Nat's Podcast

Maybe it’s menopause, maybe it’s Maybelline. Maybe she’s seeing someone else. Maybe she just hates sex, she’s asexual. Maybe she’s a lesbian. Maybe she just can’t take accountability. Men have peppered my comments over the years with all kinds of “excuses” for what’s wrong with their wife to avoid looking at themselves. I offer other suggestions, like, maybe you’re not good at sex and she doesn’t...

Shortly after my ex-husband moved out, texted me from ALDI. I had locked his keys in his truck and needed me to help. By the time I got there he had called a friend who was coming to help. But for 10 minutes he sat in my car in the rain reminding me why I had asked him to leave. Once his friend got there, I went into the store to do my own shopping, since I was there. I figured I should get some…...

“Emotional manipulators often say they have a ‘bad memory’ to avoid taking responsibility.” On threads, I’m confronted again by my own “bad memory” and now I’m talking about it again. I don’t like to talk about it publicly. It’s a level of vulnerability that I’m still not healed from and might never be. I’ll always be vulnerable to people who need me to accept their truth instead of mine. I’m work...

“How are you so warm?” His cheek resting on my chest, he marveled at my softness as I listened to him share a childhood memory about his Dad and a Brooks & Dunn song. I had my phone out and was playing songs in the candlelight and I had just put on the Kacey Musgraves version of Neon Moon. We were in and out of the sheets all night, me relishing being relished with consent for the first time in de...

Leading up to the election last year, I listened to black women talk about sitting out of protests. They said it wasn’t safe. It was the first time I’d heard them talk about this. They reminded me of my privilege as a white woman. Working through my emotions around it, I felt shame for never having protested before. I also had grace for myself because no one had shown me how or why it was importan...

The accusation of “weaponizing sex” loomed over me my entire marriage. Every headache, backache, or just not in the mood, I worried I’d be accused. Every cold, flu, and pregnancy, I feared I would be called abusive for “using sex as a weapon” against my husband. And then I discovered “excuses” as in, “oh well if you’re actually sick, that’s a valid excuse.” But this meant I had better make sure I...

Before you start reading this, did you know you can listen to it on Spotify and iTunes? Click over and subscribe and save time by listening in the car or while doing the laundry. This week we saw a CEO Andy Byron caught cheating at a Coldplay concert, and then we saw the internet blow up with memes and jokes making further spectacle of him. My teens even got it on their feeds and asked me if I had...

Getting my wisdom teeth pulled was one of my more traumatic experiences from childhood. Although I’ve mostly healed from what happened that day, there’s one part that sticks with me—a reminder that who I am is different from who people say I am. After my mouth had been gutted by the dentist with minimal novocain, and he left 1-1/2 teeth in the crook of my jaw, my mom rushed me to an oral surgeon i...

What does it mean for something to "resonate" with you? If a tarot card reader says, "Take what resonates, leave what doesn't," what are they really saying? Let’s take a look at what it means for something to resonate, and how you can take it or leave it. On TikTok, the psychic community commonly uses the term download to describe psychic information coming to them. If I have a claircognizant know...

After a breakup, a lot of women spend weeks and even months questioning the reality of their relationship. When I went through a breakup a couple of years ago, people in my comments were quick to tell me “He just wasn’t that into you.” And what I tell women today is the same thing I said in a video response back then: It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if he loved me. It doesn’t matter if he sno...

Psychics don’t always know what they know. Last summer I was getting new tires on my car and I signed up for a Goodyear card before I went in for my appointment. I had the money, but there were rewards so I planned to pay it off as soon as the charge was posted to the card. When the day of the appointment came, I was sure I had the card in my wallet. I remembered putting it in there, so I didn’t c...

In 1999 I was in the nosebleed seats of an LA stadium getting ready to watch Greg Laurie speak at the Harvest Crusade. He was a prominent pastor who held events that were a sort of religious pep rally for God. People would travel from all over to go to these things, so when a new church friend invited me, I felt special. It was a guy friend, and this was the equivalent of a date for young college...

The cafe is bustling after the first real week of sunshine we’ve had this Spring. It’s more crowded than usual, so I’ve taken a smaller table in the corner to leave the bigger ones for larger parties. As I’m writing, I feel eyes on me. I can’t tell you how I know they’re looking my way, other than to say there’s energy pointed at me. It’s louder than the energy from all the others, with their mind...

When I began talking about sexual coercion, the most common argument from men was that “a man has needs.” The second most common was, “Well, maybe his love language is physical touch.” At the time, I would cringe when they said it. My stomach would churn and it was the first time I had begun to allow myself to feel anger. They were referring to the book, The Five Love Languages , by Gary Chapman....

The first F&G story was completely channeled, coming to me quickly. I think it was meant to get a ball rolling, like it was a story I was meant to tell but I was dragging my feet and something was picking me up, dusting me off, and handing me the words to write. Part two came in bits and pieces and I filled in the rest over coffee. This one has been trickling out over the last few months, mostly w...

When I was putting my book together, I found a poem I had written shortly after Navy Guy broke up with me. I was talking to a number of avoidant men and feeling all kinds of sympathy for him when I read my own words and saw avoidance in me too. Nothing But Now When I first saw you I dropped my phone Something in your eyes said trouble I was afraid you would break my heart But I didn’t know how har...

Last night I was a man. It’s not the first time I’ve had a dream in which I found myself in a man’s body. I’ve channeled masculine energy before, but it’s different in a dream. It’s more three-dimensional, more human. Masculine and feminine energies are just energy. It’s not directly related to gender because we all contain both, but cis men and women in particular are conditioned to lean one way...

As I’ve been unmasking the last few years I’ve been paying attention the ways I "spend" energy. I'm also learning about ways I "earn" or renew energy. It costs me less energy to be myself than to be what other people expect of me. When I’m living for the expectations of others, I never seem to have enough. When I’m being myself I'm in energetic abundance. When I’m thinking for myself and acting fr...

Before the TikTok ban I had a saved collection of videos depicting loving moments entitled “Love in the Wild”. I intended to share these but an election, inauguration, and an ice storm in my town put it on hold. I’d like to get back to it. A couple’s pole dance shows the art of balance and collaboration, with trust, strength, and intimacy—and they’re barefoot in the snow. (@ cediyaelarts ) This we...

Sunday mornings are my “church” as I drive across town to a favorite local coffee shop to write. Last Sunday was a little more urgent as I had thoughts about the TikTok ban that happened the night before. I spent two hours writing about “How to Survive a TikTok Ban (from a creator who was banned 8 times)” only to find it moot before I could get home to make final edits and post it. The app came ba...

To make it all worse, I’m the type to hide from people who are inclined to offer me money when I don’t have it, so I tend to ghost my parents when things are tight so I don’t accidentally let on something is wrong. Imagine someone who feels this way about love. If you give them a hard time for pulling away, how much worse will they feel? Give Grace, give space. Love can’t always be on our terms. T...