Now That's Smut I'm Talking About

Our words are clean but our quotes are filth as we try our hands at being "Safe for Work," (or at least safe for Grandma) this week! First, Don takes a much closer look at that wiggling wood with Annara Layne's "Railing the Railing: A Sentient Object Romance." Then Taylor tests the tensile strength of.. her ability to filter with, "Handle Me: A MM Hockey Stick Romance" by Unfortunate Reads.

We're back baby and this week we're diving tits first into the twisted terrifying mind of our beloved puppet host, Don. Our "So You Think You Can Smut" extravaganza spirals into a mind-bending, knee-knocking nightmare as Don presents their tale of a hotel haunting, "An Indeterminate Number of Nights at the Endless Desert Hotel and Resort"

If you can't beat 'em off, join 'em! This is So You Think You Can Smut! Using random words, tropes, themes, and challenges, we each wrote our very own spicy stories! First up, this week Taylor shares her physics defying, heart stopping, enemies to fated mates tale, "Electric Love"

Dealer's Choice has returned from the corn field and we finally found the secret seventh way to get it 'til Sunday! Taylor and Don are exploring how country girls make do and getting kicked out of yet another hardware store this week. First Don digs deep into their roots when they cover "Hayseed," by Vera Valentine. Then Taylor finds new and creative uses for lawn tools and becomes even more obses...

It's a Halloweenie miracle! Or perhaps a horror show? Taylor and Don finally mange to accidentally pick the same book!! But have no fear! We're spitting at the HOA and rubbing our plastic fingers all over this pumpkin-spiced nightmare as we get a little too friendly with the lawn decor in, "No Bones About It: A Halloween Sentient Object Romance" by author Cassandra Elizzabeth.

Oh boy! Don't look too closely at that club and make sure you've tied those bells down because we're starting season two with a delicious assortment of Themes ! We've each selected a secret theme for the other to guess. First Don puts themself in a hairy situation with "Breeding With Bigfoot" by author Siggy Shade. Then they sweeten things up a little with author Mia Harlan's "Her Donut Shifters."...

It's the season one finale of Now That's Smut I'm Talking About and we've got our shiniest spurs on. And nothing else. ;) First, Taylor moseys on down to horny cowboy town with with Lainey Lawson's, "Whiskey Weather." Then Don finds an intergalactic home on the range with "Smitten by the Alien Saloon Owner" by author Ursa Dax.

We're so back and we're so traumatized by the feral fantasies that we chose for each other this week! First, we're stuffed, tied up, and wondering what the deal with Kyle is when Don takes a swing at Nicole Parker's, "Smashed". Then Taylor takes us to the podcast's first five star review with the absolutely chaotic "Mating with the Mantis" by author M.J. Edwards.

Smut's in your pants? This week we're weighing the pro's and con's of punching your own dick while exploring the wide and expansive world of fantasy genitalia. First, Taylor dives deep into caves unknown with Sabrina Cross's, "Sentient Pen15 From Outer Space." Then Don mixes and matches with Katee Robert's "The Succubus's Prize."

Life is Sweeter Than Candy and this week we're overly caffeinated and trying not to think about what's in the whipped cream. Don gets things cooking with author J. De Saint's, "The Perfect Ingredient." Then Taylor get a bit of a sugar rush and grows something other than wings with Kaysie Reads', "My Energy Drink Sparks My Kitty."

Happy Pride! This week We're Here, We're Queer, and We're Horny. Be careful not to glue your boobs to the table when Taylor starts us off with Emma Elizabeth's sweet and sapphic, "T!ts Out Slits Out." Then Don celebrates cryptids, the post office, and efficient bisexual threesomes with Chuck Tingle's, "Bisexual Mothman Mailman Makes a Special Delivery in Our Butts."

This week we're sliding on sheets and considering the tensile strength of your average hat, because it's once again time for Dealer's Choice. First, Don gets a green thumb with Fannie Tucker's, "Garden Gnome Sex Party." Then Taylor discovers a conspiracy and possibly a new literary classic with, "I Banged A Vampire And He Didn't Sparkle Like The Bitches In Twilight," by Raven Blackbird.

