ON BOYS Podcast

Protein, creatine, & performance enhancing drugs are common in boy world. In fact, most teen boys experiment with them at some point.  Approximately 80% of teenage boys say they’ve used a protein supplement  within the last 12 months, says Kyle Ganson, an assistant professor who researches boys and body image. “There’s a very broad list of performance enhancers, including dietary supplements a...

Advocating for boys is one way to help boys and men thrive. At present, there are no governmental commissions working on behalf of boys and men in the United States. Not at the federal level & not at the state level. Even though boys lag behind girls in academic achievement and boys & men experience suicide, murder, drug & alcohol addiction, homelessness, incarceration, & early dea...

Gifted & twice-exceptional boys often struggle in school , despite their intelligence & talents. In fact, boys who are gifted or twice-exceptional (which means they are gifted & have a learning disability) are considered “ problem kids .” Teachers (and other adults) may make boredom as lack of focus, or assume that poor grades indicate lack of intelligence. For many 2E boys, their lear...

Like it or not, fentanyl, other opioids, and marijuana are part of our boys’ world. “It is very easy to get drugs on social media,” says Michelle Leopold, a mother who’s son, Trevor, died after taking a pill he purchase online. Ignoring these uncomfortable fact isn’t helpful. We have to educate ourselves and educate our boys. Here’s why: Marijuana harms young brains Today’s marijuana and marijuana...

50/50 shared parenting is good for boys & good for parents.  But it’s not yet the norm, despite decades of research demonstrating the value of shared parenting. “It’s one part sexism and one part misunderstanding of the latest social science around what it best for kids,” says Emma Johnson, author of  The 50/50 Solution: The Surprising Simple Choice that Makes Moms, Dads, and Kids Happier &amp...

Building boys’ resilience can help them thrive, says Marc Hauser.  Even if they’ve experienced a lot of adversity. “Adversity experienced by children is not a rare event, but a relatively common event,” says Marc, author of  Vulnerable Minds: The Harms of Childhood Trauma & the Hope of Resilience .  Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) may include abuse, violence, neglect, poverty, and loss of...

Yes, it’s possible to raise a healthy gamer.  Even in a world saturated with video games. Fighting about video games, however, isn’t helpful, says Alok Kanojia (aka Dr. K), author of  How to Raise a Healthy Gamer: End Power Struggles, Break Bad Screen Habits, and Transform Your Relationship with Your Kids. “Right now, there is an antagonistic relationship between most parents & their kids arou...

How, exactly, does one “get curious” about their son without badgering him? That’s a big, important question, and that’s exactly what Jennifer wants to know: Lately, as he is resisting my normal questioning…I feel like I am now pushing him to evaluate his feelings, talk to me, or just engage…I have seen this cute, fun challenge of showing a person two pieces of paper. Each one has something differ...

“Debt Free Mom” (aka Carly Hill) knows that family finances can be a fraught topic. Yet family finances affect every aspect of family life: A family’s stress level, as well as housing, education, and recreational choices. Family finances play into decisions such as  rec sports or travel team? Private school or public school?  And, of course, our attitude and money habits affects our children as we...

Many Dads want to “step up with their hearts” and “actively parent,”  says Maggie Dent, Australian parenting author and host of  The Good Enough Dad  and  Parental As Anything  podcasts.  “They want to know how to do it well,” she says, noting that most dads have little experience caring for (or interacting with!) children prior to becoming a parent. Moms, though, often unconsciously interfere wit...

Jaclyn Greenberg often feels like she’s living a divided life. When her daughter was born, there was music and laughter in the birthing room. When her disabled son was born, there was no music. No laughter. In fact, everyone swept out of the room soon after the baby’s birth, taking him with them. Jacyln hadn’t even had a chance to say hello. Raising a disabled son alongside two typically-developin...

Is middle school misunderstood — or magic? For most of us — and many of our kids — middle school is a pretty miserable time. But that’s largely because most educators and parents misunderstand middle schoolers & these critical years. “This is a very pervasive story, that middle school is terrible. But it doesn’t have to be. We  make  it terrible by working directly against the developmental ne...

Most schools today aren’t boy-friendly.  That’s one (big!) reason why boys lag behind girls academically. And why so many boys hate going to school.  Tyler, a 16-year-old Texas boy, started struggling in middle school. Recess was no more. Classes were 90 minutes long. So, “he found it really hard to sit still in class,” says Julie Jargon, the  Wall Street Journal  Family & Tech columnist who i...

