Night Classy

"Houska Castle: Built By Ghosts, For Ghosts!" Kat tells the mysterious tale of how this nonsensical castle was constructed over Czech Republic's very own crevasse to Hell. Not even the elixir of life can save you! Next up, Hayley covers Cosmic Watergate aka a big, stinky coverup of an alien crash site in Roswell, New Mexico. The only verifiable takeaway from the Roswell Incident is that face down,...

Hayley asks the question: "What are girls good for?" If you said infiltrating a psych ward to expose its abuses and catalyze change, you'd be right! Nellie Bly was a glass ceiling-breaking stunt journalist who knew how to pack light and pass as a baby. Then, Kat covers the creepy story of Ketchup king and ghost(??) Danny LaPlante. Danny may not have been tall, hot, and blonde, but he WAS a creepy...

2 in the light shade, 1 in the stinking nightshade! Hope you're not too shocked by Kat's lesson on deadly nightshade plants with beautiful names like ~nicotine~ and ~potato~. Because it's true, toxins could be right there in your pantry, on your pizza or possibly across the street at Chipotle. Next, Hayley has a question: were the Vikings bloodthirsty brutes or were they just blondes having more f...

This one goes out to the dark angels! Hayley tells the horrifying story of "the pockmarked man" who terrorized Paris for a decade. To avoid being murdered, don't take shortcuts, never be a young woman, and if you have a helpful, friendly neighbor, just do not leave your house. Then, get your spaghetti colander and pirate costume because we're going to CHURCH! Kat's here to tell you how you can hav...

Can't we all just say mermaids are real and get on with it!? Kat covers the Feejee Mermaid! Ok, so it's not a mermaid but look at the monkey head sewn onto the fish tail and tell us it doesn't feel right. And speaking of things that don't feel right, Burt's Bees hurts mees! Hayley cannot mind her own beeswax, Kat is pushing 30… I mean, pushing 26, and Ingram Burt Shavitz was so vapid that he walke...

Check if your heart is still beeping... this may be the closest the two lessons have ever coincided! Kat covers forensic body farms where you may get a rigor mortis hard-on from the cat eating your ass. And if that doesn't make you S.I.C.K then perhaps you'll enjoy Hayley's lesson on cadaver dogs! These canine crime fighters can smell a corpse fifteen feet under ground-- which is why we dress them...

If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then parody is a fucking honor. Weird Al Yankovic revolutionized rock with his accordion (because how else does one revolutionize rock?) and normalized calling out our partners for almost buying the half gallon of Rocky Road ice cream, and not the entire back stock. We Stan Weird Al. Next, Hayley talks about taxidermy a lot… But it's not what you thi...

Inspired by her favorite genre of TV (trash) Kat presents the psychology of falling in love. With shocking revelations like "falling in love feels like being on drugs" and "you're more likely to experience love at first sight with attractive people." Next, Hayley covers Bad Bass Ass Reeves (Bass Reeves), the first black deputy US marshall west of the Mississippi and inspiration for the Lone Ranger...

This week, Kat gives a crash course on the famed East Coast-West Coast hip hop rivalry of the 90s. Which came first: the shot or the song "Who Shot Ya?" Grab your roach spray and let's go on a learny journey. Next, Hayley takes us back… like all the way back… to the beginning of human consciousness. Stoned Ape Theory posits that if you take more than a mouse's arm amount of mushrooms, you can laun...

Shout out to the learny wormies and night cats who got us to our 100th episode! Delete your Seeking Arrangements account because Hayley is here to tell you exactly how to be a high class sugar baby- 19th century style. She meets with them, she sleeps with them, she spies on them, she's Margaretha Geertrudia MacLeod. Next, hopefully you don't have coimetrophobia because Kat is here to tell you abou...

If you must monogram, monogram everything! That way, if your body ever washes ashore in a pillowcase, investigators will be able to track down your very specific monogrammed piece and solve your murder. Next, Kat outs herself as a disgusting person and brings influencers of centuries past down with her. Before microblading, there were mouse/goat hair extensions for eyebrows along with the classic...

Kat teaches a lesson on horse diving, a performance so crazy and cruel that one man wanted to bring it back in the 90s. Who was that man? I'm sure you can guess. Next, he's horny, he's filthy, and he can see the future! Hayley enlightens us with the life story of Rasputin. We can't promise this episode won't give you a yeast infection, but at least no one will beat you with a crucifix.   This epis...

Kat brings bath salts back with her lesson on Stonehenge, the very first gym. We ask the important questions so you don't have to ie: "So this is Easter Island Right?" and "What is wood?" Next, Hayley doubles down on the historical content with Russia's most unmentionable yet relatable Baltic Fleet. This lesson is like the "Hey mom, can you come pick me up? I'm scared." meme but make it Mother Rus...

