No Crying In Baseball

Nothing like an Adley HR against BOS the first day of spring training to spike co-host conflict, er, cause  us to demonstrate how one should behave in civil society. Patti’s vocabulary lesson is “pillow contract” in the context of Belli and Tim . Hosmer retires leaving behind a range of feels. Tim Mayza’s fantasy league punishment may send our FBBL all sorts of questionable ways. It’s always a cha...

Spring training has begun, there are still key free agents out there, there’s some arbitration scorekeeping to do, and will it take all five years to get some women on the short list for the next commissioner of baseball? This week we talk boyfriends on the World Series champion Rangers – Jonah Heim for Pottymouth and Patti’s early claim on Evan Carter is confirmed. Over at the Phils, Pottymouth v...

The Royals lock down Bobby Witt, Jr . for 11 years, and HOU says yes to Jose Altuve for another five. The arbitration scoreboard is currently tipped in the players’ direction at the halfway point, including a record-setting win for Vladdy. We wish Corey Kluber all the best in his retirement, Patti with much happier memories than those of Pottymouth. This week we look at Toronto, where Pottymouth s...

Patti is practically giddy with new ownership and a new Ace for the Os. Our new guys for Seattle are actually the newest guys for Seattle, Jorge Polanco and Samad Taylor . For Miami, Pottymouth selects Vidal Bruján and Patti makes it two consecutive De La Cruz weeks with her pick of Bryan. We cross train hard with hockey, from our cask-beer fueled hockey shoot out, to Joey Votto menacing mascots,...

Not sure if it is our pride or our ages talking but we’ve reached the point where active players we’ve profiled on the show are now Hall of Famers. Congrats to Joe Mauer and Adrian Beltre , and also to Todd Helton even if he was before our (NCiB) time. The hot stove takes Philly favorite Rhys Hoskins to MIL, and brings Cookie Carrasco home to CLE. Joc Pederson tries out yet another NL West team, a...

Snow days are fun but they do not keep us from thinking about the boys of summer. It’s always tricky for us to pick our NYY bfs because of, well, general vitriol. But we persevere and end up disliking the team a little less. Pottymouth wants the team to give Oswaldo Cabrera a real shot, and Patti can’t help appreciating the deep fandom in Anthony Volpe’s family. For the Reds, Pottymouth goes for t...

Supersized weekend, supersized episode! Who do we want to have a beer with this week? Pottymouth plays her once and forever card and hangs on to Vaughn Grissom , now that he’s with the Red Sox.  Patti selects Harper superfan Masataka Yoshida and his little dog too. For the Padres, Pottymouth gets to say Anzoátegui in reference to José Azócar and Patti picks home run trick shot hitter Matthew Batte...

Character counts, making Bs more valued than As in Oakland. Elsewhere in the Police Blotter the Wander Franco story is growing into a flat out horror show.  In a much happier place, we profile guys from the Tigers and Giants.  For DET, Pottymouth selects Heart and Hustle nominee Matt Vielring and Patti goes for his almost twin Gold Glove finalist Zach McKinstry . For San Francisco, it’s the Grands...

We kick off our own New Years Rockin’ Eve with boyfriends from the Guardians and Pirates. Pottymouth goes hopeful with CLE prospect Kyle Manzardo , and Patti selects Will Brennan , Tito’s pal from way back. For PIT, Liover Peguero plays right into  Pottymouth’s  English teacher heart while Patti looks to  her roots with Jack Suwinski . The Red Sox bring on Giolito and trade away Sale and Pottymout...

The Dodgers claim Yamamoto and Patti claims Dodgers pitching for FBBL, just that fast. Just when we thought Verdugo could not sink any lower, he goes after his former manager for holding him accountable for his actions, and forces us to agree, a little, with Papelbon . This week’s boyfriends represent LAA and NYM. Pottymouth selects LAA catcher Logan O’Hoppe , not just because it is fun to say his...

Ashley Kelly is the real hero of the Shohei Ohtani deal but we break it down anyway because it lets Patti do math and reference the Disney Prince, Betts, Freeman, and Yamamoto, but not the dog. Pottymouth leans into the CWS history with Cuban player and selects Oscar Colás Leon , while Patti picks brand new teammate and exceptional dad, veteran catcher Max Stassi. Our STL bfs include  Pottymouth’s...

Just when you thought the Soto trade was going to be the news of the week, Ohtani signed with LAD , pushing contract numbers so far into Monopoly money they may never come back. The rest of the league was busy playing “where’s Evan,” bringing Fedde back from the KBO, and moving around more Nicks. In our second week of profiling boyfriends, we look at the Royals and our hometown Nationals. Pottymou...

