New and a Bit Alarming

I was going to call it the Voight-Kattf Test, but I thought the pun was a bit sweaty. Also, Robbie might be a Jellicle Cat.

No, we are NOT just making excuses because we feel like watching Cats! It's technically a remake! Very technically.

Plagued with technical trouble, Brian and Flonk trudge through the four less-than-fantastic attempts to make a Fantastic Four film, and do our best to cast our own for the inevitable next version.

Brian and Flonk return to their roots to talk about Star Trek, specifically the semi-remake reboot that is Star Trek: Into Darkness

Flonk thinks doing an episode where we talk about what we could do next would be boring, so to punish him, Brian makes them review "The Pirate Movie", which he had previously believed to be a crypto-remake, but turned out to be a regular mockbuster. Oops.

True to their promise to periodically entertain you during the hiatus, Brian and Flonk use a terrible early 2000s sitcom ad as an excuse to talk about everything from racist breakfast foods to driving distances between California cities. Enjoy! And check back here soon for some updates on what movies we might do next.

Hello! Sorry for the delay in programming. Flonk and I are here to explain why the delay, what happened in Aladdin, a brief update on Pixar in Real Life, the future of this show, and of course, a lot of dumping on Quibi.

Oh, Hakim, you are a regular character.

It ain't Alan's fault. Alan's doing fine. Alan's looking out for Alan. Go watch Harley Quinn or Doom Patrol or, like, any other recent Disney movie if you want to hear him given something to work with.

THAT'S what we should have called it.

It's a proven fact of any romcom. Especially when half of the B-couple is the endlessly charming Willard C. Smith and the other half is Nasim Pedrad, whom you KNOW I LOVE.

ALADDIN. You are EMBARRASSING us in front of DAHLIA.

Fine, let's take a little Pixar in Real Life break, then.

WOO! Ha ha, ha ha. Uh! Big Will! What what! WOO! Uncle Phil! Good news, Internet of several months ago, Genie is fine.

Not gonna lie, bit of a dull spell here as Aladdin spends five minutes wandering through a cave, so we start talking about what old man actors could play the disguised Jafar if they included him. Dick Miller? Mickey Rooney? Mel Brooks? Betty White?

Little bit loving this movie, really. This week, we meet the white dude they stuck in the movie, but he's actually kinda cool, so we'll allow it. Also we get into fictional vexillology and make a joke about "Corona" that would be very different if we weren't recording in January.

In this episode, we discuss character posters, childhood filmgoing experiences, and Aladdin takes one jump ahead. And I get mad about Beauty and the Beast AGAIN.

Here we go here we go here we go again, girls, what's our weakness? REMAKES.

SEASON 1.5 IS HERE! Flonk joins the Mayor for a grueling day of watching a pretty okay movie with the 2019 remake of Aladdin! Except here in Episode 0 where we mostly talk about Cats. INEFFABLE.

IT'S OVER!!! We made it! We're going weekly for a while! See you with our next remake!

Don't google it. Emily has a dirty mind and needs to read FAR less fanfiction.

Shortest episode ever, if I'm not mistaken. Let's get this over with.

As the servants start transforming back in a variety of hideous ways, we discuss Audra's intestines, Gugu's boobs, Ewan's hair, and we learn that Spencer doesn't know how babies are made.

Now that we finally have our prince, Emily wants to revisit a list of hot Disney guys I helped compile from back in the day. She seems to think anyone besides her voted for Mufasa. NOT EVEN SIMBA. 

As the servants slowly waste away to death, Emily, Spencer, and I celebrate being a topical podcast for once by chatting about the Birds of Prey.