Nymphet Alumni

This week, we put the spotlight on contemporary Hollywood's current love affair with Old Hollywood. We spelunk into the hole at the center of the Marilyn/Norma Jean enigma and unpack the symptoms of female movie star pathology and "I'm a star!" hysterics. We also discuss the security of artifice and the timeless allure of Golden Age red carpet styling. This very cinephilic episode features dialogu...

In this week’s cheeky episode, we bring into existence the concept of the “blokette” (bloke + coquette) aesthetic, a fascinating new look which draws combines sporty tomboyish swag with whimsical femininity. We discuss Bella Bots, Cool Britannia, the Beautiful Game, and the heritage of sportswear in fashion. ‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ...

*bubble noises* For a special end of summer episode, we dive into tiki culture. Sit back, relax, grab a Mai Tai, and listen to the tale of tiki's rise and fall (and rise again) in the American imagination ... its mythic figures and legendary rivalries ... the psychological hold it's had on Elvis, the creators of SpongeBob, and the Nymphet Alumni girls  ... and much more ... ‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣...

In this special report, we dive into the dark heart of New York Fashion Week, exposing its sussy past, astral projecting into Vogue World, and discussing the highs and lows of the Spring 2023 season.  ‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵‿ Sam's Assigned Reading: http://mason.gmu.ed...

Ciao, Bellas! We wrap up the summer with a hop across the pond, taking a detailed look at the land of eternal cities. We talk voluptuous women, Aperol Spritzes, billowing linens, Drake in Ibiza, melting Cadbury chocolates, and more! ‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵‿ Links: Imag...

This week, we offer opinion from various theological camps and congregations, and our own hearts and souls, on the outrage that's followed Addison Rae's decision to wear a Holy Trinity bikini on Instagram.  ‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵‿ Cover photo by @stolenbesos Links: Ad...

In this episode, we have a go at the mythological invention that is "That Girl" and ponder why everyone wants to become her. We discuss bullet journaling, Olaplex buns, waking up at dawn, and personal care routines executed with Patrick Bateman-level precision. We also consider what it means to be a young woman entering today's evolving workforce, and the unique influence of the claw-clip-wearing,...

In honor of July 4th, we pay tribute to the boldest stripes, the brightest stars, and the bravest hearts of our Great Republic (?). From Realtree and Lana Del Rey to Kapital and William Bradford, we wander the vast spectrum of Americana in our contemporary culture. Official Texas state historian Light Townsend Cummins unpacks the archetype of the cowboy for Sam, Alexi announces her political candi...

In this episode, the mischievous Snapchat ghost comes to haunt us, resurfacing memories of Kylie Lip Kits, Gucci flip flops, and steering wheel selfies. It was the end of the 2010s, the late 2010s, and everyone was so happy: shameless clickbait, globalist pop music, multicultural baddies, and athleisure fetishism ruled supreme. We go straight to the source of the impeccable vibes that paved the wa...

This week’s episode dissects the formidable cultural impact of music festivals. We discuss the rise and fall of flower crowns, the anglophone influence on boho-chic, the mournful trajectory of Vanessa Hudgens’s life, all culminating in a heated debate about shoe shining and Sugar Bear Hair gummies.  ‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣...

In this episode, we reflect on our days at warehouse raves, zine fairs, and house shows to bring you a categorical history of Mass Bushwick, a cultural movement that has expanded far beyond its namesake locale. We chronicle its infectious rise through avant-pop stars, meme pages, and fashion editorials; we discuss the methodology of "turning looks" and the high stakes of club kid nightlife; and we...

In this episode, prompted by Julia Fox's vocal fry soundbite heard around the world, we question what it really means to be a muse. We reflect on the concept's history – recurring characters include toxic gay besties, troubled aristocrat party-girls, and poetic simps of the 19th century – and ponder the future of creative relationships and divine inspiration.  ‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿...

Broadcasting live from the Island of the Lost Boys, we bring to you (with humble hearts) a definitive history of the Xandemic period of the 2010s. We discuss the dark underbelly of suburban adolescent malaise, the goblin-hooliganism of Odd Future, the masculine pathologies portrayed in HBO's "Euphoria," and the Benzodiazepinite foundations on which the American suburbs were built... all while dodg...

