My Heartsongs

Ben Franklin famously remarked, "Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today," counseling against the pitfalls of procrastination, and meant to encourage immediate action. My philosophy of late seems more aligned with, “Why put off today what you can put off until tomorrow?”

Our species seems to have favored cooperation, curiosity and cognitive enhancement as key developments that benefit survival. I explore the importance of neurodivergence: ADHD, Multiple intelligences, Autism, Savants.

Sometimes, even often, things just don't go as expected. In Part Four of this limited series on Choicepoints, we'll explore together the pathway to being responsive – rather than reactive – to life's challenges.

Hopefully one enters the magical realm of parenting by conscious choice, rather than through unintended consequence. Becoming a parent is less about biology than about showing up with the awareness that this is a life changing process. I offer some research and thoughts on parenting styles.

Apparently, Ben Franklin was fond of often asking a very simple philosophical question, What good shall I do this day? Choicepoints arise multiple times a day, especially in terms of how I treat others, and how kind I am to myself.

Awareness creates choice. This simple principle is evident throughout my daily life. Only once I become mindful of something – in the physical, mental, emotional or spiritual realms – can I then shift and transform what is happening. Check out my favorite gun violence prevention ad: https://www.youtube.com/watchZ8DP3ssCfLY

For many years, as Medical Director of Family Health for NM, I relied upon an annual report issued by the Children’s Defense Fund, which highlights and summarizes the status of America’s children in 11 areas. I offer some thoughts about what needs doing.

My favorite Italian word for home is actually dimora, which is a more poetic description of home, evoking charm, and history – think ancestors and what they went through to make the home possible  – and a sense of timelessness, a place that represented or portrays the true center of my life.

A recent study from Japan demonstrated that optimists have similar brain activity patterns, especially in the medial prefrontal cortex, the home of imagining future happenings. An exploration of soundness of mind.

Even if one eschews traditional religions, and explores the perspective of spirituality as a choose your own adventure camp, living and embodying the values one believes in remains a lifelong pursuit. Hopefully I am capable of using the past to make better choices in the future, elevating my precious time on the planet into a sort of embodied learning tool.

Men have been very conditioned to provide, perform and protect. What are the female equivalents? As I’ve reflected upon it, I think nurture, be perfect and connect. Do I believe in an inner feminine?

Real connection asks for authenticity, a component of which is honesty – with self and others – which in turn requires some contemplation and vulnerability, as well as some skills in expressing what is inside to the outside in ways not destructive to self or others. Test mentioned in the podcast: https://aphantasia.com/study/vviq/?srsltid=AfmBOoogMEz3jl7WMkwNeHTdjV68b7HWu4MohNLxROf_WpvtbU2YWwjE  

Wandering around Home Depot looking for assistance this week reminded me of all those digital self-help marketplace voices whispering “I have what you need!” Sooo many offerings that supposedly will help us get what we most desire, whether that is weight loss, permanent inner peace, the key to navigating family trauma tripwires, or the perfect gizmo to further ease my existence.

Here are my 5 C’s: foundational principles for a vital healthy relationship. Commit, connect, communicate, clear conflict and create. Check out cupofempathy.com, created by Marianne van Dijk, who has many short insightful you tube videos on Non violent communication, mentioned in the podcast.

Healthy relationships have the capacity to assist us in changing, growing, evolving for the better. A young friend puts out a brief but insightful weekly newsletter (Sign up and read articles on WholeManMethod.com ), and in the last one he mused, “The cost of ignoring your authentic life will always outweigh the discomfort of answering your soul’s call."

The WHO recently released a report claiming that more than 871,000 people die from loneliness each year—almost 100 an hour. It defines loneliness as the distress that comes from the lack of desired relationships, while social isolation is defined by the objective absence of social ties.

The underlying reason for long CoVid at this point remains unclear, and may be different in different people. Possibilities include ongoing viral activity associated with an intra-host viral reservoir, autoimmune or dysregulated inflammatory state, microvascular dysfunction, organ damage from the original infection, or other as yet undiscovered mechanisms.

I don’t need a prickling discharge of ions on the back on my neck to remind me that things are OFF in capital letters, to actually feel the urgent, palpable yet inconclusive tinge of peril we now face in the world, an apocryphal yet not dubious menu on display. A filling station of gloom available with the click of a mouse.

There is a tempest abrewing! The Singularity refers to the point at which machines’ intelligence and humans will merge, all optimized through ongoing developments in genomics, nanotechnology and robotics. Emergence is specialized lingo for when an AI system shows unpredictable or unintended capabilities. 

I surround myself in general with kind, intelligent, open people, most of whom like me seem at a loss as to how to respond effectively to the policies of the new administration. We can and do “keep lighting up our little corner of the world,” yet there is a nagging sense of tension, anxiety, a call for more significant action than the same old same old.

This time of year marks the 5 year anniversary of the onslaught of the worst pandemic in modern times. The beginning of April 2020 was the peak of lockdowns, with a guesstimate of 4.4 billion people – 57% of the planet – having some movement restriction. I explore some of what we learned during this "Anthropause" and what our habenula might contribute to the inquiry.

While most violence occurs between people who know each other, there is something to be said about mitigating stranger danger. Yes, women are more likely to be assaulted in the home or someplace familiar to them, but abduction by predatory rapists does occur. So it seems worthwhile to review some ideas to stay safe.

When feeling discombobulated, a key principle to stay sane during these turbulent times is to stop arguing with reality, a laudable intention. Think new thoughts, fresh, innovative previously unthought, or at least a good one repackaged into this worthy moment, devoid of any smidge of sophistry.

As a good friend says, these days it feels like one is getting pecked to death with all those little absurdities of daily life. In short, all that does not go easily because of bureaucratic or corporate nonsense can have me running in circles quite easily. You may have heard the term high variance, which is being used as a polite synonym for the chaos of the current administration. That only adds...

My dad always used to say I’m not complaining, just explaining, but here I am talking about developing a conscious process for whine o’clock to lighten the load in ways that are not destructive to myself or others.