Hayley teaches that the Alaska Triangle is indeed a triangle and mysterious things happen there. Triangles have 3 sides and Alaska has whales, cold weather, the Iditarod, and shapeshifters. Next, Kat reminds us that poop jokes are always funny and explains the history of toilet paper. Friendly reminder that the Charmin bears are satanic and you can't pop hemorrhoids.  This episode is sponsored by...

Alcohol shot to the brain, and lobotomy's to blame. You give mental health services a bad name. But other than scrambling brains and tampons soaked in Svedka, it's all good! Learn about primal neurosurgery then cleanse your palette with a healthy dose of massive catfish and bad gals haunting Lake Lanier. It's A) hotter than a hoochie coochie, and B) an important.  This episode is sponsored by bett...

Happy New Year Classmates! You voted on your favorite episode topics and we smashed them together. Enjoy The Killdozer and Disney Controversies. See you in 2022 xoxo This episode is sponsored by betterhelp. For 10% off your first month of better help visit betterhelp.com/classy or enter our promo code CLASSY. https://linktr.ee/NightClassy Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021

Yule better not pout, yule better not cry, Night Classy has lists and we're reading them twice. Think more horrific and hazardous rather than naughty and nice. Kat delights us all with thoughts of cannibalism, horse skulls, and sausage swiping' window peepers in Christmas lore before Hayley lists off her anti-gift-giving-guide (or perfect gift guide, depending on who you're buying for) brimming wi...

Hayley covers Marshall Ratliff and his 1927 Santa Claus bank robbery. What would you do if you saw Santa robbing a bank? If you said run to the nearest hardware store, buy a gun, and shoot him, you might be from Texas. Then, Malori Sparkles is a simp for Simba and teaches a lesson on a fur-scinating subculture. We used to be a couple of Steves and Larrys thinking being a furry was just a kink. Tur...

Birthday anxiety + conspiracy + tragedy = The 27 Club. Kurt Cobain, Amy Winehouse, and Jimi Hendrix are all members of this non-official yet permanent club. Learn all about it so we can then lighten the mood with Hallmark Christmas movie factoids ie: budgets, paranormal romance restrictions, preferred stages of grief, etc. This episode is sponsored by betterhelp. For 10% off your first month of be...

I guess we're a diet podcast now because Hayley weighs in on the strange and scary history of dieting. Some fun fads include shopping mall scales, showing off your abnormally tiny poop, and our own contribution a "juice" (wine) cleanse. Then, it's cryptid time because Kat tells the story of The Flatwoods Monster. In summary, she thicc and she stinks.  This episode is sponsored by betterhelp. For 1...

Hayley experiences the sunken lost cause fallacy and brings us a lesson on how the Oxford English Dictionary was created. There are a lot of dick-tionary jokes and we all learn and re-learn some words. TLDR: this lesson is better than it sounds. Next, Kat stays on brand and talks about horses for 45 minutes. Learn about the time Dancer's Image won the Kentucky Derby in 1968 and the conspiracy (rea...

Kat crawls out of a 3-foot tall meat freezer to teach us about the "toe shoes" of gastronomy: the Paleo diet. Did cavemen really gorge on raw ground beef between shirtless beer pong matches? Find out in Act 1! Then Hayley shows up with a lesson on the biggest bitch in the hive: The Queen Bee. Pooping out babies and eating Royal Jelly isn't disgusting, Kat. Find out the most painful spots to be stu...

The crown jewels of Ireland may be pitiful but the reason why they disappeared is pathetic. Just get a new safe. It's literally the royal fucking family. Thankfully, it was all just pranks. Next, Kat is a list bitch and takes a deep dive into the most intriguing and peculiar inventions she could find on the internet. Because why hire a person when the wind can be your babysitter? Why drink normal...

Kat explains localization: the practice of adapting foreign media for local audiences. Localization played a major role in the importation of Japanese anime to the United States… for better or for worse. Things happened, decisions were made.. Or not made. Then, Hayley teaches a lesson on sex shop pioneer Beate Rottenburg, but you can just call her Beet. Beet is a complicated figure to say the leas...

Kat may not be a strong medium but she still knows what the people want: a lesson on ouija boards! Much like the toy, it was a medium success. But we still have questions like, "What is your accent?" and "Are you wearing underwear?" Ouija gonna do? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯   Next, Hayley reminds us of the hell Carl Tanzler put Elena Hoyos' corpse (and family) through. At least she got some hot beef tea before b...