Now We're Getting Somewhere

Today I am sharing a concept I've developed over the past year or so. Like most of my best concepts, it came out of my work with my 1:1 clients.   One of my clients was extremely sensitive - which was both an incredible strength for her, and also caused some real suffering. I developed this concept to help her better understand what was going on for her - and also how to move forward.   It turns o...

I'm back with my husband, Gil, to share some ideas about how to communicate with men.   (This is part 2 of the series we started in Episode 31 , where we discussed communicating with women.)   In this episode, Gil and I share our best tips for communicating with men, and pull back the curtain of our marriage a bit, too. You'll hear:   + Why it never worked when I'd (emotionally) ask Gil to "take m...

​​In coaching my male clients, I realized that there were some common challenges that they encountered, in communicating with their female partners — and that I could often help them communicate far more effectively!   Truthfully, I hesitated to make this episode. I don't always love making gender-based generalizations - but I also felt like this was a topic that could help a lot of people.   So t...

On today's podcast, I'm sharing an interview I did with my former client, Julie.   Our coaching work together covered many things – including a deep dive into decision-making + how to get better at it. In our conversation, Julie and I talk about:   + The list of super-useful thoughts she cultivated about decision-making (which you should absolutely steal).   + The 4-part decision-making process sh...

​​One of the most common questions I hear is some form of: so what actually *happens* on a coaching engagement?   This is a great question. After all, life coaching is a relatively new profession, so many people aren't familiar with it. And different coaches run their coaching engagements in different ways.   Today I answer this question in two ways: from a more high-level arc of the overall engag...

In this episode, I talk about intentional technology.   I share the first two big things I did to get intentional about technology years ago.   These are honestly pretty small + easy, but they also give you a big bang for your buck.   So if you want the feeling of having done something for the new year, without actually doing a lot, I think these could be fun places to start.   Subscribe to my new...

Today I am sharing a very specific observation that has some interesting implications during the holiday season.   This is about people who grow up in generally loving, warm, functional families. Obviously this is a blessing, in so many ways.   And yet, I have also observed that people who come from loving and warm and functional families will sometimes have a very specific set of problems, that I...

As we enter the holiday season, I want to offer you an idea that has been really resonating with me in my life, and with my clients as well.   Here it is: Take the next day off.   If you're trying to make an improvement in your life - do the new practice for one day, and then *take the next day off.* Don't do it for two days in a row.   It might sound a little silly, or a little ineffective, but t...

Today I am talking about "what happened" conversations.   A "what happened" conversation is a type of conversation that is incredibly useful when you are in a difficult, resentful, angry, or frustrated situation with someone.   In this episode I explain more about what a "what happened" conversation is, why it's useful, and when to do it. I get specific, sharing some scripts + common mistakes (and...

In this episode, I am talking about the pulling-the-trigger part of decision making. The part when you basically know what you want, but sometimes you hesitate, you feel anxious and indecisive and put off actually making the decision.   I come to this episode as someone who has struggled to make decisions in the past.   I'm sharing five practices or thoughts that have been helpful to me and my cli...

Sometimes what holds people back from getting support is that they don't even realize what kinds of topics coaches can help with.   So in this episode, I share the 10 most common topics that come up in my own life coaching practice. Specificity is so helpful, so as I go through each category, I also share real client examples.   I hope that sharing about these topics (and a peek into some of my cl...

One of the most common questions I hear from potential clients is: "What's the difference between coaching and therapy?"   In this episode, I answer that question in a few ways:   + I share my favorite metaphor about the differences between the fields.   + I talk more about the origins of the fields, differences in training, and also how it can feel different when you are actually in the sessions...

In part 2 of this conversation, I revisit a newsletter reader question about relationships + change.   The reader asks:   "I have done a LOT of work on myself, which has resulted in seeing the world differently, clarifying my values and what kind of life I'd like to live.   "How can I continue on my new path while still accepting if my partner wants to keep going in the old one? (Or how I can enco...

