My Person Died Too

In this episode we give you a sneak peek into our brand new book, The Stupid Shit People Say To Grievers. We share how this book came about, including the messages we both received from our late spouses guiding us to write it, the challenges of writing a book from opposite sides of the world, the finished product, and our hopes for the book. The Stupid Shit People Say To Grievers is now available...

Grief can feel incredibly lonely. You will often hear a grieving person say that they can be in a room full of people and still feel very alone. In this episode, John & Carolyn take a closer look at what makes grievers feel so isolated and alone, and some ways to help. We are both very passionate about this topic, which we're sure you'll be able to tell when you listen! We are super excited to...

Welcome to Season 4 of the My Person Died Too Podcast! Our grief is ever-changing and evolving. In this episode, John & Carolyn talk about how their grief has evolved in the time that has passed since their spouses died, and share just some of their many insights and new perspectives. We also bring you some exciting news about our upcoming book, and share some special griefy day stories that w...

A bit about our podcast.

Grief can cause you to do some really weird shit... things that you probably never imagined yourself doing. But now, as you're doing these things, they don't feel weird at all. In this Season 3 finale episode, John and Carolyn share some of their own personal experiences, plus others from some of our grief friends. We've come to the conclusion that nothing is weird in grief, because EVERYTHING is...

Grief comes with a lot of questions, and quite often you may feel like you're the only one wanting to ask these. You're not alone. As grief coaches, John and Carolyn both hear a lot of the same questions over and over again from clients.  "Will I feel this sad forever?"  "Am I stuck in grief?"  "What if I fall in love again and they die too?" "My friends seem to be sick of me being...

Whether you had the opportunity to say goodbye or not, the death of a loved one is absolutely heartbreaking and horrible. There can be a price to pay either way... you may get the opportunity to say goodbye, but it's after watching them suffer with  a terminal illness... or their death may be sudden and without suffering, but it's a huge shock, and there were no goodbyes. Death rarely happens...

Grieving through the holiday season is especially hard. At a time when everyone else is having fun and enjoying the festivities with their  families, it can really magnify the absence of your person from your life. In this episode, John and Carolyn share what their first holiday season was like after their spouses died, and how it has changed since then. We also offer plenty of tips and strat...

The people we surround ourselves with on a day to day basis is so important to your self-care. Just as toxic people have the ability to bring you down and make you feel even worse, the right people have the ability to support you and lift you up when you need it. Grief changes you, therefore it makes sense that your relationships with some people will also undergo changes. In this episode, John an...

When someone we love dies, it can really change the way we view the world. Whereas once we may have been somewhat naive, we now know that bad stuff CAN and DOES happen... and that your entire world can change in the blink of an eye. It's therefore understandable that grief can come with a heightened sense of anxiety, a state of hypervigilance where you are always on red alert waiting for something...

Five years ago Hope Wood woke to find her husband, Phillip missing. 18 days later his body was found. Hope shares with us the shock of finding that her husband had taken his life, and how it has affected the lives of her and their 2 children. We discuss the stigma surrounding suicide loss, and how your grief can often be minimized or dismissed. We thank Hope for her vulnerability in this very impo...

It's so important to take time out to do things that feed your soul, but even more so when you're grieving. This episode isn't particularly about self-care, even though these things will definitely benefit your self-care.  It's more about encouraging you to find things that might lift your mood, bring you some calm and peace, or maybe even find your creative side. It's about finding ways to m...

Guilt can be such a heavy burden to carry, especially if you're already filled to your emotional capacity with grief. When someone we love dies, we sometimes give ourselves superhuman powers... powers that we think could have enabled us to either prevent their death, or cause their death... all because of that one small thing that we did or didn't do. And we become so committed to our story, even...

In this episode we dive into the topic of grief activators: what they are, what can cause them, ways to deal with them, and why we choose to no longer call them grief triggers. Carolyn shares a recent personal story that activated her grief beyond what she expected it could, five and a half years after her husband Tony died. John also shares some ways in which his grief has been activated since hi...

GRIEF... It's one of those things that you don't really know too much about... until you do. You may have some expectations of what grief could be like... but when you experience it on a deep personal level, you will find that the reality of grief is very different to what you had expected. In this episode, we take a look at some very common societal beliefs and expectations of grief, and see how...

Grief demands a lot from us, at a time when we often feel we have nothing left to give. Just getting out of bed each day and keeping going can take every bit of energy we can muster. So we decided it was time to acknowledge our wins, because even the seemingly small ones are really quite big. In this episode we talk about how acknowledging these wins can help us to create momentum as we rebuild. W...

In this Season 2 Finale, we talk about everything to do with signs from our loved ones. We take a look at: The ways we receive signs How to know if it's a sign or a coincidence The best time to receive signs Why you may not be noticing signs If our loved ones can see everything we do We also share examples of different signs, some that our community have received, as well as plenty of our own pers...

So what's it really like to date a widowed person?  In this episode, Carolyn sits down for a chat with John and his girlfriend Ali to find out what the first year of their relationship has been like. We discuss everything from: how they met their first impressions of each other what's been most challenging from both of their perspectives their annoying habits having a special teenager in thei...

In this episode, we introduce you to the inspirational Dr. Nancy Saltzman. Nancy's story is one of love, courage, tragedy, dedication, hope and determination.  After her first marriage ended, Nancy met the love of her life Joel and they became a family of four with the arrival of their beautiful sons, Adam and Seth. Nancy was diagnosed with breast cancer twice in her thirties, however it was...

Our grief can feel very different as each of the four seasons come around. Seasonal scents, traditions, memories and holidays can be a reminder of what we are missing with our person. In this episode, we discuss some of the common feelings that each season may bring.  We also have a conversation about the fifth season... your personal season of grief. Visit our websites: carolyngowercoaching....

If grief is a taboo subject, then talking about the sexual needs and feelings of widowed people is probably 5000 times more taboo!! However, given how often this comes up when we're working with our widowed coaching clients, we felt that it's a conversation that needs to be had. In this episode we discuss all types of intimacy, sexual bereavement, widow's fire and a whole lot more (yes we do overs...

As coaches, whenever we meet a new client, they will tell us about the things that they're thinking and feeling, and often they will follow it up with the question, "Is it just me or is this normal in grief?" As we know, there is nothing normal about grief, but in this episode we talk about a bunch of things that frequently fall into this category... the things that grievers will often keep to the...

When a widowed person decides to look for new love, it can be very common for them to compare a potential new person to their dead partner. In this episode we discuss how and why you might compare, and ways to stop this before sabotaging a future relationship. We also chat about the difference between comparing, and simply knowing what you want in a partner. Visit our websites: carolyngowercoachin...

In this episode we discuss the Continuing Bonds Theory. As a griever, we're often told to "get over it" and "move on", as if grief has an end date. However, the Continuing Bonds Theory, along with the latest grief research finds that remaining connected to your deceased person can provide comfort and support, therefore helping the bereaved to cope with their loss. We share just some of the many wa...

Widow / Widower... what image or feelings does this word bring up for you? In this episode we take a closer look at how society defines a widowed person, compared to how those of us who are actually living it feel. You don't have to be confined by society's perceptions and conditions. You can choose to redefine widowhood however you want to. Is it a symbol of deep love for your person or the pride...