My Racist Friend

As Election Day approaches, Amy and Don talk about efforts to put social workers in the local police department, and the problems inherent in that approach. Don shares the second half of a story he started in a previous episode about being harassed by local law enforcement. Plus, a little more Lovecraft Country and a plug to watch Schitt's Creek. If you missed the first half of Don's story, listen...

Don and Amy participated in a virtual session at the Flyover Podcast Festival , hosted online by Dimension Mill on October 8-9, 2020. In their session—" Sharing the Messy Parts of Relationships "—they talked about how they started this podcast, the impact it has had, and what they hope to accomplish by continuing to share their conversations. Thanks to Rachel Kucera, Gretchen Knapp, and everyone a...

Fresh news that Donald Trump was hospitalized after contracting coronavirus is fodder for a discussion about loving kindness toward harmful people and the generational traumas of both enabling and suffering oppression. Amy and Don talk about the importance of making the negative impact of power visible, because you can't change what you won't acknowledge. In this episode Amy incorrectly attributes...

Our friends discuss threatening comments posted in response to Don sharing an article on Facebook about vehicles being used as weapons against protestors, and the limits of engaging violent speech. Amy and Don share their frustration and confusion about exchanges irreconcilable with their desire to connect across differences. Plus, more examples of things that give them strength. Additional resour...

Lovecraft Country again serves as a catalyst for conversation, with a recent episode of the TV series touching on the dangers to Black residents when integrating white neighborhoods. Don and Amy talk about school districting and home purchases, sparking an eclectic conversation that includes cultivating community and the recurring trauma Black people experience during this cultural awakening to wh...

Don and Amy discuss the impact of the new HBO series 'Lovecraft Country' (while trying to avoid any spoilers) and how it relates to the local and national stress surrounding race in America. Don shares an experience near his home confronting a group protesting the Bloomington mayor in support of law enforcement, and how his courage to challenge racist narratives online is impacting his business. N...

Amy and Don talk about a neighborhood petition to rename "Dixie Street" in Bloomington, reflecting on both small meaningful actions and empty gestures. Their conversation covers the presence and suggestion of racism in the songs we sing and the media we watch.  NOTE: This is the first episode of the pandemic where these two friends were in the same physical space. As a result, there is a lot of ba...

Prompted by a recent essay calling for an end to using the pejorative 'Karen', Amy wrestles with how sexism interferes and overlaps with anti-racism work. She and Don discuss how they participate in the systems they want to change—even while they are being hurt—and the importance of being authentic in a world that values power.   Additional resources: "How That 'Karen' Meme Benefits the Right" (Th...

After a holiday weekend filled with racist acts and protest drew the world's attention to Bloomington, Don and Amy talk through their reactions to these events and how they are processing the visible violence in their community. Don revisits a childhood incident in a new light, and they discuss the fear that results from acts of terrorism. Additional resources: "Arrest at Monroe Lake spurs IU foot...

Amy reflects on the childhood memory shared by Don in the previous episode and the difficulty in reconciling racism in someone she loves. Together, they revisit a painful moment for Don at an awards program in which they both participated, and Amy tries to reconcile the racism she carries. Additional resources: "The Violence of white (and non-Black PoC) Apologies" (Medium, by Ciarra Jones, June 9,...

In this week's conversation, Don wrestles with what to do with the anger aggregating with each news alert, racist Facebook post, and recalled memory. In processing how that anger has changed over time, Amy talks about our inclination to diminish or dismiss harm done by people we like. Warning: The cursing was not edited out for this episode, and (spoiler) they don't really talk about the Farmer's...

Don and Amy discuss the ongoing protests against police brutality, including both the large gathering in Bloomington on June 5 and (briefly) an inflammatory statement by the Broadening Inclusion Group of the local farmer's market that same day. They try to process some of the recent instances of violence against protestors and discuss the role RCT plays in seeking understanding. Additional resourc...

The last week of May was draining. The murder of George Floyd under the knee of the Minneapolis police was set up by Amy Cooper's 911 call and stalled justice for Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, and many others. Don and Amy reflect on the barrage of events since their previous conversation, including the resulting protests of police brutality around the world and the outcome of policing tactics on...