On the first episode of this grand and blessed New Year, we reflect on the Twee phenomenon and its controversial yet adorkable revival. We discuss the everlasting omnipresence of the Twee lifestyle, the aesthetic’s anachronistic child-grandma garb, the pursuit of education for leisure, and the benefits of fetishizing physical media. ‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵‿...

In this special holiday episode, we put on our rose-colored glasses and evoke the shopping malls of our youth to identify a saccharine, age-regressive genus of commodity fetishism hereby known as Sugar Cookie Consumerism. Strolling with a metaphorical Cinnabon in hand, we discuss pre-Stories Instagram, the epidemic of teen pregnancy in the 2000s — 2010s, dessert-scented bath and body products, fin...

This week’s episode is dedicated to the Russian Bimbocore aesthetic. We talk spicy white mob wives, hypergamous living dolls, the eternal multiplicity of ushanka hats, and the wintery liminality of Eastern Europe in the Western imagination. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・ Links:  https://www.pinterest.com/nymp...

On this week’s episode, we discuss the social media spectacle of Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly’s whirlwind romance. We analyze the Spiritual Bimbo archetype, dabble in feminism as we reflect on the misogyny of 2000s Hollywood, and consider the timeless appeal of dating a boy in a band. Biz comes out as a burnt out Megan Fox truther, we psychoanalyze Megan’s outfits, and together we phone in a re...

Happy Fall, y’all! On today’s episode, we discuss the impact of the divisive American female archetype-turned-meme: Christian Girl Autumn. We dive into the domestic coziness of mommy blogging, Target’s neo-hearth-and-home merchandising, growing up in proximity to youth group sex cults, and the infallible glam of crypto-Mormon influencers. Following our spiritual tithes to the reigning queens of fa...

Surprise nymplets!! Following our exegesis on nepotism babies, we remained haunted by a few unanswered questions… so we decided to seek an expert’s opinion. On today’s episode, we welcome our first ever boy guest: renowned nepo model expert, notorious casting director, and all-around silly rabbit, Walter Pearce! ʕ≧ᴥ≦ʔ Walter helps us get to the bottom of the My Year of Rest and Relaxation waif nep...

On today’s episode, we discuss the phenomenal appeal of nepotism. Are Tim Burton vibes so strong that they spiritually transferred themselves onto the Depp family genetic code? Why is Bella Hadid’s botched Aphex Twin realness so transcendently beautiful? Is the biohacked former ugly duckling (Kylie) more resilient than the low-maintenance white girl (Kendall)? These are just a few of the hard-hitt...

On this week’s episode, we discuss legendary Tumblr-era thot brand OMIGHTY and the twisted world of text post and t-shirt feminism. We also explore the legacy of seapunk and the scene girl diaspora, the nihilism of 2010s music festival culture, and the cultural gluttony of millennial humor. We reflect on the implications of clothing yourself in your digital life, and wrap things up with a wellness...

Following the Great Nymphet Alumni Hiatus of July 2021, we consider the vampire gf, examining why everyone’s dressing like characters from Twilight and The Vampire Diaries. We discuss how this trend signals a new era of modesty and the end of the eternally exposed midriff, classify the symptoms of Unremarkable Brunette Protagonist Syndrome, and wax poetic about the power of Converse, camisoles and...

Despite being debilitated by their recent BBL surgeries, Alexi, Biz, and Sam apply their expert analysis to the phenomenon known as The BBL Effect. They discuss the characteristics of e-thottie fashion, parse through the BBL's alarming medical risks, and dread their upcoming recovery process. Brands discussed: Inamorata: https://www.instagram.com/inamoratawoman/?hl=en I AM GIA: https://www.instagr...

On this week’s episode, we discuss the new age of Internet girl physiognomy as exemplified by TikTok star/US Navy veteran Bella Poarch. We break down the success of TikTok’s most beautiful and babyfaced, examine cuteness as the next source of geopolitical power, and speculate on Bella’s past (and potential future) as a global military asset. We also discuss... jiggle physics.. Special thanks to be...

On today's episode, 3 Harvard sociologists discuss state-mandated pop album "Sour" and Olivia Rodrigo's diplomatic reign as wasian princess of the universe This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.nymphetalumni.com/subscribe