Myopia Movies

In honor of the new movie coming out, I am rereleasing our third episode on Space Jam. Without my fully developed cynicism, feel free to listen to us as children and fly like an eagle through this attempt to watch Michael Jordan act! If you want to hear me riff this, subscribe to Patreon.com/Cineprov!    Thanks guys!

In honor of the release of Space Jam, we are covering that oft forgotten Looney Tunes flick, Looney Tunes: Back in Action. I mean, the pieces are here, Steve Martin, Brendan Frasier, Timothy Dalton, Heather Locklear...Jenna Elfman....never mind, at least Yosemite Sam is here.  Join the  Patreon (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each ti...

This week on Myopia, we learn a little something about the law. We saw Judge Dredd and we are here to remind you to eat recycled food. It's good for the environment and okay for you! Join the  Patreon  (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level! For $1:...

This week we punish ourselves for all you man animals, for our 300th movie we watched Battlefield Earth. Consider this leverage! Join the  Patreon  (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level! For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upc...

This week we watch JCVD attempt to make up for a mistake with a bigger one. We watched Street Fighter! I wonder what the value of Bison Bucks is to Bitcoin? Join the  Patreon  (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level! For $1: You get the monthly newsl...

This week we join in with a mediocre green superhero movie! No, not Green Lantern...The Hulk! No, not Mark Ruffalo...not Lou Ferrigno...no, not Edward Norton...the Eric Bana one! No? Ang Lee? Hmmmm...Sam Elliott? Fine, the one that looks like a comic book.  Join the  Patreon  (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lowe...

This week we crossover with the Cineprov Patreon and cover Bloodsport! The movie that inspired Mortal Kombat and includes tasteful nut trauma!  Join the  Patreon  (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level! For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that an...

This week on Myopia Movies, we talk about something that Disney sort of left in the vault, we watched the surprisingly dark Hunchback of Notre Dame.  Join the  Patreon  (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level! For $1: You get the monthly newsletter t...

This week we get gross, I mean, really gross. We watched Osmosis Jones, children's animation from the guys who made There's Something About Mary.  Join the  Patreon  (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level! For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that...

This week, we wonder what it would take to get Guillermo back. We watched Hellboy 2: The Golden Army, He's not a puppet! Howdy Doody's real! Join the  Patreon  (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level! For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that annou...

This week we see the movie that inspired the arm wrestling craze, we visit Canon town with Over the Top! Thank God there is a trucker division! Join the  Patreon  (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level! For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that an...

This week there were no apple crates in Hollywood, for Emilio Estevez was being an action hero! We watched Maximum Overdrive a movie made with so much cocaine that Stephen King does not remember it's filming.  Join the Patreon  (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be complete...

This week we learn that Keanu Reeves can store about as much memory as the biggest iPod. We watched Johnny Mnemonic, Hit Me! Join the  Patreon  (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level! For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcomin...

This week on Myopia Movies, we get in the mood for the new Mortal Kombat movie with the bloodless Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, a movie that is the porn parody of itself.  Join the  Patreon  (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level! For $1: You get the...

This week, we get all grease up and pretend to be Greek! We watched 300, probably one of the gayest films we have ever done.  Join the  Patreon  (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level! For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcomi...

This week on Myopia Movies, we manifest the hell out of some destiny! We watched Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend, the origin story of Champ! Join the  Patreon  (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level! For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that annou...

This week we watch a huge, hairy, terrifying Jack Black! We saw King Kong (2005), I imagine the truest movie about how Richard Attenborough made nature documentaries.   Join the  Patreon  (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level! For $1: You get the m...

This week on Myopia Movies, we class up the place! We watched the Princess Diaries, the time Julie Andrews danced with Hector Elizondo, steaming hot. Join the  Patreon  (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level! For $1: You get the monthly newsletter t...

This month we learn that sometimes nerds turn into Mark Ruffalo! We watched 13 Going on 30, Big for the ladies!  Join the Patreon (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level! For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and y...

This week we take out our pizza scissors, we watched Cobra! If crime is the disease, are you the cure? Join the Patreon (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level! For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mis...

This week on Myopia Movies, we see Gerard Depardieu's butt! We watched The Man in the Iron Mask, the film where a Frenchman, an Irishman, an American, and a Brit, play the four French Musketeers, and swear to protect the French king played by an American.  Join the Patreon (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower t...

This week on Myopia Movies we learn that stealing a woman's ideas help you succeed! We watched What Women Want, the movie where Mel Gibson can hear women and female dogs...yup. Join the Patreon (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level! For $1: You get...

The week we watch a real classy Valentines release, Daredevil! The movie that made Ben Affleck say he would never do a comic book movie. again..the first time. Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level! For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the up...

This week we learn that Rankin and Bass did more than just Rudolph, we watched the Last Unicorn!  Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level! For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog. For $...

This week we shoot a bunch of old people into space to spite John Glenn. We watched Space Cowboys, the only the film bold enough to watch William Devane chew for 90 minutes!  Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level! For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that a...