I am answering another newsletter reader question today, a question about relationships + change.   The reader asks:   "I have done a LOT of work on myself, which has resulted in seeing the world differently, clarifying my values and what kind of life I'd like to live."   "How can I continue on my new path while still accepting if my partner wants to keep going in the old one? (Or how I can encour...

On today's podcast, I'm sharing an interview I did with my client, Kara, about her experiences being coached.   Kara came to coaching not because her life was terrible — in fact, it wasn't! She'd gone through more challenging periods in the past, and did have a lot of things she really wanted.   But she felt like there was a disconnect between some of her values, and how she was actually spending...

I recently asked my email newsletter list if they had any questions they'd like for me to answer on the podcast. Today, I answer one of those questions. A high-level summary of the question is: How do I gracefully transition to motherhood, from a career-oriented 30-year old with no kids and no role models? While I don't particularly consider myself a parenting expert, to me this question is really...

One thing I do very, very frequently is help clients with problems like:   "I don't know what I want."   Or: "I don't know what to do about my job or relationship or where to live."   Or: "I feel like my life is off but I'm not really sure what that even means."   I call these "compass problems" — because clients don't know what direction they want to go in, and often, they fear their compass migh...

In this episode, I cover a topic that is close to my heart - adult friendship. And in particular, I talk about the mechanics of making and deepening friendships as an adult.   I share 8 concepts, most of them inspired by the work of Shasta Nelson, that have been extremely helpful for me, and have had very practical implications for how I think about friendship, and approach fostering friendships t...

Today I want to share with you a generally useful prescription.   This prescription is for you, if you're feeling more anxious, down, stuck, frustrated, or uninspired than you'd like.   This is for you if you're convinced you need to throw out all the sugar in your house, or get rid of your smartphone, or quit your job + become a late-night TV comedy writer.   This prescription is like Advil for a...

*"I was stuck…but not for lack of trying."*   On today's podcast, I'm sharing an interview with my client Olivia.   When I met Olivia, she was an engineer at a major corporation. She's a highly intentional, driven, resourceful person (you've gotta hear the story of how she worked the system in college) — but still, she felt stuck + bone-deep exhausted.   She knew part of the problem was *her* — sh...

In today's episode, I'm offering you a radical idea:   At work, your job is to add value . Your job is not to work a specific number of hours.   In 10 Hours Back, my small group coaching program, we put this idea into practice. But I think even sitting with this concept will help you reorient what your job actually is, + find opportunities to make that a reality.   Join the waitlist for 10 Hours B...

Today, I'm sharing a high-level map of everything that you can do to reduce your working hours without sacrificing quality.   If that sounds like a big topic, I agree!   My goal is to share a comprehensive framework, so you can see everything you're doing well, and find your opportunities for growth. Even if you've tried things before, I bet this podcast will help you identify some new areas to wo...

Today I'm talking about a topic that is close to my heart: cultivating work-life balance. We want to show up for our jobs and do good work that we're proud of. And we also want to have time + energy for the things we love outside of work.   I tell the story of my work-life balance role model + inspiration. And I share a new offer I have for anyone looking to work fewer hours each week without sacr...

In today's podcast, I'm sharing an interview with my client, Matt Bruner.   When I first met Matt, he was exhausted, burnt out, and *very* dissatisfied with his job. In fact, he told me on our initial consultation that he'd already decided to quit; it was just a matter of when. Perhaps you can relate?   In our time together, Matt changed his work habits + his thoughts so significantly that he actu...

In a continuation of this two-part series, I'm sharing more of my story. This is where things really get juicy – I share two more big experiences of transformation for me: how they shifted my perspective, and why they led me to become a coach. I've been in the muck and swamp of myself, and I hope that hearing what I've found can be helpful to you, too. Subscribe to my newsletter for encouraging +...