Nerd Poker

Negotiations for the transformation of the fishy princess have reached a nadir and the Castaway Cuties may be about to throw down with some ugly pirahna-faced gillaxians. Hopefully we can go properly off the rails for a moment before the tense combat begins!

It's time to head to Megalake Pangadon, location of the underwater evil fishperson city that the Princess originally hails from, and where a certain Bahamut hammer is kept under lock and key. Hopefully she won't hear that she's travelling with an orc who loves to kill evil fishpeople!

You'd have thought the Castaway Cuties might wanna level up a little more before taking on another Dragon Turtle, but hey in their defense they WERE trying to sneak by. Hopefully their new orc tour guide won't get smushed in the process of them running away! Oh and yes this is one of the sillier openings of an episodes in a while. We start playing Dungeons and Whatever eventually, promise.

The Castaway Cuties approach Megalake Pangadon, which looms on the horizon. Unfortunately a gigantic depressed dragon turtle lies in the way. Should be easy to not irritate one of those, yeah? Yeah. No problem. Easy peasy.

The Castaway Cuties continue their team up with the mysterious sailors known as the "Ice Five" as they sail east and hope to find a lich-smiting hammer for Toody. Hopefully there won't be any sea monsters! Dan would NEVER, right??

This episode we talk to Sam's dog Ramen about how he is such a good boy for the full run time. Well kinda, there's also a lot of D&D. The Castaway Cuties also do some classic shopping Nerd Poker style, a familiar face returns, and Sam is very high.

With their latest nightmare slightly behind them (or at least, in a gross pile nearby) the Castaway Cuties now have a mysterious lava tube and a hellish wailing dimension with no gravity to contend with. Luckily they're more resolute than ever, and there's a weird list they nabbed from an evil tortle. Will all pieces come together? Come listen to us try!

Things are getting rough for the Castaway Cuties during their battle with the Pandemonium demon, as one ally after another falls. One thing is for certain, if anyone is haunted by the ghost of an adorable bunny it will suck. Hopefully he'll be revived in the name of Easter.

Our intrepid Cuties continue their combat with the vicious Pandemonium beast, seeking answers as to why all these monks are getting killed. Hopefully Danny won't feel too bad about what happens to Nathan as Chris Tallman portrays sorrow in the saddest of voices.

The Castaway Cuties are headed to another dimension (another dimension, another dimension) to help out the Davenglaven monk situation, and it looks like things are gonna get real messy. We can only hope that the otherworldly howling won't upset Nathan's delicate bunny ears too much (or make him act demonic again like he did a few episodes back).

With a new possibly wealthy patron in tow (who might just be a demon creature) the Castaway Cuties must decide how to follow up their exploits over at the giant trans-dimensional duck junk thing. Their destiny awaits, and also, probably a big scary battle!

Toody went for a little swim in the dark cavernous waters beneath the Leviathan's Spiral, only to get an innocent little tug on the leg of his armor. Probably something super cheery and not evil or slimy at all! RIGHT?

Sure, the Castaway Cuties just mashed a villain, but do you think they'll be satisfied with his horde of loot? Oh, no, not in the slightest! Every square inch of the den of this reptilian ne'er-do-well is about to get looted by none other than this crew of kind goofs.

The Castaway Cuties continue to clear the cavern, only they are now faced with a vertical shaft that has them thinking back to several seasons of their characters falling down and occasionally being snapped in half. Time to consider their descent very, very, (or just kinda) carefully!

Who doesn't like a nice, thick, shaft? The Castaway Cuties are about to explore more of the Leviathan's Spiral, a gigantic exoskeletal thing chock full of them, so you can only imagine that we're gonna be talkin' about shaft(s).

Surely combating a 30-foot-tall shadow will have zero consequences, and soon the Castaway Cuties will be back home in Blingbottom polishing their suit of armor with a demon inside it. Hopefully the fight will wind down right... about... soon...

The Castaway Cuties try to power through their most difficult fight yet, as fingers of doom start pointing and hit points start dropping. Hopefully those helpful NPCs they saved from the mutant gorillas will come in handy, right guys? Guys?

The crew is doing their best to get inside the twirly-yet-still-somehow-phallic Leviathan's Spiral and sadly one of their NPC guides is in peril. Hopefully they can rescue him and get inside the... shaft of the spiral, where they can then find some kind of respite. A very non-creepy respite that the dungeon master won't make gross at all.

It's time to track down the Filament of Dongle and see why they went missing inside the Leviathan's Spiral. What's that? A map that is almost definitely phallic? You know it.

After making their mark on the rough and tumble town of Blingbottom, our heroes head north, seeking the order of monks that knows how to locate the legendary hammer of Bahamut. Hopefully they won't light their own transportation on fire out of vague suspicion. 

Our heroes (whose group name is currently unofficial but we all know Castaway Cuties is still the frontrunner) explore the cellar of the manor, and hope that they can claim its treasure as their own (or at least sell it at Blingbottom prices). Hopefully it will be a simple trip to an evil cabal's darkened basement and there won't be any funny stuff!

The crew battles the sleepy guest of the manor that they awoke unceremoniously from its slumber, with the hopes of making the quaint trayzure room all their own. Cheers from the whole Nerd Poker crew on making it through 2020 with us, we criterally couldn't have done it without you!

Hey listeners, we wanted to say thank you for a crazy year of support and offer you this two-part bonus adventure with Felicia Day as a special gift to you! Recorded in late 2019 around Christmas time at Brian's house with plenty of murder and mayhem, we hope it bring some cheer to you. It was originally recorded and released in 2 parts, but Engineer Sam fused them together with audio magic. Stay...

You didn't expect our heroes to not thoroughly check THAT ONE CONTAINER in the TRAYZURE ROOM, did you? Well here they go, giving the awkward trayzure situation the proper Nerd Poker collection treatment! Also apologies for the audio being slightly garbled in parts, we had a computer die and get an emergency replacement mere moments before our session and didn't realize a setting was off until late...

The Kind Crew (or whatever they name might be) really put their powers of earnestness to the test as they tidy up the final corners of the hag's mansion. And what better moment for the creepiest of dungeon masters to unveil the creepiest of rooms?