Number One With A Bullet

Long before Ariana Grande and Justin Bieber were inspired by the 2020 pandemic, your dad's good friend Huey Lewis had the idea to write a song about being emotionally trapped in a relationship. But he did it on an island! With a buffet! And a shark!

It's a country song. About a Parent Teacher Association. And it has no chorus. What more needs to be said? Apparently a lot because this song's legacy is long, convoluted, and exhausting, but Andrew and Dan are determined to cover it all.

Listeners, all we can do is apologize. Each week, we try to bring you good songs. But sometimes the god's of fate bring as a number one hit that was better left forgotten. The most remarkable thing about Paul Anka's 1970s ode to pregnancy is that it is a universally reviled chart-topping single. Join Andrew and Dan in hating this thing!

Hopefully you've got your DNA test prepped and ready to go because, this week, Andrew and Dan are traveling back a single calendar year to discuss the viral sleeper hit from America's favorite flutist, Lizzo. We don't want to spoil anything, but you might want to keep your controversy hats close by on this one. 

Once again the hosts of this podcasts of fallen victim to Batman fever. This time around, however, instead of discussing the eccentricities of Prince, they're talking about incomprehensible lyrics, baroque musical stylings, and the twisted mind of Joel Schumacher. 

(Sorry about the construction noise in the background on this episode. Please send complaints to the city of Chicago) Andrew and Dan return to everyone's favorite secondary podcast format, Number Two With A Bullet, to discuss the dance track that was seemingly everywhere except the top of the charts. In the end, they're forced to just throw their hands up in the air.

Sir Elton John returns to the podcast with a simple request: Please don't destroy the organ that pumps blood throughout my body. And Andrew and Dan are here to say, "OK! We won't!" They're also here to learn a little about Miss Kiki Dee and the bizarre Motown inspiration for this perfectly fine duet.

In the year two thousaaaaaaand! Remember? Well, in case you don't, this episode is going to give you a full rundown of peak boy band madness in the U.S. and a brief look at the dark underbelly, too. Make sure you have your choreography memorized and don't let the screaming fans distract you. This is our only chance!

We hope you've got a strong dial-up internet connection and a really funny away message prepared, because this week Andrew and Dan are discussing a song designed specifically for people in relationships over AIM chat. It's the height of summer, so it's time to get whiny and sad with some pop punk boys from the suburbs.

It's the height of summer and Andrew and Dan aren't ready to leave the beach just yet. Thankfully, a couple football hunks from Los Angeles, California are willing to give them a ride down to the three-way capital of the world. We're going to Surf City, baby!

Continuing their accidentally tenth anniversary celebration of the album Teenage Dream, Andrew and Dan find themselves discussing 2010's song of the summer. Get your flip-flops on, head to the beach, and attach whipped cream canisters to your breasts. It's unforgettable.

This is a big one, ladies and germs. One of the most iconic guitar riffs from one of the most iconic bands; the bad boy alternative to the clean cut British invasion bands who topped the charts several times over their half-century long career. But this week, Andrew and Dan are starting at the beginning to get some much needed satisfaction.

Although this year that ended in a 7 was famously good for music, Andrew and Dan unfortunately stumbled onto a sunshine pop hit this week that's probably best left forgotten. It did, however, jog loose a memory of a mid-2000s soda commercial, so we'll chalk that up as a win!

In their second ever episode of "Number Two with an Empty Shell Casing," Andrew and Dan visit a song that never made it to the top of the charts. But that didn't stop Eddy Grant's electronic reggae hit from being an absolute banger, and oddly relatable in the year 2020.

Get your tinfoil hats on everybody, because this episode gets a little weird. In addition to their discussion of Ri-Ri's big crossover hit and Jay Z's taste in bathroom decor, Andrew and Dan slip into the underworld of the illuminati conspiracy nuts. Also, we've got some real deal Oscar talk, baby!

Andrew and Dan return from a week off to discuss the 2014 song of the summer, which, fittingly, brings them into a conversation about cultural appropriation and race in America. Also, the 1995 teen comedy Clueless, because you crazy kids love your '90s nostalgia. 

Black lives matter. Solidarity forever. Links to everything mentioned in this episode: The Read Yo, Is This Racist? Culture Kings Why Won't You Date Me? Still Processing LA Podcast The End Of Policing The New Jim Crow How To Be An Antiracist The Fire Next Time A People's History of the United States 13th (on Netflix) If Beale Street Could Talk (on Hulu)

What would it sound like if an overly excited teenage boy wrote a song about his experience at the high school dance? Well, it might sound a little like this number one single from everybody's favorite late-90s R&B group Next. Though, we think a teenage boy might try to be a bit more subtle...

Well, it finally happened. Andrew and Dan fired up the old time machine and ended up right back where they started, in this very week, in this very year. Luckily, the number one song this week, a charity single from two major pop stars, has enough controversy surrounding it to fill two episodes. Get those controversy hats ready!

When it came time to choose the fourth single for her smash hit album "Teenage Dream" there was really only one choice for Katy Perry. Her fans simply had to hear her song about sexing up an alien creature and the world's hottest rapper simply had to tack on the weirdest verse possible. The result, was something out of this world (sorry)

Disco may be dead, but, for this week at least, it lives on this podcast. Andrew and Dan travel back to the year 1978 when the soundtrack to Saturday Night Fever, a very strange movie, was the biggest thing in the world. 

From the producers who brought you "Up Where We Belong" comes another harrowing tale of a popular musician being asked to write a love ballad for a new movie. This go-around, current Genesis frontman and potential jerk Phil Collins rises to the task and pulls out an old tune he wrote about his divorce. 

In their return to the Billboard charts of 1952, Andrew and Dan discover a story eerily similar to every. single. musician. from. the '50s. But Kay Starr has a few unique things to offer, including a song that one of the boys things might be kind of a banger.

During this trying time, everyday people are being called on to do great things. Andrew and Dan are no different. This week, they make their third journey back to 2018, aka The Year of Drake. One of them has evolved. One of them has not. They are both still nice. But for what?

Venturing into the long-forgotten past of the early 1990s can be treacherous. There's a lot of cheesy production and some very questionable fashion choices. But this week, Andrew and Dan encounter quite the anomaly. The semi-forgotten early '90s hit that may or may not totally and completely slap. You be the judge!