Oh These, Those Stars of Space!

When the Cavalier's most-eligible Bachelorette, Vestavia Casketshowroom (Carly Monardo), crosses paths with its most-affianced ensign, Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt), will Gelmire's love for Meredith Chesterfield be put to the test? And with Clinton Bodycount (Branson Reese) playing cupid, does Gelmire even stand a chance?    BEEP BEEP!! HOLIDAY MERCH NOW FOR SALE! Check out the amazing Pleasure Dom...

When a Vanguard Commbadge is detected on the dangerous and mysterious planet Lucifar, it's up to Baron Baudelaire (Taylor Moore) and Billy Onassis (Branson Reese), the Cavalier's most devilish crew, to solve the mystery. A mission to the most hellish planet in the galaxy? It's times like this they wish ship martyr Eusebius Carter (Tim Platt) was still around, but he died months ago...didn't he? To...

When routine maintenance uncovers something deep in the Cavalier's computer core from a fallen comrade, it's up to Legs Loveless (Taylor Moore), Threadcount-900 (Christopher Hastings), and ship's agent Billy Onassis (Branson Reese) to save the crew from this rogue program. But can even these three get out of such a sticky situation??? Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE A...

Ship's Tactician Begonia Bloodterror (Christopher Hastings) is a master strategist. But all his plans are thrown out the window when two small urchins, Boboli (Carly Monardo) and Limoncello (Taylor Moore), sneak up from the abandoned alleyways of Deck 31 with ominous news. Can Begonia take on this dangerous test and save the Cavalier? Will Boboli and Limoncello ever find a papa? And can Begonia co...

Ship's ENT Doctor Dewey (Christopher Hastings), his wife, Documentarian Ilse Schlacht (Carly Monardo), and Vape Salesman Carboat Bin Laden (Taylor Moore) are attempting to enjoy some simple shore leave when something unexpectedly *lunar* gets in their way. PLUS: When Ilse gets the call of a lifetime, what changes will it bring?? To hear the rest of this episode, and all of our bonus content, Join...

When the Vanguard receives a surprise message from a reclusive world somehow associated with feet, it's up to Threadcount-900 (Christopher Hastings), Guy Normal (Branson Reese), Chestershire (Ali Fisher), Legs Loveless (Taylor Moore), and Ship's Cobbler Cargo Pantangelo (Guest Star MATTIE LUBCHANSKY) to crack this high-stakes diplomatic encounter. But in a situation this tense, is the crew of the...

"...Family Members including Tuscaloosa Casketshowroom (Taylor Moore), Vestavia Casketshowroom (Carly Monardo), and Froglevel Casketshowroom (Ali Fisher)." To hear the rest of this episode, and all of our bonus content, Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons only. You can go listen to all of them now! Go! Hurry! It's only five bucks...

Captured at the end of the last episode, hopes for our heroes grow dim as the clock ticks towards their scheduled rendezvous. Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt), Blooperno Illion (Christopher Hastings), and Carboat Bin Laden (Taylor Moore). Are relentlessly interrogated by Correxian agents, including some...familiar faces? It will take a miracle, or maybe an old friend, to get them out... BEEP BEEP! WE'...

Behind Enemy Lines, Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt) leads a crack team including telepathic agent Blooperno Illion (Christopher Hastings) and mild-mannered, innocent vape salesman Carboat Bin Laden (Taylor Moore) to uncover a Correxian propaganda plan. But when things start going off the rails, can young Gelmire keep his team alive and on track? And what happens when they cross paths with a mysteriou...

PREVIEW: The Vanguard presents gaseous crewmate Clare President ( Taylor Moore ) with his first opportunity to eat, and along with the meal sends as an emissary Liberty Balboa's  ( Branson Reese ) old culinary school chum, celebrity chef Guinevere Tot ( Carly Monardo ). But could a recipe for reconnection and fond nostalgia be curdled by a dash of...ulterior motives? You'll simply have to listen t...

With the Cavalier's Hyperwarp Drive out of commission, grizzled veteran Backyard Pyle (Taylor Moore) assembles a crack team including ship's contrarian Scorpio Ni-Yeer (Branson Reese) and legendary napper Rip Van Winkle (Tim Platt), to hunt on the surface of a dangerous jungle planet for the phenomenon that's got our ship stuck. But sometimes truth (this is a nonfiction podcast) is stranger than f...

After a scheduling error in the holozone leads Baron Baudelaire (Taylor Moore), ship's Pet Chestashire (Ali Fisher), and Ship's Mortician Clinton Bodycount (Branson Reese) into making their own fun, even that is interrupted when our heroes intercept a shocking transmission. But, in order to save the day, they risk revealing their identities to the Correxians and putting every life aboard the Caval...

When Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt), Meredith Chesterfield (Ali Fisher), Baron Baudelaire (Taylor Moore), Threadcount-900 (Christopher Hastings), and ship's movie critic Shemp Fortunes (Branson Reese), decide to blow off a little steam in the holozone, they think they're in for an afternoon of fun. But when something goes wrong, the ship's computers birth something... spooky, which in turn births so...

It's vacation time as the Cavalier makes a pitstop at legendary pleasure planet Xanadu Hard. But when pilot Legs Loveless (Taylor Moore) has a dangerous liaison, it's up to him and the ship's mages of Good Fortune, Deremith (Ali Fisher), and Ill Portent, Werimether (Christopher Hastings) to set things right and keep the peace in paradise...   Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN...

PART TWO (OF TWO)- Following the shocking events of last episode, Katya Bushnikova (Carly Monardo), Dr. Dewey (Christopher Hastings), and a critically wounded Legs Loveless (Taylor Moore), discover a shocking secret of the Concilium, courtesy of an unlikely new ally (Tim Platt). Meanwhile, their only chance of unshrinking themselves goes missing, setting our heroes on a path to a thrilling a confr...

When a routine medical exam goes horribly awry, Dr Dewey (Christopher Hastings), Katya Bushnikova (Carly Monardo), and Legs Loveless (Taylor Moore), find even the good doctor's office can be full of danger around every corner! PLUS: The Mystery of What Was in Katya's Ear! Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons only. You can go liste...

While headed off to a routine mission, Backyard Pyle (Taylor Moore), Dr. Dewey (Christopher Hastings), and ship pleasure droid Don Valentino (Branson Reese) disappear! And not in the usual way! In a different, *weird* way! It's up to Clare President (also Taylor Moore), Threadcount-900 (Christopher Hastings again), and Liberty Balboa (Branson Reese x2) to find their compatriots- by any means neces...

An already exciting occasion in sleepy Hudfar village is made all the more momentous when three mysterious strangers arrive in town. With no knowledge of their true identities, The deathly pallid Bed (Christopher Hastings), beautifully-haired Keith (Taylor Moore), and giant cockroach Garr-gall (Branson Reese), struggle to make sense of their place in this unfamiliar world. And what is that strange...

When an isolated planet with fantastic technology and beloved wines stands on the brink of destruction, it's up to Threadcount-900 (Christopher Hastings), Backyard Pyle (Taylor Moore), and Marvin Blond (Tim Platt) to sit them down and undestruct that brink. Also what's this about a rocket? And a baby? Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for...

Far from the the light of the Cavalier, these are those VANGUARD NIGHTS: apocrypha, ephemera, and straight up goofins' "in" the "world" of Oh These Those Stars of Space. As our first Vanguard Night we present to you our 2021 Thanksgiving Hangover Special! The CAST of the show are long dead but their future clones are THRUST into danger as part of a black-ops Vanguard experiment. Can they survive!?...

Heads up DUDES! It's the audio from our first (FREE for Patrons)  live stream: MAN MOON RISING. Liberty Balboa, Mitzy, Gelmire, Threadcount and Legs are sent to find a long lost colony on the moon of Testoster 1. But what's this? In the relatively brief time they've been out of contact with the Concilloium, the colonists have developed into a world ruled by...men? What possible reason could the co...

Hear Ye, Hear Ye! A mysterious structure from the distant past appears off the bow of the Cavalier, and Ensign Bubbsriel (Carly Monardo), Father Matthew Sagittarius (Christopher Hastings), and Mary (Ali Fisher), decide to investigate. And can Groomda (Tim Platt) quit it with the Halloween preparations long enough to help out?? Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONA...

After the first two minutes of this episode, you might think there's nothing but silence for the next 60 minutes. BUT KEEP LISTENING. I promise it's worth it. Hell, maybe Cavvy the Cavalier (Branson Reese), Tuscaloosa Casketshowroom (Taylor Moore), and Groomda (Tim Platt) show up. How?? You'll just have to find out... Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE...

When an old "friend" of Baron Baudelaire interrupts a wedding planning party, Meredith Chesterfield (Ali Fisher) Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt) and the Baron himself (Taylor Moore) must travel to the speed moon of Vroomex 9 and put their very lives on the line; the FINISH LINE that is!  Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons only. The...

Following a party in the Engine Room, pilot Legs Loveless (Taylor Moore) calls Katya Bushnikova (Carly Monardo), Threadcount 900 (Christopher Hastings), and rookie engineer Mitzy Festerchild (Ali Fisher), to the bridge to hear a mysterious transmission. When it's decoded, its contents will shock and disturb you. PLUS: Where did Groomda (Tim Platt) go?! Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, inc...