Nuance Needed

How do we raise children who can navigate life's challenges when our instinct is to protect them from every discomfort? We are not parenting experts, but Amanda is a parent and together we come up with some ideas for how we may be able to parent without losing our minds and falling into intensive parenting. In this conversation, we tackle: * The "harbor and ship" metaphor: how parents can provide...

When did raising children become a high-stakes competitive sport? In this extremely nuanced conversation, we are examining the culture of intensive parenting from a parent (Amanda) and a non-parent (Sam). In this conversation, we tackle: * How social media algorithms reinforce parental anxiety by promoting rigid, conflicting approaches * The rise of intensive parenting and the pressure to optimize...

Tired of the stigma and oversimplification around BPD? In this episode with trauma therapist Britt Frank, we're diving into why this controversial diagnosis deserves a complete rethinking. In conversation, we tackle: * Why BPD may be better understood as a response to trauma rather than a "personality disorder" * How clinicians' fear of "difficult clients" perpetuates harmful stigmas * The problem...

Is the 'cool girl’ trope just a patriarchal trap designed to exhaust women? Amanda and Sam tackle this question while sharing their drastically different approaches to being unpopular in school. In conversation, we explore: The phenomenon of "coolness" and how it shapes our identities How social media has created a never-ending popularity contest that extends far beyond high school Breaking down t...

In the second part of our conversation about Sam's Mormon deconstruction, we dive into her emotional journey leaving Utah and the church. In conversation, we explore: - The powerful moment of driving away from Utah and feeling unprecedented relief - The unexpected grief that followed - not about leaving, but about staying so long - The complicated process of deciding what beliefs and values to kee...

In this deeply personal episode, Sam shares her experience growing up Mormon in New York and her eventual move to Utah, where she spent 15 years navigating a much more intense religious culture. In conversation, we explore: - Sam's unique experience as a "non-Utah Mormon" and how her family's more relaxed approach differed from the mainstream - The cultural quirks of Mormonism that most people don...

In this preview episode of Sam's History Corner, Sam shares why she's launching this special series on Substack and gives us a deep dive into the life of Eleanor Roosevelt. In this episode, Sam explores: Eleanor Roosevelt's tragic childhood marked by parental loss and emotional abuse - Why Eleanor's lifelong insecurities never stopped her from taking meaningful action - How we can apply Eleanor's...

Tired of hearing everyone labeled a "narcissist"? In this episode with therapist Britt Frank, we're diving into the nuanced reality of narcissism and why this term is both overused and misunderstood. In conversation, we tackle: * Why labeling everyone a "narcissist" gives too many people too much credit * The key difference between narcissism, being narcissistic, and actually having NPD * The "Nar...

When you're completely depleted, even the smallest decisions feel impossible. In Part 2, we tackle your most pressing questions about recognizing, navigating, and recovering from burnout. In Part 2, we discuss: * The crucial difference between "cosmetic" changes and "structural" problems at work * Why adding self-care tasks can feel like poison when you're exhausted (but it's actually medicine) *...

Is the world rigged for burnout or are we just not trying hard enough? In this episode, we unpack why we're collectively exhausted and how our connected world has created the perfect conditions for burnout to thrive - in ways our brains simply weren't designed to handle This is a two part episode- second one comes out tomorrow! In Part 1, we explore: * Why our brains aren't wired to process inform...

Tired of the oversimplified financial advice flooding social media? In this episode, we're diving into the uncomfortable truth about why money management is 10% math and 90% emotional intelligence with Chelsea Fagan, founder of The Financial Diet. In conversation, we tackle: * How growing up in a low-income household surrounded by affluence shaped Chelsea's complicated relationship with money * Wh...

We are here today with a bit of a last minute casual episode. We recorded this on Thursday April 3rd after watching panic and anxiety on social media and thought it may be helpful to hear Sam give Amanda a pep talk to calm her down about the current state of the country. Skip if you aren't interested in political content. WE ARE NOW ON SUBSTACK with bonus episodes, pep talks, episodes guides, and...

