None of My Business

Why do toxicity and good sex seem to go together? Asking for a friend. This week, the astonishing writer and comedian Amy Silverberg joins Sophia and Kelsey to read as Sawyer*, a 33-year-old who grew up Christian and "literally so horny" but still manages to have the same 24 hours in a day as Beyoncé. They've got stories that include a wildly shocking first time having penetrative sex, a very mess...

The rumors are true: Everyone in the military is sleeping with each other. This week, the hilarious comedian Lucy Grebin joins Sophia and Kelsey to read as Aurora*, a twice-married 23-year-old who served as a medic in the Army. She’s got stories that include a family of Napoleon Dynamites, peeing on a guy’s windshield, and mommy issues during sex—tune in for a wild ride. *Not Aurora’s real name, b...

Get ready, we’re going to ShipRocked. This week, Sophia and Kelsey welcome Tyler Bender, the hilarious comedian and host of ‘Tyler’s Kitschen’! Tyler is reading as Lindsey*, a cool 35-year-old divorcèe who tells us all about her toxic first husband. Join in to hear tales that include a cruise ship hookup, a best friend betrayal, and the most cursed proposal you could ever imagine. *Not Lindsey’s r...

When planning group sex, don’t forget the snacks. This week, Sophia and Kelsey are welcoming a very special guest: our producer, Justin Sayles! He gives us a glimpse at life behind the scenes of NOMB before reading as Natalie*, a free spirit who loves the single life and has never had her heart broken. She shares stories about dating men in open relationships, getting the ick from driving barefoot...

Is it ever a good idea to tell your partner you're no longer attracted to them? This week, Sophia and Kelsey are joined by the hilarious Kevin T. Porter, host of the podcast ‘Good Christian Fun’ and proud owner of a middle initial. He’ll be reading as Haven*, who, upon leaving a religious cult, was ready to explore sex without restrictions. Listen up to hear stories about Harry Potter fanfic, drip...

What happens when your spouse suddenly loses interest in sex? This week, the hilarious Brett Dodenhoff, cohost of the new podcast ‘Lust to Dust: My Horny Dead Dad,’ joins Sophia and Kelsey to talk about his late father’s sex memoir. He then reads as Frank*, a 58-year-old doctor who we can confidently diagnose as a wife guy. Listen in to hear his tales of horny orchestra students, sex after stitche...

It’s time to enter the sex dungeon. This week, Sophia and Kelsey are joined by the amazing Annapurna Sriram: writer, director, and star of the new movie ‘Fucktoys’! She offers her insight as a trained dominatrix as she reads as Kyra*, an adventurous Jesus camp alum who’s a cunnilingus expert and has hooked up with celebs. Get ready to be serenaded by a pan flute and tune in. *Not Kyra’s real name,...

"The Roster" With Sydney Kane In which we learn about the world of “dollification.” It’s the last week of Freaky February, and Sophia and Kelsey are joined by the great Sydney Kane: actor, singer, and creator of the musical comedy special ‘Wife Material.’ Sydney will be reading as Stella*, a 44-year-old research queen with an impressively organized sex life (complete with incredible nicknames for...

We’re heading to the horniest department store in town. It’s another edition of Freaky February, and Sophia and Kelsey are joined by the hilarious actor and comedian Avery McClure! Avery will be reading as Christy*, a 45-year-old mom whose stories include diapers, peacocks, and hooking up with coworkers (and their brothers). Find a comfy hay bale and tune in to a fun one. *Not Christy’s real name,...

Genuine question: Can you invite people to an orgy on Partiful? Freaky February continues with the great actor and comedian Mackinlee Waddell, who tells Sophia and Kelsey about her experience getting divorced before role-playing as Briauna.* Jump in to hear juicy stories about hookups in Iceland, surprise fisting, and finding your partner’s Bumble account.*Briauna is not her real name, but these a...

When the pussy so good he adjusted his whole moral compass… The hilarious Tamara Yajia, author of ‘Cry For Me, Argentina: My Life as a Failed Child Star,’ has returned for Freaky February, in which Sophia and Kelsey are switching places! Tam will be reading as Catherine*, who tells us about her torrid romances involving Holy Thursday sex, LARPing, and a whole lot of fringe. *As always, Catherine i...

A dispatch from the college dorm’s lesbian floor. This week, Sophia and Kelsey welcome the hilarious comedian Skyler Higley, a writer for the Oscars and Kelsey’s former high school classmate! He’ll be reading as Mira*, a cool Los Angeleno with endless charisma (and zingers). Tune in to hear a fun one about an unfortunate-smelling roommate, doing homework for a crush, and a sexual encounter on a pi...

In which we analyze the psychological appeal of secret sex. This week, Sophia and Kelsey introduce us to the very endearing (and very horny) Mason*, a sweet San Diegan who’s open to just about anything. Reading as Mason is the great Holly Solem: ‘Playgirl’ columnist, host of Manthropology TV, and author of HollyWould. Jump in to hear Mason tell us about his ex’s controlling family, a thorny love t...

