No Crying In Baseball

In this snack size episode, Maisie, our WAZE voice, co-hosts as we record while driving home after Patti and Pottymouth’s excellent adventure. We were billing our Great American Ballpark visit as a showdown between favorite shortstops, but alas Elly didn’t get the memo, nor did he get on base. Bobby did show his MVP chops however. PNC Park continues to be a thing of beauty although not so much the...

Sure there may be nine current MLB players named Jackson but we are only talking about two of them. Chourio takes a Henry Aaron stat, and every day is a homer Holliday anymore. Larry and Gavin Sheets share an unfortunate record but at least they have each other. Logan O’Hoppe celebrates his dad’s remission and helps many others in the process. Jack Flaherty and his mom come full circle. Mallory Sw...

Surprising no one, we talk about the unique stats of Kiké! And Bobby! We can’t help the exclamation points. We attempt to track the movements of our guys to new teams , to new positions in the batting order, and to the OBGYN . Jackson is doing Manny things, and we’re all over those Heart and Hustle winners. Here’s hoping Danny Jansen gets to play for both sides in the same game. Thanks, MLB for sh...

This snack-size episode talks Olympics – baseball next time , baseball-adjacent for now. Salvy has Bobby Junior’s back, and really, everyone else’s too. Manny sure looks good getting his 1000th RBI in Camden Yards, but for the other guys. The Police Blotter provides a teaching moment about what game balls to throw back – not THAT one . Trades are coming at us fast and furious as we approach the de...

Welcome to Junior Pottymouth, sitting in for Patti who is hiding out in the mountains for a week. Junior’s bf Gunnar (you may have heard of him) and Cal Ripken Collegiate Baseball league legend Jordan Westberg combine for one of those stats you can’t believe people track. Pottymouth dazzles with Elly Math, and Bobby Witt just keeps hitting since the all star break. Cal Ripken Collegiate Baseball l...

Better late than never as we squeeze this episode in between the Derby and the ASG. Will, Andres , and Zach do Patti proud with defense that may be lucky but is definitely sexy. Jarren Duran has the f*ck ‘em shirt (and soon Pottymouth will too) but Vaughn has the f*ck ‘em attitude. Kiké is on the bump trash talking Kyle from Waltham, while Kevin and Whit are on the outs. Wander Franco solidifies h...

West Coast Correspondent Deborah brings her field report from an Oakland Ballers game where it’s always Grateful Dead night, and has Patti wishing for a guest announcing gig. Even in Pottymouth’s absence we check in on Jarren Duran and his f*ck em shirt , and Elly getting all team-matey. MJ Melendez gets the Dynasty Card of his dreams from local fans, Jack Suwinski helps PNC Park run out of home r...

We puzzle through giving benefit of the doubt, trusting one’s gut, and considering suspect timing, plus steaming nose emojis when evaluating the off the field actions of players. Jackson Chourio is hot and Pottymouth is here for it. OMG, José Iglesias ! Patti’s new pitcher Gavin Stone nearly has a Maddux, We learn what auto body skills have to do with custom cleats – thanks to Bryson Stott. Our po...

Like a fine single malt scotch, this super-sized episode is packed with sophisticated flavors. We honor the passing of Willie Mays by sharing his legacy through words and not numbers. We look at the first steps that are the Rickwood Field game with the first all-Black umpire team, through the eyes of Masyn Winn , one of the few Black players on the game’s roster, and how far we have to go. In our...

Jonah and José spend Father’s Day weekend shoring up their Dad power. Masyn and Joey have us rethinking our ROY predictions. More of Patti’s pitchers hit the IL, and Pottymouth admits to over-gloating. That’s a real thing. Well-respected umpire Pat Hoberg is the first official to run afoul of MLB’s sports betting rules but he does not think that’s the case. On the happy betting side, Toronto’s 50/...

Join us as we math it out, suss it out, and legitimately incorporate the phrase “Tequila Shots” into a sports discussion. Pottymouth’s roster has an abundance of Ellys and a teaching  moment  about  catching home runs in a full beer .  Her recent history is dotted with Dodgers Hernandi, one for heroics , one for the dangers of being mic’d up while at work. Patti’s team has a pitcher getting booed...

Josh Gibson finally gets his due as greatest hitter of all time, now let’s name the award after him. Stats from the Negro Leagues are finally integrated into the MLB stats and we see how opportunity affects counting stats vs rate stats. Winn and Volpe snap some streaks and in one case we end up with a DiMaggio sandwich. We lose more bfs to the IL –  Grissom is back out, Means and Wells are season-...

We share important life lessons from the wide world of baseball, including, keep your popcorn close , watch the rebound, and tipping the bullpen cart driver is good karma. Patti risks killing streaks by bringing up CLE wins and Volpe hits. Former NCiB boyfriends give Pottymouth a chance to talk about her favorite play, stealing home . LaMonte Wade, Jr takes the upcoming Rickwood Field game honorin...

