ON BOYS Podcast

The shower at Jen's house Have a boy who hates to shower? You are not alone! When a mom recently asked the Building Boys Facebook group, "Anyone else have a teenage boy who hates to shower?" she was quickly inundated with support and sympathy. Personal hygiene, it seems, is not a priority for most tween and teen boys. Lots of moms said they're dealing with the exact same issue. Oth...

Kids want the skill set to empower them to make the right choices. -- Mike Domitrz, founder of The Date Safe Project & father of 4 boys Talking to boys about consent is a must. It's also incredibly challenging and a bit intimidating. Let's face it: if adults were consistently good at consent, there wouldn't be a constant slew of headlines alleging sexual assault and misconduct. The...

Sam Fink, age 12 Boys can learn a lot by starting and running a business. Jen's youngest son, Sam, bought his older brother's lawn business two years ago, when the older brother moved to Tennessee (where he has since started another lawn care service). At age 12, Sam has a roster of 18 clients. He cuts and trims lawns and performs most of the necessary maintenance on his machines. In this...

Photo by Austin Kirk via Flickr Does your son have a summer job? Most boys don't. In 1978, 60% of teens had summer jobs; today, that number hovers between 35 and 40%. Boys today are more likely to spend their days playing sports, brushing up on academics and traveling with family or as part of mission teams. (And playing Fortnite.) Years ago, getting a job was an expected rite of passage for t...

How comfortable are you with risk? Do you respond with fear or encouragement when your son wants to try something new? How about when you find him climbing atop your tree house? Or doing flips off a public staircase? Adults' desire to keep boys safe often interferes with boys' ability to take chances and try new things. But "protecting" boys from risky activity can actually cause h...

Your son is not the only one struggling. According to Dr. Warren Farrell -- and a slew of research -- boys in 63 of the largest developed nations are faring worse than girls. They're doing worse academically. They're falling behind in the workplace. And their physical and mental health is failing as well. In his new book, The Boy Crisis: Why Our Boys Are Struggling and What We Can Do About...

Photo by Matthew Ingram via Flickr 'Tis the season for sleepaway camp and summer sleepovers! For some parents and kids, though, the prospect of a night away from home is scary. There are so many ‘what-if’s' that could happen: what if they’re cold? what if they get homesick? what if...what if...what if... But what if you let your kid go anyway? What if you work together to tackle any fear a...

Welcome to Part 2 of our first Listener Q & A! This week, Jen & Janet tackle 3 more questions: "What strategies do you use to deal with a sudden increase in lying in pre-teen boys?" "What's the best way to allow young boys to be adventurous/risky physically while maintaining a clear, safe boundary and being a responsible parent?" "How do you talk about the needs of...

When we put out a call for listener questions, you sent us some doozies! In this, our first-ever Listener Q & A (Part 1), we tackle three of your questions: "I just finished listening to the podcast episode with Amy Lang. I know she says we should begin talking to boys about bodies at 5 but wonder if this still applies to boys who are always using potty words and have horrible filters? My...

Photo by ASDA NRCS Montana According to the Oxford Living Dictionaries, self-esteem is "confidence in one's own worth or abilities; self-respect." That's something we want for our kids. We're not talking about participation trophies simply for showing up; we're talking about a true sense of pride that comes for knowledge of your capabilities. Nurturing that kind of self-con...

Amy Lang is a sex educator -- and the mom of a teenage boy who is utterly mortified by his mom's career. If anyone understands just how awkward talking about sex with your son can be -- and how important it is to push through despite your the discomfort -- it's Amy.   Amy is the creator of Birds + Bees + Kids, a fantastic resource for parents, childcare providers and educators. She speaks...

Photo by Craig Marren via Flickr  Is Gun Play Really Okay? A generation ago, gun play was an acceptable part of childhood. Parents gave their kids toy guns as gifts -- yes, even Red Ryder BB guns! (and yes, that's A Christmas Story reference) -- and boys regularly played Cops and Robbers and War both at school and in the neighborhood. Today, we're a little more leery of gun play. And no wo...

Photo by Isengardt via Flickr Why do boys spend so many hours playing videogames?  And how worried should we be about the hours they spend gaming? To get some answers, we turned to a true expert: Greg Wondra, a former boy & current parent who also happens to be video game designer who worked on the MLB 2K series, Wizard 101, Lost Planet 3, and Monkeyquest, Greg Wondra, video game designer &amp...

Photo by Ryan Quick via Flickr Can your video game-loving boy turn his passion into a career? Perhaps, says our special guest, Greg Wondra. Greg is a veteran game designer who worked on the MLB 2K series, Wizard 101, Lost Planet 3, and Monkeyquest, and currently teaches video game design to high school students at Kern County Regional Occupational Center in California.   Greg directing a motion ca...

Photo by Paul Inkles via Flickr How many hours per week do your boys spend in front of a screen? According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, children ages 6-10 now spend 6 hours per day using screens as entertainment. That figure doesn't count time spent learning via screens at school, or videochatting with grandma and grandpa. In this episode, Jen & Janet discuss: Expert...

Photo by Independentman via Flickr What is masculinity? It's a question that's not easy to answer. But it's an important one for parents and educators of boys to tackle because the primary question for all boys, is "What is it to be a man?" In this episode, Jen & Janet discuss: So-called "toxic masculinity" & the idea that boys are "broken" Healthy mascu...

Photo by Stewart Baird via Flickr "By age 9, the default emotion for most boys is anger." -- Michael Gurian It's easy to feel overwhelmed and helpless in the face of a boy's anger, whether you've got a toddler throwing a temper tantrum or a teenager on a rampage. But learning to respond to boys' anger with love and patience is one of the best gifts we can give to our guys....

Photo by woodleywonderworks via Flickr Sports are a HUGE part of boy world -- and that's a problem for boys who aren't interested in or don't particularly enjoy athletics. In this episode, Jen & Janet discuss: Why it's so important for parents to separate their athletic ambitions from their sons' How families can resist social pressure to sign up for sports Alternative ways...

Photo by Runar Pederson Hokestad via Flickr Sam had high hopes for this 12th birthday. But things didn’t go as planned. Instead of a day of adventure and independence, Sam’s had an encounter with a cop and learned he must wait another four years to ride his ATV independently on the trails. Dealing with disappointments is a key life skill. In this episode, Jen and Janet discuss how the “man box” st...

Photo by Lars Plougmann via Flickr Few things cause boys (and their families) as much stress as HOMEWORK. In many cases, homework battles turn into outright power struggles -- with no winners. In this episode, Jen & Janet discuss: Why boys struggle with homework The impact of homework on boys' academic achievement What to do about "meaningless" homework How a "too cool for scho...

What do you get when you combine a former educator/family coach with a writer/mom of 4 boys? A podcast that's all about parenting, teaching and reaching tomorrow's men! In this episode, you'll meet your co-hosts, Janet Allison and Jennifer L.W. Fink. Learn how they connected -- and why they believe it's so important for parents and teachers of boys to learn about the Boy Code.   Je...