You’ll never look at Monster Energy cans the same way. Get ready to meet Kennedy*, an L.A. gal with strong feelings on length vs. girth. And reading as Kennedy will be the incomparable Jodi Walker, host of We’re Obsessed on the Ringer Podcast Network. Join Jodi, Sophia, and Kelsey as they explore Kennedy’s wild tales about stagnant water, penis pumps, and one guy’s little-too-comfortable relations...

Surprise group sex! The Torture Garden! A sweet man at the center of it all! This week, we’ll meet Oliver*, a 50-year-old bloke from London with a fun past and hopefully fun future ahead of him. And reading as Oliver will be The Ringer’s Nora Princiotti, cohost of We’re Obsessed and Every Single Album. So cuff yourself to your chair and stay tuned, because it’s a fun one. (*Not Oliver’s real name,...

Pick yourself up from the living room floor and lock in, because we’ve got a fun one involving Craigslist Missed Connections, BDSM, and some jaw-droppingly terrible exes. Today, Sophia and Kelsey welcome one of our favorite comedians and noted wife guy Josh Gondelman to the middle chair. Josh is reading as Nina*: a Brooklyn gal who introduced us to the idea of gang-bang concierges and the phrase “...

Dirty talk, the right way. This week, we’re joined by the illustrious Charles Holmes, veteran of many Ringer podcasts as well as of the L.A. dating scene. And Charles is reading as Pippa*, a fun gal from London with some fun stories. On the docket is an affair with a bandmate, the real key to sexy bedroom talk, and some wild icks that, when you think about it, make a ton of sense. (*Not her real n...

In which we learn that writing a newsletter can get you (almost) laid. This week on None of My Business, we meet Luke*, a 33-year-old whose love language is coordinated outfits and has a particularly shocking story about the one who got away. And joining Sophia and Kelsey to read as Luke is the hilarious comedian Carter Hambley. (*As always, not Luke’s real name, but definitely his real stories.)...

Get ready to find out what asynchronous swinging is. This week, we welcome on Rachel Lindsay, a former Bachelorette and the host of the esteemed Ringer podcasts Higher Learning and Morally Corrupt. Rachel will be helping us share stories from Jessica* that include fun with polyamory, a spicy hookup in the kitchen, and a lot more. (*As always, not her real name, but definitely her real stories.) Th...

This week, we’re fanning the flames of love with stories about a wild date with an arsonist, an international affair to remember, and some hands-on research. Joining us in the middle chair is the hilarious Blair Socci, whose voice you may recognize from ‘Bob’s Burgers,’ the ‘Aqua Teen Hunger Force’ movie, or her amazing new podcast, ‘Spaced Out With Blair Socci.’ Blair will be reading as “Corrine”...

Love is a battlefield. Literally. Today, we bring you a tale that involves a breakup at Gettysburg, a wild hotel balcony incident, and a mysterious sex god named Don who’s had a little bit of trouble with TSA. And sharing these stories is the hilarious Tamara Yajia, author of the new book ‘Cry for Me, Argentina: My Life as a Failed Child Star’ and someone who enjoys a good time at Jumbo’s Clown Ro...

Get ready to get tossed around, WWE style. Today, we welcome EJ Marcus, the hilarious comedian and writer on the new HBO show, ‘I Love LA.’ He’ll be reading as Delaney*, a 31-year-old from Ithaca who describes herself as “culturally a lesbian, but bisexual." Join us as we break down stories about random BDSM hookups, what it’s like being the third in TWO separate relationships, and a nightmare of...

An episode heavy on crime: shoplifting, missing people, and overdue porno tapes. This week, we welcome on the one and only Van Lathan, the host of Ringer podcasts such as Higher Learning, Midnight Boys, and Ringer Tailgate. He’ll be reading as Valentina*, a woman who’s had her fair share of weird exes and heartbreak, but is managing to dance her way through it all. (*Not her real name, definitely...

Lock in, because it’s Bosco Sticks Day. This week, we’ve got a special story about the most fun girl in Cincinnati. Join us as the hilarious Sam Taggart from Straightiolab reads as Annie*, a nanny who had a slightly complicated relationship with one of her bosses. (*Not her real name, definitely her real stories.) Today’s business includes … 00:00: The cringe of early dating.06:35: Our guest: Sam...

Toss on your goggles and head to the playa with us, because we have a fun one for you. This week, we're joined by Greta Titelman, the amazing actor and comedian you may recognize from 'Search Party,' 'Los Espookys,' and 'Problemista.' She'll be reading as "Lucas*"—a ladies' man from Los Angeles with some tales about Burning Man and a threesome faux pas that nearly ended a friendship, plus one grou...