Notes to Myself

Sit with Aqsa started during one of the hardest seasons of my life. A mental health struggle that made the smallest things feel impossible. When I went looking for stories that matched where I actually was and not where I was supposed to be, I found nothing. I kept coming back deflated, convinced I was the outcast. And then God did what God does. Years later, mid-sentence in a recording, it hit me...

The first time I described Islam to a friend I told her it feels like standing near the ocean, with the breeze brushing your face and the rhythmic sound of waves sending serenity through your body. I was born a Muslim but I accepted Islam in 2021 while an Imam was reciting shahada for three men on YouTube. I was the fourth. When I wholeheartedly accepted Islam it was difficult. Not in terms of que...

You ever catch yourself saying things like: “You’re a failure. You can’t do anything right. Of course you messed up again”? Yeah… that was me last week. I was struggling to make sense of a lot of things and instead of giving myself space, I turned cruel, harsh, unforgiving and honestly brutal. That’s when it hit me: if I talked to a friend like that, I’d never forgive myself. We wouldn’t even say...

Have you ever wondered how something that looks so chaotic , like boxing, can end up being the thing that calms you? For me, this is the first real chapter of my “Notes to Myself.”A reminder to appreciate the risks I took, even the ones I never imagined for myself. Growing up in Pakistan, I never saw myself as the “sporty” person. Gender roles box you in quietly - not loudly, not intentionally -bu...

This is the start of something I wish existed when I needed it the most. I am 28, but it genuinely feels like I have lived so many versions of myself. Every struggle, every shift, every phase just shapes you into someone new. And for the longest time, during my hardest moments, I felt like I had no one I could truly relate to. Yes, friends are there. Yes, sometimes they are not. But when you are a...