My Racist Friend

Amy and Don Griffin, Jr. talk about what comes next on the eve of the 2024 U.S. Election and the need to take care of each other by nurturing mutuality in community. Some resources mentioned in this episode: The Practice of Mutuality https://www.bloomingtoncenterforconnection.org/2024/11/the-practice-of-mutuality/   Plan B Cheat Sheet (PDF) https://livesinthebalance.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/...

Game developer Christian Telesmar, creator of 'Disparity Trap', joins Amy and Don Griffin, Jr. in a crossover episode with the "Cadre" podcast to discuss Christian's board game about the game of real life. Christian explains the origins of the game and joins Don in speculating about expansion rules. Christian Telesmar attended college at the University of Washington (UW) with the intent of pursuin...

In this episode, hosts Don and Amy discuss the MOVE bombing in Philadelphia, a tragic and often overlooked part of American history. They delve into the background of the MOVE organization, the events leading up to the bombing, and the aftermath, including the impact on the surrounding neighborhood. The conversation also touches on broader themes of racism, police brutality, and the challenges of...

Amy and Don discuss the loss of a dear friend and colleague, Dr. Dolores Finger Wright, by reflecting on their brief experiences with her and her impact in how she lived. This podcast includes excerpts from Dr. Wright's appearance on this podcast in 2019 (season 1, episode 8) and clips from her appearance in the 2017 documentary "Tell Them We Are Rising: The Story of Black Colleges and Universitie...

Don and Amy play with the RCT Toybox cards, focusing on a discussion around three concepts: relational movement, guilt, and calm.  Resources mentioned in this episode: • "Wired to Connect" (book) https://amybanksmd.com/#av-tab-section-1-2-link   • "The Jenks Presents Wired To Connect with Amy Banks, M D" (video) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBzQjieV7pY     My Racist Friend is a podcast about th...

Amy and Don dive into the intricacies of popular music and the persistent racism evident in how we react to it. They react to Beyoncé's new hit "Texas Hold'em" and her venture into the country genre, looking at the resistance from certain factions of society and questioning the inherent racial prejudice within it. Resources mentioned in this episode: • "Beyoncé - TEXAS HOLD 'EM (Music Video)" post...

Don and Amy contemplate Paul Simon lyrics to prompt a discussion of shared suffering and challenges of staying engaged to work toward better things. Other topics along the way include finding a purpose for persisting, news of the death of Nex Benedict, being authentic about your own pain, and love's powerful role in driving life. Resources mentioned in this episode: • "The Cool, Cool River" lyrics...

In this episode, Don and Amy are discuss two RCT concepts: Model Me and Relational Images, those unconscious expectations that shape our interactions. Along the way, the pair talk about self-perceived flaws, binge-watching habits, societal pressures, and negativity fueling success. My Racist Friend is a podcast about the messy parts of relationships that help us grow together. Long-time friends Do...

Don and Amy are joined by Jay Filer, a therapist-in-training at the Bloomington Center for Connection, to take a tour of Black Joy (specifically, their Black joy) found on social media. The conversation covers struggles with and benefits of use of social media, as well as some examples of what makes Jay laugh. After this conversation, TikTok removed sound from many videos due to a copyright disput...

In this episode, hosts Amy Makice and Don Griffin Jr. delve into a thought-provoking conversation about the media's role in shaping perspectives and in turn, dividing society. The discussion ventures into the RCT concepts of "Model Me" and "Not Me" by Dr. Maureen Walker, exploring how extreme identification and fear can obstruct empathy, leading to conflicts. Resources mentioned in this episode in...

Don and Amy resume their conversation together with a discussion about needing to feel smart, the ignorance of believing you know everything, and being around people who are willing to work through mistakes.   Resources mentioned in this episode include: Tyriq Memorial Fund (GoFundMe) https://www.gofundme.com/f/tyriq-memorial-fund   Neighbor of house party where 23-year-old fatally shot: ‘We were...

Amy and Don return from a long hiatus to continue their conversations about relationships and the messy parts that make connection difficult. This week, the friends discuss Essentialism, which is found in many social movements and intertwines with racism, transphobia, and the roots of feminism. Amy provides a definition of essentialism and why it is so difficult for her to move through that blocke...