IDK about you but we have THOUGHTS about SkinnyTok trend on Tiktok and how its infiltrating other social media platforms. In this episode, we're diving into the why this trend is problematic and how it's impacting our relationship with our bodies and food. In conversation, we tackle: - Why glorifying thinness as the ultimate goal is a dangerous path to self-hate - How phrases like "nothing tastes...

What happens when the trendy concept of "manifesting" collides with real-life tragedy? In this vulnerable episode, we start discussing manifesting and end up deep in conversation about grief, caregiving, and finding meaning when life doesn't go as planned. In this episode, we explore: - The problem with manifesting coaches who claim "if something negative is happening to you, you're just not manif...

When did telling a friend about a tough time become "trauma dumping"? In this episode, we dissect how misusing therapy concepts is creating barriers to authentic friendship. In conversation, we tackle: The viral text where someone got accused of "trauma dumping" for simply mentioning their grandmother died What trauma dumping ACTUALLY is vs. how it's being misused to shut down normal conversations...

Kate Kennedy, author of One in a Millenial and host of Be There in Five Podcast, is here (!!) for a deep dive into how friendship has fundamentally changed since our own childhoods, and what that means for the next generation. In conversation, we explore: - The lost art of unstructured playtime and being bored - The "no sleepovers" trend - How social media has changed the experience of being left...

Tired of oversimplified self help advice? US TOO! Today we are diving into our controversial take on why we don't like the "Let Them" theory by Mel Robbins. Listen to hear... - The problematic oversimplification in viral mental health theories - Why the original "Let Them" poem by Cassie Phillips carries more depth and nuance - The problem with shame-based approaches to personal development - The...

Ready to get uncomfortably honest about why being "the nice one" is leaving you feeling resentful? This is part 2 of our people pleasing episode. Go listen to the first episode before diving into this one! In conversation, we tackle: * The exhausting cycle of expecting people to read your mind * How avoiding conflict actually creates MORE conflict * Why assertiveness feels like aggression when you...

Buckle up! We get radically candid about our own (very different) journeys with people-pleasing. We share: * How Amanda discovered her "thoughtful gift-giving" was actually manipulation to avoid accountability * Why Sam's role as a childhood caregiver shaped her people-pleasing patterns * How Sam learned to stop apologizing for existing * Their personal struggles with being "the nice one" * Why th...

Tired of understanding all your patterns but still feeling stuck? In this episode, we're diving into the uncomfortable truth about why all that self-help content and therapy insight isn't actually changing your life. In conversation, we tackle: Why being "the self-aware friend" might be your newest form of avoidance How instant access to information is making us worse at solving our own problems W...

Is your commitment to being perfect or good actually the enemy of your growth? In this episode we discuss: - The subtle ways perfectionism masquerades as preparation and protection - How perfectionism can become a form of self-harm and procrastination - The connection (and important differences) between perfectionism and people-pleasing - Why letting go of perfectionism can feel like losing your f...

Want to prevent estrangement in your kids? This is the second part of our conversation with Whitney Goodman, LMFT. For the first part, please listen to the "Calling Home" podcast. In the first part of this conversation, we cover, what social media gets wrong about parental estrangement and what the nuance is that is missing online. In this second part of the conversation, we discuss. - How becomin...

Has "setting boundaries" turned into an excuse for treating people like they're disposable? We're seeing a concerning trend in our therapy rooms: people are using self-care language to justify ghosting, dishonesty, and basic human decency. In conversation, we tackle: The wild disconnect between how we treat strangers IRL vs. potential partners online Why your "I don't owe anyone anything" mindset...

In this raw and personal bonus episode, Sam and Amanda process their feelings on Inauguration Day, sharing a candid conversation about: Dealing with political anxiety and finding hope amid uncertainty Sam's experiences working in healthcare during COVID-19, including confronting conspiracy theorists and managing the hospital's COVID response The importance of local government and understanding pol...

In this candid episode, therapists Sam and Amanda discuss Sam's recent experience with a TikTok going viral. After posting about friendship and flaking culture, Sam faced unexpected backlash leading to a broader conversation about social media, nuance, and connection in today's world. The hosts explore: How legitimate concerns about accessibility and mental health can sometimes be weaponized to av...