Nerd Poker

Those damn vamps! Always messing with a party's party. The cabal is pulling some really lame stuff, and boy oh boy killing them will be nice.

Trigger warning: some real gross stuff continues with Danny's throat parasite. On the bright side, with Blaine's help Brian finds quite a novel and bizarre solution! We hope you enjoy the end of that particularly gross business, and the shocking cliffhanger as well!

There's some kind of crazy conspiracy going on, and we're just the crew to be confused by it! Clues abound as the Castaway Cuties go through the basement of the vampires creepy jungle home... will they manage to piece this nonsense kinda sorta together?

The cornered vampire sure does seem to have a chip on his mysteriously-caped-shoulder. Well the Castaway Cuties are infamous interrogators, so this will probably go without any punches thrown! 

The Castaway Cuties finally crash, and things get creepy real fast. I mean it's a manor that was once a hag's meeting place for her cabal of evil, just south of a being named Kronk the Walking Economy, you'd think they could just cuddle under their duvet and have cozy dreams.

The Castaway Cuties are re-exploring their little house and examining their gear, and perhaps the best part is Sam playing the part of loremaster for once. Thanks Sam!

As the Castaway Cuties are stalked through the final stretch to Blingbottom, they hope Princess Cospia lets them chop her arm off before she becomes completely stone. Wait, that's not quite how they put it. But you know... pretty close!

The Castaway Cuties could sure use a break- and they try to take one! Hopefully nothing in this horrific jungle of death and destruction will try to take advantage of this moment.

Things are heating up, thanks to an out of control jungle fire chasing the Castaway Cuties as they travel southwest to Davenglaven. And oh yeah, that whole abyssal curse thing!

The curses worsen as the Castaway Cuties struggle to shakes off the after effects of their fight with the demon. Speaking of which, weird how something smells like smoke!

After handling the demon confrontation, it's time to see if our heroes sent the right person-creature across the river to the south. Hopefully yes, since she was carrying the thing they slayed that whole army for!

What's a little battle between our heroes and an entire fish army armed with a demon and war machines? Seems like this is gonna go great!

We're heavy into an ugly battle with an ugly foe, a water demon sent by an angry Gillaxian army. Hopefully not TOO many of the Castaway Cuties will get boiled alive or skewered by a war spear.

Up against a major waterway, the Castaway Cuties are forced to reckon with an entire army of Gillaxian fish bastards, more heavily armored and evil than any encounter with them yet. And since there's a few hundred of them a mile or so away, hopefully this won't take very long...

Guess what— the Castaway Cuties are now level 6! But will their new level help them escape the Gillaxian army? Maybe? It's a whole army and all, but hey it's fun to plan how to get a giant hammer across a river!

Now that everyone is above water and deciding what to do about the extra-wrinkly Gillaxian tied up in a hole, it's time to decide how to deal with Toody's extremely heavy, extremely hard to touch hammer. But first, some lamentations from the princess!

The Castaway Cuties hope to dispatch the strange sea hag whose lair they stumbled into, and who is now fighting them for the hammer. Hopefully they can walk out of this lake soon, or at least come up with an elaborate balloon hat scheme!

Oh great, some weird glowing eyes next to the god-hammer. Probably cool if the crew ignores it right? NOPE. The monster that stalked them for a few episodes survived the flood, and now it wants to play Tool Time with Toody.

Our Castaway Cuties have worked out a solution to the puzzle of the underwater dead-end tower, so surely the dungeon master has some very fair physics in mind. Nothing could possibly go wrong. Everything's fine. This is fine.

Um... oh. The Castaway Cuties just realized they've hit the top of a tower with no real exits. At the bottom of a megalake. While lugging a 250 pound magic hammer. Luckily they can breathe underwater for a while, so maybe they can walk out... Except for that whole top of a tower thing. Hopefully they're not pausing to think inside the den of a weird swamp monster. Wait, what's that? Damn...

Your darling Castaway Cuties have gotten themselves into quite a sticky wicket, dragging a 250 pound hammer across an evil castle at the bottom of an ocean-sized lake. So hey, why not start exploring some completely unknown areas and hope they don't get trapped? Seems safe!

The Castaway Cuties are on their way to retrieving the divine hammer! But oh yeah... it's at the bottom of a massive lake and it's very heavy. And maybe guarded by water monsters. Leave it to the Nerd Poker crew to make some surprising choices on how to turn these problems into problemade.

After a fierce battle with a notable casualty, followed by a uniquely Nerd Poker instruction to an NPC that they should go complete an entire dungeon all by themselves, the Castaway Cuties are left with one big question: what the hell are they supposed to do with this evil fish shaman? And will they kill him, or ACCIDENTALLY kill him as they preserve him?

The Castaway Cuties are going under the lake to get a magic hammer. Seems simple. No issues there. Probably a shallow lake with no monsters. Easy peasy.

The Castaway Cuties bring their scrappy lake-beach battle to a conclusion as they hope to dive beneath the waves and recover an ancient hammer. Will an NPC get squished? Will the crew make a decision that perplexes even themselves only a few minutes later? Why this is Nerd Poker, of course.