Open + Curious

How can you effectively and gracefully end a conversation while maintaining its value and mutual appreciation? Understand the balance between leaving a conversation fulfilled and seeking more. "I know I didn't even try to get everything [from a conversation] because I know I can't get everything. So it's somehow finding a balance between: "Okay, my cup is full. I should really move away and just r...

What role does dialogue play in fostering a sense of connection and transformation within individuals and communities? Can dialogue itself be more important than the decisions it leads to? "So then I have to ask myself, how do I have to be in the world so that I can create more moments like that for myself? And for others? And what [for] the spaces that I create? When I'm creating spaces for group...

What defines a deep conversation, and how can one recognize or evaluate its depth? Is the depth of a conversation defined by content or the experience? "I feel like it only can be deep if it if it was deep for both of us. Like can you have a conversation— I guess anything's possible. [But,] does it seem realistic to have a conversation where one person thought it was deep? Because I'm saying to my...

Why do we keep talking, and when should we stop? Join Craig and Jesse as they challenge the urge to keep talking and explore the value of silence. "I find that when I can't shut up, it's usually because […] I'm trying to provide more and more and more and more and more and more context. […] it's really a lot about hiding— So I find when I can't shut up, It's because I'm uncomfortable, or I'm afrai...

How can we effectively handle conversations where multiple topics or threads are presented simultaneously, ensuring a balance between active listening, addressing key points, and maintaining conversational flow? Craig Constantine and Jesse Danger explore navigating multiple topics gracefully, leveraging listening as a tool, and the nuanced dance of giving and receiving information. "I often signpo...

Are you heading toward what you already understand or toward your unknown? In a conversation exploring the depths of dialogue and presence, Craig and Jesse delve into the intriguing parallels between Quaker meetings and Gurdjieff groups, revealing how these practices foster a deeply present state of mind, akin to a slow, thoughtful game of chess. "I Think that there's a beautiful edge of curiosity...

What is the difference between adversity and challenge in the context of conversations, and how can one navigate these dynamics to foster curiosity and deeper understanding? Exploring the fine line between adversity and challenge can transform the nature of our conversations. "I agree with everything you're saying. I think from Errol's quote, my first reading, I was like: Well, of course, there ar...

Intentionally engaging until we find it interesting "I can see that my digging into things that didn't seem interesting at first glance, has yielded terrific results: Learning, surprise, and happiness to name just three. And not just for myself, but for others too." It's surprising how many things become interesting once I spend enough time digging in. Often, other people's clear interest is an in...

Choosing a direction towards what you don't know "We want to avoid being drawn toward what we understand. In that direction lies the temptation to summarize and finish." In a conversation we can feel the urge to have a purpose in the form of a goal we are trying to reach, and we can feel the urge to know the path to that goal in the form of questions or topics to explore. These urges arise because...

An actions-based perspective "When something feels off, we can consider which roles are present in the moment. Am I being a mover, and my guest a follower? Or are they perhaps being an opposer?" During a conversation we sometimes sense that it could be better. We might be aware that we are confused, disappointed, or that there's something we should shift to talking about, and yet we cannot figure...

What intention might you try setting for your next conversation? "I don't simply day-dream about my intentions when it's convenient. I consider different intentions, choose explicitly, and then work to carry that intention into a conversation." Our urge to hide influences us in subtle ways. If we feel we can't control another's thinking (in truth we can't, and we know we can't) then our instinct m...

In conversation we can help others be their best selves. "Focusing on these small things frees me from trying to imagine what is the big picture we're creating." There are so many things we could pursue in any conversation: Learning, discovery, helping our partner, even fame. So it's wise to pick something to use as a guide. What we pick, we can then hold quietly in mind as we are listening and th...

Releasing preconceptions can lead to delight. "We have little chance of being creative if we know, or think we know, where things are headed." In conversation we find tension within ourselves from our competing desires to lead and to follow. For genuine connection to develop, we must release our preconceptions of who the other person is, and where the conversation may lead. Read the article… --- H...

Encountering vistas changes us. " “What do we want to create together?” presents a vista. We figuratively stand here and now with our partner, and we look forward to the future." We can change ourselves and our partners in conversation by presenting a vista. Read the article… --- Hello👋 I'm Craig Constantine . You talk with others every day, but how often do you intentionally practice the art of...

Silence can be an active process of giving. "When we choose silence, we're giving the other person our own time to process their thoughts, feelings, and experiences without feeling rushed or judged." Silence is not simply waiting to speak; it can be an active process of giving. There is so much that can be conveyed by silence, and yet so many of us blow right past the opportunities. At a time when...

Getting better at conversation is not just for special conversations. "My goal is simply to make every conversation I have better than yesteryear-me would have done with it." To improve, we have to decide first how we'd like our conversations to be different. Improving our (and those we converse with's) sense of connection is a great place to start. Read the article… --- Hello👋 I'm Craig Constant...

How do we decide which silences to fill? "We should sit with the silence for a few beats when we find ourselves admiring something profound. Profound silence is too rare." It's important to understand what's appearing in our conversation as it happens. We can have a flow of thought between us, or we can have an abrupt stop when something profound is said. A conversation can repeatedly shift betwee...

Hello, I’m Craig Constantine 👋 Welcome to  Open + Curious. I believe that great conversation requires true listening and genuine curiosity. We talk with others every day, but how often do we intentionally practice the art of conversation? I want to show you how to shift from simply having conversations, to actively creating better conversations. I hope you will discover what "better" means f...