This week, Amy and Don welcome Dr. Froswa' Booker-Drew into their conversation. Dr. Booker-Drew is the Vice President of Community Affairs & Strategic Alliances for the State Fair of Texas and shares some of her experiences and insights working with the non-profit community. Additional resources: "Froswa' Booker-Drew: A Champion for South Dallas Nonprofits" (Dallas Doing Good, by Roselle Tenorio)...

Prompted by announcements of a price increase for water services and a home-buying incentive to attract new police officers, Amy and Don discuss the complexities of government funding and the mission of policing, sharing some stories of encounters where police were called. Additional resources: "Bloomington City Council Approves 18% Water Rate Increase Starting In 2022" (Indiana Public Media, by E...

Don and Amy welcome back Dr. Amy Banks, who brings her co-author, Isaac Knapper, to discuss their upcoming book, "Fighting Time"—a story of their 36-year journey from murder to meeting. Dr. Banks' father, Ronald, was shot and killed on April 29, 1979, as he left the Hyatt Regency hotel in New Orleans. Isaac, who along with Amy was 16 at the time, was wrongfully convicted of the murder and sentence...

Don confirms his good news about a role change that will have him playing a large role in bridging and resolving issues within the Bloomington community. Amy shares her joy for Don as he takes on a new challenge, as well as apprehensions about increased criticism. Also included are some brief discussion of "Coming to America" and poet Amanda Gorman being followed home. Additional resources: "Deput...

Don and Amy start this week's discussion with a job listing by the Indianapolis Museum of Art at Newfields that sought a director to “attract a broader and diverse audience while still maintaining the Museum’s traditional, core, white art audience.” The conversation also includes antique shops selling symbols of white supremacy in Oregon, students calling out teachers and organizations for racism,...

After talking about racism evident in a couple national news stories, Amy brings a recent example of her own racism to discuss with Don. Together, they dive deep into taking responsibility for making anti-oppression training easier, the need to let other people in relationships voice their own experience with harm, and the limited role listening and empathy plays in growth. Additional resources: "...

Don and Amy discuss the Strategies of Disconnection, a key concept in Relational-Cultural Theory about the practice of hiding parts of yourself in order to maintain relationships. Amy also talks with Don about some recent news items that land on the Racism Radar—including a Southern Baptist pastor and Bloomington's new Racial Equity Task Force—and makes a pitch to listen to the New York Times seri...

After overcoming some technical problems, Don joins Amy for a wide-ranging conversation about national politics and the possibility of the GameStop short squeeze becoming common ground for both ends of the political spectrum. The friends touch on a few items in the news, including the local challenges of providing shelter for unhoused people who have been trying to survive in tents pitched in publ...

Fresh off of another successful peaceful transition of power in the U.S.—and despite attempts to the contrary two weeks earlier—Don and Amy enjoy the moments of joy that broke through the clouds in the form of President Joe Biden's inauguration, even as they acknowledge the problems that persist. The highlight of that event for many came from poet Amanda Gorman, whose words spoke of the messy and...

Amy and Don discuss a statement from the Monroe County Black Democratic Caucus seeking transparency in the search for a new superintendent to head the local school corporation. This conversation covers the importance of representation and the problems inherent in sustaining a Good-Ol'-Boy network. The friends also note the similarities between the people who stormed the Capitol last week and those...

Back after a holiday hiatus, Don and Amy try to catch up on the events of the day: an attack on the U.S. Capitol building that delayed the certification of electoral votes for President and Vice-President. Discussion includes reactions by various groups, the comfort of being believed, and the differences in approach to mob actions by police. Additional resources: "If you had the Indiana Football C...

Don and Amy are joined by Dr. Maureen Walker in discussing disruptive empathy and the challenge of engaging across difference, especially when part of that difference rejects the humanity of the other. They also explore the persistence of white supremacy across our history and within groups that are not white. This episode contains several mentions of the N-word. Additional resources: "Exclusive:...

Amy and Don share their "After-election Word Barf" to reflect on a projected victory for Joe Biden and end to the Donald Trump administration. While recognizing lots of work and difficult times remain, the friends discuss the challenges of talking to people mired in fear and end with a list of three good things that lift their spirits. Additional resources: "U.S. Presidential Election Results 2020...