No Visible Bruises

Today's episode is about positive psychology and how I use it in the work I do. First, we will define what positive psychology is and talk about its origin and purpose. Then we will go through the PERMAH model, and finally, we will discuss post-traumatic growth and why we must remain curious about it.  What You Will Learn In This Episode: - What positive psychology is, and where it comes from - Wh...

In this episode, we will talk about the diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). We will analyse the nine traits determined by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) to diagnose the narcissistic disorder. We will also talk about covert narcissists, the difficulties with getting a diagnosis and how it impacts the victims of abuse, and the issues with medicalisi...

In today's episode, we will talk about something I get asked a lot - are narcissists born that way? We will discuss the impact of intergenerational trauma on a narcissist's development, the role of their protective parts, and the root causes of their behaviour. What You Will Learn In This Episode: - Why we say that narcissists are formed and not born - The connection between a narcissist's interge...

In this episode, we will discuss a controversial topic - can narcissists be cured? To answer this, we will consider two antagonising positions, those who say it is possible, those who say it can't be done, and we will also look at the middle ground. Most importantly, we will focus on the things we can change in our relationship with the narcissist.  What You Will Learn In This Episode: - The issue...

Today, we will talk about the magnetic relationship between narcissists and codependents. We will dive deep into their origins, why they attract each other, and why they seem like a match made in heaven - or more accurately, made in hell.  What You Will Learn In This Episode: - Why certain people only attract narcissists to their love life - The role of the worthiness wounds in codependents' and i...

In this episode, we will talk about what happens when the narcissist knows you figured everything out, and what we can expect when they show their true colors. I will share a bit of my story with my ex-husband, and what happened when I confirmed my suspicions about him, and I let him know that I knew everything I needed to know.  What You Will Learn In This Episode: - How narcissists diminish the...

Today, we celebrate our 50th episode together, and we will talk about why I've decided to rebrand. I’ll share with you my true purpose, why I've decided to start focusing on post-traumatic growth, and how we can reclaim our power.  What You Will Learn In This Episode: -What can we do to take back the power we gave to the narcissist -Why focusing on post-traumatic growth rather than abuse changes t...

Today, we will talk about the grief after narcissistic abuse, and the feeling of loss we experience after losing our parent-child connection, our home, or the family we envisioned having. We will discuss every stage we go through after the divorce, and how each one leads to the other. I'll share what I experienced after my divorce, and what I did to change how I responded to my ex-husband after th...

In this episode, we will talk about the difference between narcissistic abuse and narcissistic trauma. We will analyse and understand the origin of the trauma produced by narcissistic abuse, why narcissistic behaviour triggers memories of past events in our lives, and how we can reclaim our power.  What You Will Learn In This Episode: - Why we choose to stay in abusive relationships  - The differe...

In today's episode, we will discuss what happens when we end a relationship with a narcissist. We will analyse why the abuse continues after the end of the relationship, and why narcissists smear our reputation when we are the ones who decide to separate or divorce. I'll share some of my own experiences, and how I learned to stop judging myself and others in narcissistic abusive relationships.  Wh...

This week we will answer a question that many people ask themselves after an abusive relationship - can a narcissist change their spots? We will dive deep into why those abused start doubting themselves, and understand why our narcissistic ex-partners seem happy and fulfilled in their new relationship.  What You Will Learn In This Episode: - Why we start doubting ourselves after breaking up with t...

Today I'm joined by the extraordinary Danette May, America’s leading healthy lifestyle expert, #1 best-selling author of “The Rise,” and 7 health and fitness books and programs. She is a co-founder and CCO of Mindful Health, LLC (#48 on the Inc. 5000 List), dedicated founder of The Rise movement, world-renowned motivational speaker, wife, and mother. Danette's rise began after losing her son durin...

