Nymphet Alumni

In this special holiday episode, we put on our rose-colored glasses and evoke the shopping malls of our youth to identify a saccharine, age-regressive genus of commodity fetishism hereby known as Sugar Cookie Consumerism. Strolling with a metaphorical Cinnabon in hand, we discuss pre-Stories Instagram, the epidemic of teen pregnancy in the 2000s — 2010s, dessert-scented bath and body products, fin...

This week’s episode is dedicated to the Russian Bimbocore aesthetic. We talk spicy white mob wives, hypergamous living dolls, the eternal multiplicity of ushanka hats, and the wintery liminality of Eastern Europe in the Western imagination. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・ Links:  https://www.pinterest.com/nymp...

On this week’s episode, we discuss the social media spectacle of Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly’s whirlwind romance. We analyze the Spiritual Bimbo archetype, dabble in feminism as we reflect on the misogyny of 2000s Hollywood, and consider the timeless appeal of dating a boy in a band. Biz comes out as a burnt out Megan Fox truther, we psychoanalyze Megan’s outfits, and together we phone in a re...

Happy Fall, y’all! On today’s episode, we discuss the impact of the divisive American female archetype-turned-meme: Christian Girl Autumn. We dive into the domestic coziness of mommy blogging, Target’s neo-hearth-and-home merchandising, growing up in proximity to youth group sex cults, and the infallible glam of crypto-Mormon influencers. Following our spiritual tithes to the reigning queens of fa...

Surprise nymplets!! Following our exegesis on nepotism babies, we remained haunted by a few unanswered questions… so we decided to seek an expert’s opinion. On today’s episode, we welcome our first ever boy guest: renowned nepo model expert, notorious casting director, and all-around silly rabbit, Walter Pearce! ʕ≧ᴥ≦ʔ Walter helps us get to the bottom of the My Year of Rest and Relaxation waif nep...

On today’s episode, we discuss the phenomenal appeal of nepotism. Are Tim Burton vibes so strong that they spiritually transferred themselves onto the Depp family genetic code? Why is Bella Hadid’s botched Aphex Twin realness so transcendently beautiful? Is the biohacked former ugly duckling (Kylie) more resilient than the low-maintenance white girl (Kendall)? These are just a few of the hard-hitt...

On this week’s episode, we discuss legendary Tumblr-era thot brand OMIGHTY and the twisted world of text post and t-shirt feminism. We also explore the legacy of seapunk and the scene girl diaspora, the nihilism of 2010s music festival culture, and the cultural gluttony of millennial humor. We reflect on the implications of clothing yourself in your digital life, and wrap things up with a wellness...

Following the Great Nymphet Alumni Hiatus of July 2021, we consider the vampire gf, examining why everyone’s dressing like characters from Twilight and The Vampire Diaries. We discuss how this trend signals a new era of modesty and the end of the eternally exposed midriff, classify the symptoms of Unremarkable Brunette Protagonist Syndrome, and wax poetic about the power of Converse, camisoles and...

Despite being debilitated by their recent BBL surgeries, Alexi, Biz, and Sam apply their expert analysis to the phenomenon known as The BBL Effect. They discuss the characteristics of e-thottie fashion, parse through the BBL's alarming medical risks, and dread their upcoming recovery process. Brands discussed: Inamorata: https://www.instagram.com/inamoratawoman/?hl=en I AM GIA: https://www.instagr...

On this week’s episode, we discuss the new age of Internet girl physiognomy as exemplified by TikTok star/US Navy veteran Bella Poarch. We break down the success of TikTok’s most beautiful and babyfaced, examine cuteness as the next source of geopolitical power, and speculate on Bella’s past (and potential future) as a global military asset. We also discuss... jiggle physics.. Special thanks to be...

On today's episode, 3 Harvard sociologists discuss state-mandated pop album "Sour" and Olivia Rodrigo's diplomatic reign as wasian princess of the universe This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.nymphetalumni.com/subscribe

On this week's episode, we discuss Hot Girl Summer culture and its new reactionary counterpart: Blob Girl Summer... We consider the pros and cons of pandemic-era glow-up culture, call for a revived veneration of homely women in STEM, and give the listeners a look into the fascinating world of Reddit looksmaxxing! Blob Girl Summer essay: https://www.businessinsider.com/get-ready-for-blob-girl-summe...

This week, we host an emergency summit discussing the shocking milf-ification of alt-queen Billie Eilish. We discuss her British Vogue cover as the nail in the coffin for the corset trend, express concerns over the accelerated schoolgirl-to-milf pipeline, and reflect on the sterility of pop-cultural fertility icons. Links: https://www.vogue.co.uk/news/article/billie-eilish-vogue-interview https://...

On this week's episode, we analyze the rise of preppy fashion in alternative culture. We track the history of prep from its origin on Ivy League campuses, discuss its varying cultural significance throughout the decades (The Kennedys! Vivienne Westwood! Vampire Weekend! Brandy Melville!), and unpack why a sweater vest and tennis skirt has become the go-to look for Gen Z baddies ... Links: The Offi...

Megsuperstarprincess, fashion blogger and self-proclaimed Audrey Hepburn of the Lower East Side, joins Nymphet Alumni to discuss her life as an It Girl with a smashed Android and how she's breathing life into the musty corpse of fashion writing. We consider the golden age of fashion blogging, the sacredness of hipster style philosophy (chunky platforms are out, bloody ballet flats are in), and Meg...

On this week's episode, we discuss the legendary online publication and twee teenage nightmare, Rookie magazine. Founded by ordained gifted kid Tavi Gevinson in 2011, Rookie radicalized a generation of Tumblr-addicted young women into free-bleeding their way through lives, physically and emotionally. We share stories from our self-imposed suffering as misguided teen feminists, discuss the neoliber...

For part 2 of our American Apparel series, we forensically* investigate founder and former CEO Dov Charney’s wealth of sexual harassment lawsuits and discuss how they ultimately led to the company’s chaotic implosion in 2015. We consider how this controversy relates to contemporary sexual dynamics and finally answer the question that’s been weighing on our nation’s psyche for over 15 years: Is Dov...

For the international debut of Nymphet Alumni, we discuss American Apparel's epic rise and fall, why it's making a comeback in 2021, Dov Charney's existential horniness, and whether or not we're all massive perverts for being obsessed with tennis skirts. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.nymphetalumni.com/subsc...