Nether Region Podcast

You have pulled the Farmer, which represents industrial reapers, endless chores, and market stalls! You are salt of the earth and pepper of the underworld. Demons and devils and everything in between line up in droves to enjoy your horrid crops (only the best of the worst for the worst folks around!) Naturally, it's hard work keeping Hell fed, and your work is often underappreciated. Don't...

You have pulled the Fashion Intern, which represents coffee runs, runways, and raw denim sleep jeans! Slay! Sashay! Shantay you stay in eternal damnation! You are always dressed to impress...unfortunately you are cursed to a lifetime of striving to impress anyone and everyone. A 2.5-inch zipper doesn't begin to cover the amount of busy work piled onto your plate. Even when you're doing all...

You have pulled the Rug, a reminder that you aren't a total pushover even though you let people walk all over you! Don't wring out your tassels in shame. You're a testament to how much patience a floor mat can practice, considering the variety of gross happenings that have occured on you. You tend to bring out the worst in people, but at least you get to watch whatever is on TV while i...

You have pulled the Alien, which represents continued education, SoCal surf fashion, and force choking! You're quite an extraverted extraterrestrial, making everyone feel appreciated with your amazing ability to read everyone's mind. You're incredible at assimilating to life (death!) and the creatures in Earth's Hell, even though you're light years beyond them in intelligence!...

You have pulled The Imp (Reversed), which represents teenage angst, human studies, and techno most foul! Listener, beware - let this card be a warning to you! You are raving down the wrong road and there's no amount of post-nut clarity or cool as hell drugs that can draw you back into the boiling hot embrace of eternal darkness. And don't get it twisted: censoring your swears, doing close-...

You’ve selected The Doodle. Bark bark? Bark, bark bark. If that isn’t clear enough, not sure what is. But if you need the extra walkies, here’s the pooper scoop: you’re a force to be reckoned with and a boss bitch to boot. Just try to remember that when you lose your cool, someone might lose a finger. You’re a true Parisian and foodie with a flair for the psychotic. But at your core, you just want...

You have pulled the Trophy Maker, and my what a good sport you are. You have a love for the game, especially if that game involves the bones of your enemies. Call it a praise kink or call it a kind heart, you’re always there to celebrate and support whoever walks through your door. Because after all, even losers need loving or you’d run out of customers... Reward yourself with a hot chocolate ever...

You have pulled the Improviser, a man about town if that town were a dark and sticky theatre that your one friend invited you to on a random Thursday one time. You’ve got a keen ear for listening and a sense of humility that lets the world know you do not care about its Stephen King references. Patience and long term dedication to your art form mean you’ve met a devil or two, but are always able t...

You have pulled the Abigail, a reminder that the only thing hotter than you are the friends and villagers you've immolated. You're the 17th century's answer to Regina George, and you totally give the term Burn Book a whole new meaning. So fetch! Just don't be boring - you've got plenty of followers who hang on your every word. And your words are so very powerful! Manifest! Pers...

You have pulled the Omen Child, which represents sweet innocence, Catholic church, and horrifying murderous impulses! You are a total sicko, a real psychopath, but the most accomplished amateur surgeon to come out of St. Xavier's School for Boys nonetheless! Maybe it's your midcentury upbringing or perhaps your adorable demeanor, but you are the most wholesome rebirth of the anti-Christ th...

You have pulled the Hamster, which represents tiny tracksuits, tinier pinkie rings, and one humungous attitude! You may be a 5-inch long rodent, but you'd never be caught ratting on anyone. You're no stunad! In fact, you're a bit like a shark - always moving to stay alive, scurrying, rolling around in that big plastic ball of yours. Good thing there's a whole hairy world out there...

You have pulled the Caligula, a sign that you're the dungeon master of your domain! Your name may mean "little boots", but you've left behind some big shoes to fill (and you know what they say about big shoes...big orthotics). You're not just a ruler - you've got that sick and twisted entrepreneurial spirit that only a select few in history have acted on. Don't let any...