Today I’m sharing with you a fantastic conversation with Ross Rosenberg. Ross Rosenberg M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, is the owner of   Self-Love Recovery Institute . He is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness and author. Ross is known globally for his expertise in  codependency  (Self-Love Deficit Disorder), Pathological Narcissism,  Narcissistic Abuse  and  Trauma Treatment . He is a keynote speaker...

Today, we will talk about why we feel WE need to change after all the abuse received from the narcissist in our lives. To help us see this issue from a different lens, we use the Internal Family System perspective, and we will understand why we feel that way.  What You Will Learn In This Episode: - What is the reason behind our protective parts making us feel angry or frustrated - The consequence...

In this episode, we will dive deeper into a question that I get asked a lot - am I turning into a narcissist? We will talk about why we start to notice some narcissistic behaviours in ourselves after going through an abusive relationship with a narcissist.  What You Will Learn In This Episode: - Why those victimised by a narcissist start exhibiting narcissistic behaviour - What the mirror neurons...

In today's episode, we will talk about narcissists and empathy. We will go through the three types of empathy and explain which area of the brain is responsible for each of them, so we can understand better why, according to the DSM, narcissists lack empathy.  What You Will Learn In This Episode: - The three types of empathy - cognitive, emotional, and compassionate - The three main areas of the b...

In this episode, we will talk about the shame and judgment that those who stay in a narcissist relationship suffer from others and from themselves. We will dive deep into the reasons behind the decision to stay in an abusive relationship, and how to be more compassionate towards those who make such decisions.  What You Will Learn In This Episode: - How our protective parts don't know what happines...

The third and final interview segment with Sam Vaknin is perhaps the most triggering, as we discuss the concepts of victim, victimhood, and being victimized by a narcissist. We also analyze Sam's view on victimization and victimhood as new social trends and part of the tribalism we live in nowadays.  What You Will Learn In This Episode: - What happened to us is not what we are - Why people idolize...

This is part two of the fantastic interview with Professor Sam Vaknin. In this episode we talk about narcissistic abuse from a social perspective, and how we, as society members, deal with abusers and victims. We dive deep into the danger of labelling people, and discuss the idea of fluidity between the roles of victims and abusers.  What You Will Learn In This Episode: - The counterproductive ten...

This episode is the first part of an enlightening interview with Sam Vaknin, Professor of Psychology & Finances at the Southern University of Rostov-on-Don, Russia, PhD in Philosophy and Physics, and author of the book "Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited."  In this first of a three-episode series, we talked about why the narcissistic abuse experience is different from other abusive relation...

Today, I want to talk about what happens after we break up with a narcissist, what we should expect from them, and how to prevent being affected by what they can do or say to us and our closest friends.  What You Will Learn In This Episode: Safety is your number one priority What to do when our reputation is being shredded by the narcissist The narcissist and their army of flying monkeys What driv...

This week we are talking about relationships after narcissistic abuse. But to talk about future relationships, we need to look at our past and what we learned about love when we were children.  What You Will Learn In This Episode: The three parts of our brain and what their roles are Where the belief that the world is a dangerous place comes from How to use the knowledge about how our mind works i...

In today's episode, we will talk about future generations and narcissism. We will explore and analyze kids' trauma responses to being with a narcissist and the best ways to help them deal with it. What You Will Learn In This Episode: The importance of breaking the trauma cycle and teaching self-love to our kids Parallel parenting as the best choice for co-parenting with a narcissist The fourth tra...

This episode is about the controversy around the diagnosis of a narcissist and its medicalisation. Should narcissists be medicalised? And if they should, how does it affect those who've been involved with a narcissist? What You Will Learn In This Episode: The problem with medicalisation of a certain problem Why Complex PTSD doesn't go away with a sense of retribution The beauty of hindsight in the...

One of the narcissist types that is hardest to identify is the covert narcissist. Today we will go through a covert narcissist's behavioural traits, the ways they get their narcissistic supply, how that makes us feel, and how to deal with that behaviour. What You Will Learn In This Episode: What happens when a narcissist agrees to go to therapy Why covert narcissists are so hard to identify How th...