Onesies

Emily and Andrew celebrate the final episode of DRACULA: THE SERIES with... an admiration for the episode? Tune in to find out how bad they've got the Stockholm Syndrome, listen as they discuss continuity, scary bad guys, and unlocked castles. AND they announce next season's show!

It's the penultimate episode of season five, which means Emily and Andrew are almost done with DRACULA: THE SERIES! For their coverage of the-second-to-last episode--a clip show--they do an audio commentary because the thought of watching it straight was way too daunting. Listen as they predict all the twists and turns, but do get to see Geordie Johnson get a lot better over time....

Emily and Andrew find the Stockholm Syndrome has entirely set in, just when they're almost done, as they... enjoy?... appreciate?... savor?... the episode. There's some really bad stuff, obviously, but there's also Hot and Steamy Schnitzel and more good(!?!?!) Geordie Johnson Dracula? Dig on in, y'all.

Now decidedly in DTS's "end game," Emily and Andrew discover the series does indeed improve... or at least finds its most successful tone. Listen as they discuss the lack of I LOVE LUCY references, bad CASABLANCA ones, Stephen King zingers, bad acting (of course), and much more.

It's the episode Emily and Andrew really haven't been asking for, but knew was inevitable--the return of "Mr. Perfect" Geraint Wyn Davies. Listen as they discuss new lows in bad acting, why the graveyard guy from episode two can't return, episodes airing out of order, and the intellectual potential of dust mites.

After reminding everyone there are only five more episodes of DRACULA (which requires Andrew to relearn counting), hosts Emily and Andrew dig in and start talking background extras, Luxembourg old folks homes, George Bernard Shaw, and much more.

Emily and Andrew dig into the latest installment of DRACULA's multi-episode arc, which has promptly forgetten the first couple installments, but Emily and Andrew can't. The memories are seared in. Listen as they discuss--once again--adults as the romantic interests for fourteen year-olds, lots of plot, and... better direction?

Emily and Andrew get the episode they'd been waiting for and immediately regret thinking the show could pull it off. Even if Max is less annoying than usual. The other actors more than make up for him. But at least it's not AS creepy as last episode. It's creepy, to be sure. But not AS creepy.

Emily and Andrew are sad to discover Dracula can still surprise them, especially when it involves untrustworthy medical professionals, rare blood diseases, icky groomers, and, of course, "Name that Polka!"

Emily and Andrew find themselves less than tickled with this episode, featuring the initially unwanted return of a guest star from before, only then they turn out to be so much better than anyone else. The saddest part if when our unflappable hosts realize they've got another 9 episodes.

Let's do the time warp again! Or, at least Andrew's convinced these episodes aired out of order (the proof is in the poloraids)! Listen as Emily and Andrew discuss whether or not grown women creeping on teenagers is better or worse when it's not sapphic (but still male gaze-y), Uncle Gustav's terrible vampire hunting, what Canadians talk aboot, and Max's #$%@&ing fedora.

After the episode impresses Emily and Andrew with the ability to pan the camera three whole times, they immediately get depressed and disgusted, both by the "rock and roll" subplot, but mostly the felonious male gaze groomer A plot.

Emily and Andrew once again leave DRACULA unconvinced of the show's conceits, this time involving psychics, Uncle Gustav being a desired television guest, and Dracula's ability to consume Orville Redenbacher's (sadly in not in a lewd way). But they do like adorable lagomorphs.

In another startling development... Emily and Andrew discover, under the right circumstances, the show can be downright charming and delightful. Albeit only when guest mom is Dracula's bride and ready to destroy the regular cast but still. Who knew? Join them for a spirited discussion of power suits, capitalist greed, and the smell of decaying flesh. Oh, and t-shirts! https://www.redbubble.com/i/t...

In a surprise twist, Emily and Andrew find themselves unironically praising some of this episode. But heaping on the praise (for special guest star Kim Coates). They also talk about toxic whiny boys, bad acting, Canadian accents, bad Canadian accent acting, and much more.

Emily and Andrew celebrate St. George's Eve early this year with a very special family-focused episode of DRACULA: THE SERIES. Listen as Emily delights in Geraint Wyn Davies's over-"acting", as Andrew threatens to make her watch NICK KNIGHT for more of it, and they both wonder why the show avoids having female guest stars. Other than the obvious reasons.

Featuring a very special guest star (in other words, Emily couldn't edit out a cat cameo)! Join Emily and Andrew in their first episode of 2023, which Emily didn't enjoy anywhere near as much as Andrew, though he's convinced it's because she missed a vital part of the final showdown!

How can DRACULA disappoint? Listen as Emily and Andrew count the many ways--including with the teen dating subplot, leading to some dated references for millennials and Gen-Xers, trying to suss the vampire "rules," and lengthy discussions about terrible acting.

Emily and Andrew are delighted to discover DRACULA: THE SERIES isn't anywhere near done being amazing, what with energy bolts, starcrossed lover monologues, tai chi, and Geordi Johnson deciding he's not over-acting enough yet.

It's another vampire genre-busting episode of DRACULA: THE SERIES and Emily and Andrew are thrilled to be along for the ride. Listen as they spot new houses, new backstories, new tropes, but the same old exercise bike and some truly godawful kid acting. 

Apparently in service to the Dark Lord of Boredom, Emily unleashes DRACULA: THE SERIES on Andrew and the 21st century. Listen as they discuss rap, hip hop, and some ska, how much vampires like poppy seeds, how big poppy seeds tend to be, creepy older men and teenage girls, horny business moms, bad special effects, and Luxembourgian architecture.

You heard it here first, folks!

Emily and Andrew reach the end of POLICE SQUAD (IN COLOR) and sadly bid farewell to this actually great series. Listen as they discuss Peter Lupus, Leslie Neilsen (FTW), guest stars, comedy tropes, and much more.

Emily and Andrew are back on the beat with another episode of POLICE SQUAD IN COLOR. Listen as they regal Peter Lupus and Leslie Nielsen, talk repetitive jokes, and argue about the shoe shine guy.

Thanks to Coronavirus disease 2019 (and a cat with pillow foot), Andrew was unable to report for his POLICE SQUAD (IN COLOR) duty, and instead made Emily talk about her current media consumption. When it got to be his turn, they realized there was an obvious, TARDIS-shaped topic they could talk about until they literally ran out of time