Boyfriend season begins with Pottymouth checking in after an afternoon of visiting breweries in Tennessee (be warned). We lead off with Oakland and Colorado – Pottymouth choosing a pair of Diaz-es (what’s the plural of Diaz?), Jordan and Elias , and Patti selecting yet another Nick and also Nolan 2.0 . Awards continue to trickle in, including a team philanthropic award to the Reds for an impressiv...

This Thanksgiving weekend Patti and the Pottymouth cross-trained with hockey, Led Zeppelin, assembling IKEA furniture, beer farms, and unsuccessful mousing. MLB players, however, leaned into the giving with Andrew Vaughn working with Digs for DIgnity to assist a family emerging from homelessness, Hunter Greene outfitting hundreds of kids with brand new cleats, and Pablo López supporting pet rescue...

We couldn’t be more pleased with the unanimous votes for RoY and MVP.  Not so thrilled with the owners voting unanimously to send Oakland’s team to Vegas. Props to Gunnar for his sexy defense and leading all rookies in HRs, and to Corbin for being the first Diamondback to win RoY, and the first ever to win with 25HRs and 50SBs. Shohei’s second MVP win was a surprise to no one and Miggy’s enthusias...

It was a “pretty fun day” for Stephen Vogt , named manager for the Guards, less so for David Ross in the surprise loss of his CHI gig, and downright polarizing in regards to Craig Counsell ’s historic contract prompting another manager to muse about unionization. The Gold Glove and Silver Slugger awards lead Mauricio Dubón for multiple Honduran firsts, Ha Seong Kim to a first for Asian-born MLB pl...

After supporting the local adult-beverage economy in honor of Pottymouth’s birthday, we give a little love to the World Series, including the parade with dogs , flying beer, mic drops , and possibly chaps , and move on to Hot Stove Season. Patti previews what to expect when – options accepted and declined, qualifying offers, trades, and full-on free agent negotiations. We ponder big moves like Joe...

Still haven’t thrown in for a World Series team?  We provide a helpful pro and con list featuring social justice fails, hockey , questionable music, and outstanding rookies. Merrill Kelly becomes an unlikely hero, Ketel Marte picks up where he left off in 2017, Tommy Pham keeps us scratching our heads, and the kids are making their marks. At Dusty ’s request we say “see you later” instead of goodb...

Recording right after Games 5 in the LDS, one would think we would be all postseason all the time.  You haven’t met Pottymouth. Prepare to be schooled on how being pro-Israel is not the same as standing up against anti-semitism,  and we’re not sure all the baseball players in that video understand that. Also that our supporting the right of athletes to speak out on issues that matter to them in no...

Liam is our favorite Castellanos but Nick is a close second.  Pottymouth is rightfully preening over her pre-season pick of Corbin Carroll. Patti calls early dibs on Evan Carter for next season. There was so much more going on in  that 15 pitch at bat between Nathaniel Lowe and Dean Kremer than met the eye. Every single team in the final four has players we love to watch, so we dug deeper for our...

One game into the Division Series, Patti and guest host Alexander Dacy remember some guys from the last time the Os and Rangers met in the playoffs, ponder if home field is really an advantage, and wonder if the expanded WC field is good for anyone but MLB’s bottom line. Jose Altuve sets a mark for first pitch homers in the first game of the postseason, as well as HR height differential between pi...

We hit the sweet spot between the end of the regular season and the kick off of the postseason. Corbin makes history, Adley sells some jerseys, Miggy Ro buys the kids Jordans, Myles steals all the bases, and Pottymouth considers extending Juan. Jazz, Josh, and Kim take the Marlins back to the postseason and Cal has things to say about why the Mariners are not there. We say heartfelt goodbyes to Ti...

It’s that part of the season where records are falling, injuries are career changing, and so many playoff berths are still in play. Corbin Carroll and Julio Rodriguez are knocking down milestones for the young folks, Freddie Freeman shows for the older crowd, and Ronald Acuña Jr . is in a category all his own. Joey Votto uses his French (or French accent?  We don’t know!) for the Children’s Theate...

While Patti spent the weekend in her happy place, it was locker clean-out day all over the league. The Rays have purged their clubhouse of all things Wander, and the Dodgers have literally painted Julio Urias right out of  their history. Shohei cleaned out his own locker but may not be completely absent the rest of the season. Pottymouth checks in with some neglected boyfriend and finds that Thair...

This snack-sized episode brought to you by the return of COVID. Was the media just stirring the pot or was it  poking the bear making up conflict between Chas and Dusty ? We are grateful for the banana pudding tidbit outcome, however. Ha-Seong Kim stole five bases last week and may be the first Korean-born MLB player to win a Gold Glove.  Check out this profile in The Athletic. Oswald Peraza teach...