Not Allowed to Die

In this show I begin by endorsing Brene Brown's Atlas of the Heart series on HBO Max.  Then I lament how I hesitate to share it more broadly out of fear of being labeled as "woke" or an SJW (social justice warrior), which is a shame as we should embrace being an ally and not be afraid to share it.  Then I dive into the dilemma of mixed signals from friends and how to respond to them. &nb...

Some friendships are so strong they need a different name.  I have never seen men have one so I associate them most with women.  What happens when one of these fryndships (a non romantic love bond stronger than even a powerful typical friendship) dies.   How does a person learn to open again and can that be a trauma?  

Is good the enemy of great when it comes to relationships?  In this episode I explore some things I encourage clients to think about when they are trying to determine if a relationship can be improved or if we should leave and move on.  The 3 F's of what don't work in change, and the 4 R's of what we need to do to change get reviewed here as well.  Also, Mariska gets pretty manipula...

In this episode we explore how to stop gas lighting yourself, consume the hard medicine of negative feedback, and define that you can achieve.  

This week I had three clients whose partners (who all happened to be male) just left and were not willing to even try to work on the relationship.  This is a podcast in a little of the why that can lead to a partner choosing to just leave.  

In this episode I talk about the bravery of one of my students calling me out when I mis-gendered him on the podcast.  How to react to negative feedback and learn from it.  I also talked about the joy of starting a new group at my school and how I hope it will go.  

What do you do if a friend says something scary and they are not responding?!  We go through some of the steps and options in this episode.  Plus how to handle getting cut from badminton.  

One of my clients was reminding me the major impact that parents cheating can have on the kids.  This episode is an exploration of that.  

If you ever do dumb things and want to stop, this episode explores how we figure out what we are getting from those behaviors and how to find other ways of meeting those needs.  There is also a surprise interruption (or two) in this episode and some reveal of how the Not Allowed to Die podcast is made.  

This is a toe dip into the waters of how to get supports from schools and a bit from the perspective of the school.  I have a lot more to say on this topic since this is my primary gig, but the episode was running long so if you have questions please send them along.  

TRIGGER WARNING!  In this episode I react to the death of my 26 year old nephew by suicide on 1/24/22.  It may be difficult to listen to so if this is a topic you find triggering please skip this one.  I share my personal experience of dealing with this overwhelming situation.  Hopefully there will be something useful in it. 

Does being an adult suck?  Does it have to?  What does it even mean?  

What do you do if you do not share the faith of the person you are dating?  How does this impact how you will raise your children?  Can atheists and Christians find common ground?  

What do you do when you have a family member that may be toxic to others.  How do you warn people to steer clear?  

Most of us stink at prioritizing self care, in today's podcast I talk about some tips of how to work self care into your day in ways that are realistic and sustainable.  

Depression is more than just a parasite, it is something our brain uses to shut us down.  Why?  What is the allure of hopelessness?  How do I sometimes benefit from things that I feel I hate and really want to change.  

I am far from an expert in any of these areas but I offer a few thoughts on my lens in which I view analyzing and interpreting areas where our subconscious may be sharing more than our conscious mind is ready to express.  

In this episode I discuss how to determine if you should commit the time and financial resources to therapy or just work things out on your own.  Also I give my views on remote therapy options like BetterHelp and Talk Space (not sponsors...yet).  

Many of my clients are feeling disappointed that they cannot get excited for the holidays.  This is a brief episode about how to set appropriate expectations for how we may feel during the holidays. 

Why do we go back to partners that kinda sucked?  This episode is an exploration of the draw of a partner who has already let us down so many times that they can't really disappoint us anymore (or can they?).  I close with some tips on how to help people we care about who keep returning to unhealthy relationships.   

This weekend I went to two funerals for people who died before their time due to complications from dementia and/or alzheimer's.  I share some observations about how grieving can be different in cases when there is a death after a long illness or when a person was struggling and the complex feelings that can create.  

Self Injury is typically not life threatening it is an unhealthy coping skill.  We often use impulse control logs to treat them.  The segments of the log are:  time, place, location, trigger, feeling, want to feel, options tried, result.    https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/471279.Bodily_Harm   That is a link to the book Bodily Harm, referenced in the episode. &nbsp...

Some things teens hate and some ways to get them chatting.  

In this episode I explore how to determine if you can fix your relationship with your therapist or if it is time to move on.  

In this episode I break down the continuum of mental health support from chatting with friends to residential treatment and the factors that might lead a person to need a higher or less intense level of care.