Nuzzle House

We learn: This author doesn’t like animals having ‘agency’ I have nothing to talk about This author isn’t as horrible as most I learn about Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/7-best-short-stories-cats-saki/20248817?ean=9786589575108&next=t Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip j...

We learn: That the ‘shifting bear’ analogy can be used to represent a lack of a religious compass This work is laden with the powerful symbol of ‘the mother’ Every sexual encounter involves confronting the ghosts of your partner’s previous sexual conquests. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/shifter-daddies-a-paranormal-romance-collection-meg-ripley/13234235?ean=978169719491...

We learn: My God, did I just find an author that isn’t human garbage? AGAIN with the sci-fi names! I wanted to keep this gentle author separate from all the others by reading in a closet. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-empire-of-the-necromancers-and-three-others-clark-ashton-smith/11154862?ean=9781434458612&next=t&next=t Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.c...

We learn: Another author who is a horrible person This story is clearly his attempt to impress Lovecraft Rubber gloves are ALWAYS wet Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-fearsome-touch-of-death-robert-e-howard/11655811?ean=9781304999160&next=t&next=t Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House by contr...

We learn: I don’t know what a ‘farce’ is Ambrose Bierce can get weird I only drank 3 White Claws- I’m FINE Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/a-bottomless-grave-and-other-victorian-tales-of-terror-hugh-lamb/BbM2gCVQzFHUatzQ?ean=9780486114378&next=t&digital=t Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House by...

We learn: When I think of how to re-vamp my show, it just becomes a seperate show The first story was weird I should get my bladder checked Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/beyond-lies-the-wub-philip-k-dick/U8HTQuQ7ScztMpus?ean=9781974998517&next=t&digital=t Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House b...

We learn: America is FINE. NOTHING horrible is happening and I’m NOT WORRIED ABOUT IT I just skipped a whole chapter because I’m sick of this book In the end, the book basically had no point. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/hellflower-heathen-edition-george-o-smith/19899197?ean=9781948316439 Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Sup...

We learn: The Cadillac Ranch restaurant doesn’t make any sense I seriously don’t know how this story can end Elon Musk never stops being an idiot Go on, read it for yourself:  https://bookshop.org/p/books/hellflower-heathen-edition-george-o-smith/19899197?ean=9781948316439 Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their ti...

We learn: A chapter can still be really boring My leg is FINE Another near-sexual-assult but not enough for me to officially stop reading this Go on, read it for yourself:  https://bookshop.org/p/books/hellflower-heathen-edition-george-o-smith/19899197?ean=9781948316439 Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip j...

We learn: A.I. can actually make a funny story My boss’s boss’s boss love shit like this The story of uprising was inspiring Go on, read it for yourself:  chatGPT.com  (With my prompts) Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/nuzzle-house Send us your feedback online: https://...

We learn: Both chapters were completely useless My beautiful dancers knees have made me get a fat leg I’ve become a huge fan of heating pads lately Go on, read it for yourself:  https://bookshop.org/p/books/hellflower-heathen-edition-george-o-smith/19899197?ean=9781948316439 Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their...

We learn: People who are into board games are really aggressive I WANT to like this author, but he keeps finding ways to prevent that My wife can’t understand why I keep reading this book Go on, read it for yourself:  https://bookshop.org/p/books/hellflower-heathen-edition-george-o-smith/19899197?ean=9781948316439 Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Suppor...

We learn: My dad suffers from Chicken Leg I nearly was able to drop this story- but nope. He’s just playing with us I’m trying to reimagine my basement Go on, read it for yourself:  https://bookshop.org/p/books/hellflower-heathen-edition-george-o-smith/19899197?ean=9781948316439 Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to th...

We learn: I’ve been told to stop caring and let the world see the real Glen I still hate reading this book I never knew a fight scene could be so boring. Go on, read it for yourself:  https://bookshop.org/p/books/hellflower-heathen-edition-george-o-smith/19899197?ean=9781948316439 Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to...

We learn: FUUUUUCK Go on, read it for yourself:  https://bookshop.org/p/books/hellflower-heathen-edition-george-o-smith/19899197?ean=9781948316439 Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/nuzzle-house Send us your feedback online: https://pinecast.com/feedback/nuzzle-house/dd04...

We learn: I guess a woman’s worth is based on if they look classy or not I’m just waiting for this book to go south so I can drop it and move on Apparently the height of a women matters- unless she’s hot. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/hellflower-heathen-edition-george-o-smith/19899197?ean=9781948316439 Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for g...

We learn: I’m an artist that likes to sit around and listen to his own stuff I can’t wait to get rid of these sweaty pumpkins Thank god we don’t need poetry anymore Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-raven-edgar-allen-poe/6603490?ean=9781941667132 Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their t...

We learn: If you live somewhere with a pronunciation that is complicated- don’t live there I’m drinking a cursed white claw I guess you can create the perfect crime- that your kids can watch? Go on, read it for yourself: https://baki.cc Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/...

We learn: Don’t hike with someone who uses you as bear food I kinda didn’t like that I was reading some of this in a ‘funny voice’ Nature doesn’t care if you’re in love Go on, read it for yourself: https://baki.cc Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/nuzzle-house Send us yo...

We learn: You never have to stop flirting with chicks- even if they’re dead My wet pumpkins are back Just because you shoot someone in the head, it doesn’t mean they’re dead yet. Go on, read it for yourself: https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-ghost-stories-of-ambrose-bierce-ambrose-bierce/10656164?ean=9781515427995 Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support...

We learn: I didn’t know you could ‘bury someone in space’ by just ejecting them into space I got bees in my house Apparently women’s legs can ‘twinkle’ Go on, read it for yourself:  https://bookshop.org/books?affiliate=12554&keywords= Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.co...

We learn: I hate that this author doesn’t think very highly of women I hate that our protagonist is horny all the time I hate that none of the characters have an opinion on this flower beyond “It’s unfortunate about the addiction” Go on, read it for yourself:  https://bookshop.org/p/books/hellflower-heathen-edition-george-o-smith/19899197?ean=9781948316439 Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bed...

We learn: Just like a YouTuber, if you kill 33 people you can just apologize and get back to work Apparently a ‘spacer’ is a spaceship. I’m really hoping this book doesn’t normalize this sexual assault flower like Bill Cosby’s comedy routines did for the ‘Spanish fly’ in the 1970s Go on, read it for yourself:  https://bookshop.org/p/books/hellflower-heathen-edition-george-o-smith/19899197?ean=9781...

We learn: Just because something is short and punchy- doesn’t mean it’s good Maybe the author was only given 8 pages to write so this wasn’t their fault? I’m going to become a sweaty pig at the state fair tomorrow Go on, read it for yourself:  https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/70148 Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to...

We learn: My wife sings along to ‘that thing you do’ movie- which is a solid 2 hours of singing the same song over, and over. Go on, read it for yourself:  https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/74226 Listen anywhere: nuzzlehouse.com Your bedtime story read aloud for grown ups. Support Nuzzle House by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/nuzzle-house Send us your feedback online:...