Modern male puberty starts earlier than you think. It may start as early as age 9 in boys – which means that the mood swings you’re seeing in your 10-year-old son could well be puberty-related. After all, as  Cara Natterson  &  Vanessa Kroll Bennett  write in their book  This is So Awkward: Modern Puberty Explained,  “The very first sign of puberty in most kids is a slamming door.”  Most paren...

There’s a connection between adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) & muscle dysmorphia , which is a strong desire to bulk up your body. According to new research by Kyle Ganson, an assistant professor in Canada & a licensed clinical social worker who’s worked with teenagers & young adults, boys who experience abuse, neglect, incarceration or divorce of a parent, poverty, or parental men...

How can boys experience school success?  Parents and educators frequently ask, “How do we help boys thrive in school?” A question we rarely ask is,  What can boys do to set themselves up for school success?  What can we do to help boys successfully navigate school? “It’s really essential that we, as parents & educators of boys, are preparing them to navigate the struggles within school,” says ...

Color blindness affects a lot of boys. In fact,  1 in 12 males are color blind . They perceive color differently than most humans. Some see shades of tan instead of vivid reds and greens. Some see life in black, white, and grey. Many don’t realize that they see things differently than their peers, teachers, and parents. And many parents and teachers don’t realize that their boys are colorblind – w...

Which ON BOYS episodes were the Best of 2023?  Photo by Photo by Engin Akyurt via Pexels Your favorites include: 5.  Simplicity Parenting with Kim John Payne Simplicity parenting prioritizes a balanced schedule, predictable rhythm, and decluttered, information-filtered family environment… The antidote to constant overwhelm is simple, Payne says. It’s simplicity. He advises parents to “dial back”…...

Our January 5 conversation with  Mary Van Geffen ,  Parenting “Spicy” Boys , is ON BOYS’ Most Popular Episode of 2023 . (And Jen’s sons’ least favorite! Gen Z defines “spicy” quite differently than we’re using it here.) Sure, this episode, released early in the year, had the benefit of time. But Mary’s message also resonates with frustrated and overwhelmed parents of boys. As she told us, “Spicy”...

YouTube isn’t all entertainment and education. Misogyny, racism, and porn lurk there too. It can be really difficult to keep up with what our boys are watching online, though. Creators come & go, interests change, one click can lead to, well, anywhere. Boys love YouTube YouTube is ubiquitous these days. Gaming and challenge videos (think  Mr. Beast ) are certainly popular with boys, but many a...

America’s marriage coach, Dr. Jacquie Del Rosario, says nature  and  nurture affect our relationships. Moms are concerned with a lot of things at once; Dads tend to focus on one thing at a time. Many moms derive a sense of security from planning ahead for all possible contingencies. Dads tend to react to life as it happens. Females generally process information more quickly than males as well beca...

Neurodiverse kids need comprehensive sex education too. “It’s a fundamental human right to have this information – & so important to their health & safety,” says Amy Lang, creator of  Birds + Bees + Kids , a fantastic resource for parents, childcare providers and educators. Myths About Neurodiversity & Sexuality Many people (including well-meaning parents) believe one (or more) myths a...

Health education varies greatly from place to place. Some boys receive great, age-appropriate, inclusive health education at school. Others do not. “It’s pretty inconsistent,” says  Christopher Pepper , a health educator who currently teaches in the San Francisco Unified School District & is working on a book called  TALK TO YOUR BOYS: 27 Crucial Conversations Parents Need to Have with Boys To...

How do you make space for a teenage boy to make his own mistakes? Photo by olia danilevich via Pexels Especially when said teenager is frustrating, annoying, and contributing to family chaos? Sandra said: Teenager years are frustrating — wanting to tell him what do, yet I know he needs to make his own mistakes. Throw in toddler boy hitting/screaming at his brother…. She is definitely not the only...

Have you heard of autonomy-supportive parenting?  Essentially, it’s the opposite of helicopter parenting. It’s a parenting style that allows, supports, and encourages kids to make decisions and take action. And unlike helicopter parenting, which demands near-constant parental activity, autonomy-supportive parenting also supports parental rest (and can reduce burnout). “Intensive parenting is not g...