New Life Live

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jill shares strategies for responding to someone who is reactive. I told my mom to stop texting me because she keeps bringing up the past, and I can’t mentally handle it. My dad sexually abused my sister and killed her. What can I do to improve my dating relationships? I’m 50 years old. The conversation about marriage comes up, but they never take the n...

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jim shares a recent conversation he had with Dr. Neil Clark Warren, in which he asked, “What’s the secret to a good relationship?” He said, “You have to be flexible, and when you’re adaptable, you do better.” Dr. Jim discusses positive adaptability. Based on research by Gottman, a healthy marriage has a ratio of 5 positive interactions to 1 negative interacti...

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Alice discusses how some of us may experience “death wishes” toward others and outlines three practical steps to take when we feel the urge to harm ourselves or wish harm on someone else. What can I do if I don’t feel I love as I should when people express love for me? I’m a wife, mother, and grandmother, but I struggle with depression, and the medication I t...

Caller Questions & Discussion: Chris discusses Psalm 37 and shares several of his observations. Discontentment, fretting, and envy make us vulnerable to more dangerous and destructive things in life. But like Paul, we must be on a journey of learning contentment. My husband and my son are in recovery from sex addiction, and my son was sharing his struggles with dating a certain woman. What’s t...

Caller Questions & Discussion: Marc discusses how healthy relationships are built through intentional partnership, emotional connection, and structure. By understanding your attachment style, you can learn the skills needed to develop a more secure attachment and stronger relationships. Is codependency an addiction? I tend to get into codependent relationships and then experience major periods...

Caller Questions & Discussion: Avoidant tendencies can keep us from speaking up for ourselves when someone is hurting us. We think that we can love our perpetrators out of their behavior, so people pleasers are often avoiders. My mom sent me off to another state when I was 14, and during that first year, I molested my 9-year-old cousin. It was never discussed, and recently she died; how do I g...

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jim talks about overthinking in his newest book, When Your Adult Child Strays , and why parents shouldn’t define themselves by their adult children’s choices or be one-topic parents. My daughter-in-law told me I’m not welcome in her home after she took guardianship of my wife who suffers from schizophrenia. How do I make peace with my daughter-in-law? I have...

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Sheri discusses Psalm 40:2 and how that verse reminds her that no matter how covered with mud she feels, the Lord is there to pick her up. I have arthritis, use a walker, and my brother wants me to move into assisted living; however, I want to move to Phoenix, but I’m afraid. My 24-year-old son is a marine, is married, and is coping with his depression by usi...

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jim discusses why many adult children are deconstructing their parents’ faith and explains the three types of people who often walk away from faith: nomads, prodigals, and exiles. I left a 10-year relationship because my avoidant, live-in boyfriend refused to talk through issues, but he keeps sending nostalgic texts. What should I do to finally move on? I’m 5...

Caller Questions & Discussion : Dr. Jill discusses thievery and jealousy and how we shouldn’t let the enemy steal our internal happiness. Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8). I’m retired, but my husband doesn’t want to go anywhere, and I’m in tears about it. In the mornings, I feel deep anxiety. Some friends invited us on a European cruise, but my husband won’t go—so...

Caller Questions & Discussion: JJ discusses ho’oponopono, the ancient Hawaiian practice for reconciliation and forgiveness, especially around someone’s death. The core concepts are humility, recognition of the importance of the relationship, gratitude, and being willing to forgive. My brother’s wife spirals out of control every 2 years or so because of mental health issues, and has...

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jim answers the question: When adult children walk away from their faith, what’s the answer for parents? Staying connected, loving well, and trusting God are essential. I stay in a fight-or-flight mode and have a hard time setting boundaries with my narcissistic husband, who has been physically abusive to me. And I have a 15-year-old daughter who is his stepd...

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jill discusses when gloating causes grief. Why do I feel constant competition in my romantic relationships? I’ve always struggled with my faith, and I feel like it has to do with childhood traumas. We’re recently married and my wife’s past trauma has led her to ask me to leave and not talk to me for three months.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Chris discusses why we should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, as James 1:19 encourages us to. I’m going through menopause, seeing a counselor, and taking medication, but my husband isn’t dealing with it very well. How do I navigate it? God has called me to do a water fast. But with my daughter graduating sixth grade, my so...

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jim discusses his newest book, When Your Adult Child Strays . If your adult child makes poor choices like addiction, unhealthy relationships, or moving in with a boyfriend or girlfriend, it’s easy to panic and react in anger. Staying connected and preserving the relationship is critical. My 13-year-old granddaughter got a citation for marijuana, then cut her...

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Alice shares how Jesus refilled Himself when He was tired; how do you refill spiritually and emotionally? All of my family has passed away, I have medical problems, and I wake up wanting to be with the Lord—how can I stop feeling so angry and find peace? I’ve been married for six years and am in an emotionally destructive marriage, but I don’t want a divorce;...

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Sheri discusses how many of us grew up in homes where there was sexual abuse, emotional abuse, and psychological abuse. Many people carry those wounds into adulthood, often still feeling powerless and helpless in relationships without realizing it. I am adopted; am I biblically obligated to have a relationship with my biological mother if I don’t want to? My...

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Alice reminds parents of the importance of repairing the relationship with their kids. Parents don’t know how long they have left on earth, nor do we know how long our kids have left. So, live with an eternal focus. How can I help my wife step back from enabling? We have a blended family with 12 kids combined, and my wife enables her 34-year-old biological da...

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Alice discusses how she dealt with a family member who told her not to share about her faith with them. My paranoid and controlling son is having problems in his marriage; how do I help them? I do FaceTime with my adult kids, but I have a lot of emotional triggers; how do I not get triggered by them? What do I do if I’m 78 years old, was homeless, and have lo...

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Alice discusses what you can do to push yourself forward if you have any unfinished business-—such as needing to make amends with someone. I’ve lost five people in five years, and there are people in my life who think I am stuffing my grief down. My 24-year-old son is transitioning to a woman and wants to be taken off of my insurance; what do I do? I’ve lost...

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Henry Cloud explains that when he wrote his newest book Your Desired Future , he had essential steps in mind to help people move forward. Start by being honest about where you are—but don’t stay there. Get out of denial and develop a clear vision for where you want to go. I drink 4 or 5 shots of alcohol at a time because I’m lonely. My wife just looks at her...

Caller Questions & Discussion: Chris discusses how we can easily overlook something like envy. We must confess it, recognize the damage it causes, and not minimize sin in our lives. I’m 34 and because I was a young mother, I didn’t do a great job raising my kids ages 17 and 18. I became a Christian two years ago, but don’t have a close relationship with them. What can I do now? Their dad...

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Henry Cloud discusses his newest book, Your Desired Future: The Five Essential Steps That Take You Where You Want to Go . How do I deal with the loss of my 11-year-old dog? I had to put her down last week, and it was a hard decision. My husband had a traumatic brain injury but was still able to reconcile with our daughter; however, she hasn’t reconciled with...

Caller Questions & Discussion: Becky discusses why it’s time to rethink mental health. Take a step toward a healthier life with (Romans 12:1–3), (2 Corinthians 10:5), and (Philippians 4:8). My daughter lives four miles from me, but she is on and off with me. I went by their house to ask for help fixing the light on my car and was met with hostility. Becky’s husband, Bruce, called to wish her a...

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Alice asks the thought-provoking question, “What is your resistance to healing?” She also shares three ways to overcome resistance to change and embrace emotional and spiritual healing. Our 33-year-old daughter is pregnant, and her fiancé called off their wedding. Now neither of them will talk to us, and her boyfriend seems very controlling. What should we do...