After over two weeks of fever, Amy reunites with Don online for a catch-up discussion that covers opening the state before we're ready, the value of local response to helping each other, and the role of connection when someone is being bullied. The two friends also talk about raising the bar on expectations for political leaders and our shared desire to make things appear less messy. This conversa...

With the inclusion of psychiatrist Dr. Amy Banks on the weekly Zoom call, Don talks with two Amys this week about racism at work when discussing police shootings and gun control. Dr. Banks explains the neuroscience that bakes our prejudices into our minds and body, and they talk about the value of recalling positive relational moments to help your body feel calm. Additional resources: "Indianapoli...

On the cusp of Indiana announcing plans to re-open parts of the state's economy, Amy and Don invite Dr. LaShawn Williams to join their conversation from her Utah home. They discuss the response to 'Karen' and the power dynamics embedded in the that slang term. They also discuss the risks of opening up states too soon and who carries the brunt of that risk. Additional resources: "About Caucasity an...

As state governors take the forefront in determining how long and to what extent stay-at-home orders exist, Don and Amy check in with each other about new challenges that come with hitting Pause on familiar routines. They talk about the impact illness and sickness have had on their mood and about the changes that will need to happen for our country as it shifts away from life at home. Don also tal...

From their respective homes, Amy and Don connect through Zoom to update each other on the continued challenges of remaining at home. They explore the tensions between feeling gratitude for what privilege provides and feeling empathy toward those for whom a pandemic is risk to health and financial stability. The two friends speculate on what current behaviors they want to take with them after shelt...

With birds and dogs in the background, Don and Amy catch up on another week of stay-at-home life and trying to keep COVID-19 at bay. The friends talk about taking action, as well as the need to be and privilege of being vulnerable. They also share what things are giving them hope in these stressful times. Additional resources: "Secret of Life - James Taylor" (YouTube) https://youtu.be/yHWHPPHpAj8...

A week into spring break, Don and Amy talk about how they are coping with the stay-at-home order from Indiana Governor Holcomb. In their discussion, they talk about how the COVID crisis is forcing us to wrestle with our humanity and our responsibility toward both the planet and each other. Additional resources: Indiana News Releases from Governor Eric Holcomb https://www.in.gov/gov/newsroom.htm NS...

On the cusp of a stay-at-home order from the state of Indiana, Don and Amy try to stay connected through technology. During their Zoom conference, the friends talk about the uneven impact of the COVID-19 pandemic, the assumptions of our previous lives, and the challenges of evolving old routines in face of the current crisis. Additional resources: "Commodores - Zoom" (YouTube) https://www.youtube....

Back in simpler times—aka a week ago—the social realities of living in a pandemic were just sinking in. Amy and Don follow an initial conversation about presidential politics with discussion of how the COVID-19 outbreak was disrupting their lives, including a desire to hug. The situation has changed rapidly since this conversation took place, and some of what is in this conversation may not reflec...

Prompted by an episode from another podcast, Amy shares her thoughts on disentangling her identity from Hoosier basketball. She and Don talk about the recent return of former Indiana University head basketball coach Bob Knight to Bloomington and what it was like to grow up in his shadow, unpacking some of the problematic underpinnings of his behavior. Additional resources: Hidden Brain: "Passion I...

This episode, Don and Amy invite two guests into their conversation. Aleisha Kropf asks Dr. LaShawn Williams to help her explore what it means to discover your hometown was a Sundown Town, even when you don't visit anymore. Along the way, the group discusses the culture of silence, parenting children of color, and passing as a means of survival. Additional resources: " Was your town a sundown town...

Amy and Don explore the value and challenges of getting in the MUD—Mystery, Uncertainty, and Doubt—where vulnerability creates space for change. They look at bias in a local newspaper article on Sarah Dye, a white supremacist who remains entrenched in the Bloomington Farmers Market, and discuss the varied reaction to the recent Super Bowl halftime show . Additional resources: Native Americans and...