You have pulled the Midwest Ghost, a reminder that you've still got time to embrace and explore all your interests because hobbies don't stop when you leave this mortal coil! Keep those creative juices flowing and start making a bucket list now, that way you'll have plenty to do after spooking folks becomes passé. You're a hardworking everyman, though your corporeal form is lacking...

You have pulled the Funk Icon, which represents attitude, eroticism, and a severe peanut allergy! Even if you can't eat nuts, you can still go nuts on your eternal bass and turn everybody on with your funkadelic presence. Touching all available hips and hearts, you are a smooth operator even in your advanced age! You have the inherent gift of mixing all the finest things together (pleather sea...

You have pulled the Caesar, a sign to embrace your inner emperor and lay down the law! You rule with an iron fist, a crown of laurels, and a secret ingredient (spoiler alert: it's anchovies). But you're more than just a delicious salad, a hardcore surgery, and one of Cleopatra's many lovers - you're also a proud Charli XCX superfan! But brat beware: sometimes your call to power can...

You have pulled the Veterinarian, a reminder of how naturally taking care of others comes to you (humans not included). You are a distinguished softie, helping and healing all creatures big and small and demonic! You take your title very seriously - you're a doctor, after all, and an HTML coding queen. It's no surprise you're in everyone's Top 8! As a nurturer, keep in mind that it...

You have pulled the Filmmaker, which represents classic Hollywood, critical acclaim, and comedians as action stars! You're in your glamorous golden age, smearing your talent across the sensational silver screen. Everyone fears and admires you and your many notable works, even if they can only name one. You have the natural ability to sense the mise-en-scene of the underworld and a cereal masco...

You have pulled the Cockroach, a sign that you are resilient, fiesty, and a real thinker. Though your stature may be small, your wisdom is vast - you have the innate ability to really *see* people, and your compound eyes definitely help. Despite your Kafkaesque appearance, you manage to put a smile on faces with your buoyant personality and calming demeanor - unless you're litigating! Sure, yo...

You have pulled the Ambassador, a reminder that you are heaven-sent, even if you prefer to spend your time living it up in the underworld! You're the intermediary between the Divine, Hellmanity, and humankind - you're a true chaotic neutral with good looks to boot. What's not to love? BOSTON. Anywho...you are simultaneously the yin and yang, the darkness and the light, the creamed corn...

You have pulled the Game Show Host, a sign to buzz in and hit those whammies because you're the biggest loser, contestant number 666! You're a real charmer, schmoozing with network execs and kissing everyone's family members. Just be careful not to cause a feud...unless it bumps the ratings! You may just be the announcer, but at the end of the show, you're the real prize! Never tak...

You have pulled The Goddess of Spring, which represents abundance, entrapment, and some real housewives-level drama! You are a gorgeous one-in-a-million dignitary - even if there are several others just like you in other cultures, you stand out for sure. This is a sign to loosen up that ankle monitor and tighten up your toga - hold your head high because you're a queen, honey! Dreadful winter...

You have pulled The Scotsman, a reminder to keep your friends close and your name doppelgängers closer! You're a natural leader and a giver - you're sensitive to people's needs, even if it means gettin' a little stabby. Considering your brutally honest nature, you have built enough trust with the royals and demons alike to massage anyone who crosses your path! This is your sign to...

You have pulled The Ferryman, which reminds you that you've got a one-way ticket to Paradise* baby**! You're a guiding light in an infinite abyss of darkness - though your vessel is decrepit, you've got enough biceps, triceps, delts, and lats to get the dead where they need to be. Just be sure to advocate for yourself - remember that you're the captain now! You've earned some P...

You have pulled The Imp, a sign that everything that can go wrong will go wrong and it feels oh so good to be oh so bad. You are the embodiment of mischief and mayhem, but you have the potential to shatter the glass ceiling of naughtiness! Keep reaching for that bottomless chasm and marvel at the underworld of possibilities - with your youthful spirit, you're a surefire superstar for shenaniga...

You have pulled The Doll, which represents cherubic faces, cutesy catchphrases, and one helluva kill streak! You're used to being second fiddle to someone younger, dumber, and more human than you...it's just not fair. You must power through your hostility (even if you get a bad haircut) because you are doomed to maintain your delicate demeanor. This is your sign to stay strong and play nic...