Taylor and Don are here to rectify your situation, because it's been 15 years since the international smash hit "50 Shades of Grey" by E.L. James taught a bunch of horny moms sort of what BDSM is. In this very special episode, listen to us yell forever about such thrilling topics as: email, Wikipedia, and weak tea. But don't worry, the contract apparently doesn't matter. Expect some genuine afterc...

Computer? I hardly know her! We don't know what this company does but oh boy are we surrounded by horny technology! First, Taylor returns to the fascinating mind of Leonard Delaney with, The Office Photocopier Wants to Have Sex With Me. Then Don accepts a little customer assistance in, Scanned and Stuffed: Taken by the Horny Self-Checkout Machine by Skye MacKinnon and Philomena MacKinnon. (TW Gore...

We've written ourselves into your ears this week with 'Freakier than Fan-Fiction!' Don delivers a research and rant-driven dive into the history and fascinating current of fan-fiction as an art form. Then Taylor launches into a wholesome, bisexual reimagining of everyone's favorite study group with GreendaleHumanBeing's, You Run My Mind, Boy. Finally, Don considers breakfast food representative re...

It's time for Dealer's Choice again, and we're sucking on chocolate eggs and asking the age old question, 'If a pair of pants wore pants, how would they wear the pants?' First, Don dresses down with My Date with a Pair of Gray Sweatpants by Dakota Cockaday as Cassi O. Peia. Then, Taylor wishes for a bit of sugar with Bethanie Loren's, Eggcellent.

All aboard, and buckle up! This week we're talking "planes, trains, and automobiles" and we've got two books HOT off the presses! Taylor gets the engine steaming with Railed: A Why Cho-Cho-Choose Romance by Zane E. Stori. Then Don takes the scenic route to boner town with Brake Me, by Athena Bliss and Marluxia Bliss.

Looks like you're looking for the worst rated smut ever, can we assist you with that? We've wandered into "1 star, would not recommend" territory! Don gets the totally chill and normal party going with Giselle Renarde's, Rainbow Night. Then Taylor takes to the chopter and considers the plot importance of jiggle physics in Leonard Delaney's, Conquered by Clippy.

Prepare for the robo-pocalypse and don't forget what your toaster is made of, because this week Taylor and Don are finding horny objects "Around the House." Taylor starts off by demonstrating some unusual new cleaning methods with H.G. Vacuus', Ravished by Roomba. Then Don gets hot under the crust and yells for a while at P.P. Stroker's, Toast Me Gently.

Hop onboard! It's Dealer's Choice again and we're tooting out some cocaine jazz on our way down this yeasty river. First, Don learns to give back with Thea Masen's, Stiff: An Inanimate Object Shifter Romance. Then Taylor plays a little ditty with Nora Noodle's, French Horny: An Erotic Sentient Instrument Romance.

Got Milk? We sure do this week! First, Taylor takes on alternative employment with Jocelyn Sinrose's, Private Hucow: Filled and Fertile. Then Don gets surprisingly cozy with 24 ounces of C.M. Nascosta's, Morning Glory Milking Farm.

We've landed in the XXX files, because this week we're hunting for horny cryptids! First, Don sends chills all up and down ya with two selections from author, Sibley Stamps: Naked with the Fresno Nightcrawlers, and Used by the Hatman. Then Taylor takes flight with a pair of cutie patooties in Elaine J. Daniels', Mesmerized by the Moth Woman.

We return once again to the fuzzy bosom of "Dealer's Choice"! And this time, we doubled up! First, Taylor shoots us into the pool with Holly Wilde's, SPF Me. Then Don gives a fire safety seminar with Holly Wilde's, Laid by the Lint Trap Monster. Completing the Holly Wilde hat trick, Taylor boils up trouble with, The Deviled Egg Made Me Do it. Then Don ties it all to the ceiling with Fanny Tucker's...

Omega-oh-me-oh-my! There's fur exploding in all directions and everyone's pregnant! Today we take a mildly informed trip into the Omegaverse! After a quick informative quiz, Don locks us in their basement and takes a bite of Colbie Dunbar's, Mated to the Mob. Then Taylor shows us a radical mind movie with L.C. Davis's, Bro and the Beast.

In this "Cold as Ice" episode, we're trapped in a sauna and deeply worried about the risotto. First, Taylor considers the anatomy of a jug in Vera Valentine's, Cold Sweat. Then Don gets a head wound and disappoints HR in Cleo White's, Chilled and Thrilled.