical recovery after TFMR. She went through termination for medical reasons herself with her son Kaleo, in the second trimester of pregnancy. We talk about some surprising and seemingly “unrelated to the pelvis” areas of the body where a pelvic floor imbalance may be showing up for you. You can find Ten...

After Ali Emerald lost her baby Paris to TFMR for maternal reasons, she went on to become a somatic embodiment coach to help herself and others work through trauma and grief. Ali’s pregnancy set in motion conditions that led her to need an organ transplant. In this episode we talk about the intersection between disability rights and reproductive justice. You can find her at www.instagram.com/theal...

Erica Rozmid, board certified behavioral psychologist and perinatal mental health certified, also known as TFMR Psychologist on her platforms, shares doable tips for when you are in mental health crisis after TFMR. The skills she generously relays in this episode are just a piece of what she's putting together in a mental health course for those who have had to terminate a wanted pregnancy, follow...