In which we pin down math around catching foul balls , our medical thoughts of pregnancy vs belly button rings (congrats to Cole Tucker and Vanessa Hudgens BTW), and our astute observation that betting with an illegal bookie is illegal whether it’s on baseball or not. It’s in the name. Elly continues to exceed expectations, Vaughn does not but maybe if he eats a sandwich things will kick in. Alan...

Welcome to West Coast Corresponded Deborah, filling in for Patti who is off celebrating our intern’s graduation. Deborah’s bfs are making up for lack of bats with all the steals. Elly continues to climb the all time steal boards, and Zack Short becomes Zack Short Stay. Willson Contreras ’ injury leads to some choices about how to avoid catcher interference dangers – robo umps? Catcher’s box? How ‘...

It’s the Cinco de Mayo episode where the limes are organic and the salt is Kosher. Pottymouth’s Vaughn Grissom watch is rewarded, Luis lights it up, and Maysin makes her roster. For Patti, John Means business and Jack Suwinski can sure time a hit. Josés are in trouble and just when you think he can’t achieve any more firsts, Judge gets ejected. Did you see that Luis Arráez trade coming? We sure di...

As we lament the boyfriends we did not select for our fantasy teams, we observe Passover with mezcal. Should we have gone with Logan O’Hoppe and Joey Ortiz ? Solid maybe. Mike Tauchman and the oppo Tauchos? Unrelated to the Mexico series tacos, of course. Patti’s guys Zach , Will, and Evan are crushing the multi-hit games, and Pottymouth favorite Elly is on track for a ridiculous number of stolen...

Kenley Jansen and Craig Kimbrel are climbing to the top of the all time saves list so the takeaway is don’t yeet the ball from the last out. Looking at you, Colton “more cowbell” Cowser. Andrew hits homer #300, Adley hits grand slam #1, and Josh hits his head. On purpose. Neto can’t get a day off, Oswaldo can but Pottymouth says please don’t – or maybe yes?  Elly remains good at baseball, and Patr...

Our first visit to OPACY this season was an anticipated debut, a miracle of (not)rain, and a much heralded yet underwhelming Jackson vs Jackson smackdown. And lots of attention to the number seven . Elly has us considering a road trip to CIN, and Vaughn makes us think Worcester is nice this time of year. Zach has six runs to his credit in only one game, but the wrong direction. Spencer is down for...

We workshop the LMB acronym to account for the Mexican League signing players of questionable character. We aren’t just yanking Verdugo’s chain , we are teaching you valuable vocabulary in multiple languages. We review your four options when you catch a home run ball during a game, starting with It Belongs To You. A little over a week in and our guys with slow starts are getting the bats in gear....

Welcome to Season 8 of No Crying in Baseball! Join us as we laugh, fight, make (probably) terrible predictions, and drink beer from the North (and the northeast). Pottymouth is team Jeff , and Patti is team Rhys and everything gets back to Dustin and Manny. We talk Opening Day – Did Patti write the talking points for the new Os ownership ? She’s definitely shopping for a Maryland Tough Baltimore S...

As we head to Opening Day, we bring you our fantasy lineups, walk you through the whole Ohtani kerfuffle , and Optimist Patti enjoys her new nickname. Blake Snell finds a team at last, while Francisco Lindor and Edwin Diaz make a video showing their love for Puerto Rico. Optimist Patti makes a pro/con list for Peter Angelos . There are no winners. Our Police Blotter, in addition to a primer on MLB...

In a weakened moment of falling for Pottymouth logic, Patti agrees to a change in our fantasy team rules and we select pitchers from two teams instead of just one. Pottymouth shares her picks from the Mariners and Phillies , and Patti goes Dodgers / Orioles . We don’t think Josh Winckowski ’s excuse will get you out of jury duty but it worked for him, sort of. What’s a “ brace procedure ” and why...

In our last week of profiling position players, or “ Adley Day ” in Patti’s world, we pick our guys from the Os and ATL. For BAL, Ryan O’Hearn gets the Pottymouth nod with an extra point for Bull Durham, while Patti sticks with her once and forever catcher. For The Hammers, Patti picks spring training standout Eli White and Pottymouth corrects a wrong while selecting Orlando Arcia . Joey finds a h...

Kiké and Tony Clark dance around the idea of collusion, and let Fanatics take the lead on talking about pants. Robinson Canó heads to Mexico, Matt heads back to the Bay, and Brandon does what needs to be done. For Tampa Bay, Pottymouth completes her Lowe brothers set and Patti remembers the fun of the WBC and picks Paredes . Over at the Dodgers, Pottymouth goes with the flow and selects James Outm...