My Buddy Buzz

While shopping online for Peggy’s zip-off pantyhose, Buzz is sent to the hospital after a hamburger-helper puncture causes his left snoodle to pop off, and they also recruit for Jesus’ church hula-hoop team.

In this update to Mary Lou, the narrator is after a new model for a new foundation for Buzz after reading about another family’s charitable effort in the Reynoldsburg Times. All the while, Buzz is preparing to get his library card and hopes Mary Lou might spend a few hours with him checking out comic books—or Snoopy. The request comes after a recent library disaster in which Buzz was found nearly...

After a stop at Pirates of the Caribbean Bar and Grill, they went to Third Church of Christ to have a hereditary family photo taken. Buzz wore his beloved boat shirt and Peggy powdered him up, but the whole thing went sideways when he sneezed during the picture and his scrotum popped off. The church is upset and wants an apology, though the narrator insists Buzz has every right to keep his parts p...

Starting bright and early with an invitation to join the crew for a spaghetti pie gathering while Alex prepares the bongs and the group gets ready to eat. He reflects on the previous night, describing a lunar equinox with a red, sunless moon that felt “as if God had winked at us.” The evening included spaghetti pie and ice cream sandwiches, and the narrator thanks anyone who attended. With plans t...

This quick update for Michael is regarding Peggy’s recent medical situation. After a visit to the doctor, she is asked to return due to complications of her genitalia, which was “swollen shut” upon her initial examination. While the doc attributes the issue to excessive viewing of Sex and the City, the narrator suggests a more practical explanation involving hygiene.

While enjoying a couple of Barnyard Busters at Ruby Tuesday’s with a dear friend, Buzz, an unexpected scrotal detachment interrupts the evening and forces a quick emergency trip to Ace Hardware. With just a Phillips head screwdrivers and soldering iron, they manage to reattach the situation before the doctor says it would have been too late to properly enjoy their busters for supper. After the imp...

A late-night message to Mary Lou takes a hard left into Buzz’s latest emergency: middle-of-the-night dribbles followed by a consequential Walgreens pants run, a bath, and the lingering aftermath for Jim and Peggy to wipe clean. Equal parts concern, confusion, feces, and newfound concerns for Buzz’s recently-announced drinking habit.

While recovering from flu-like symptoms at home, an unsuccessful attempt to treat the illness by running vinegar down his nose is made per Peggy's suggestion. Plans for supper are still underway, with Alex preparing steak kebabs while the narrator heads out to grab burgers and apple pies. Buzz has just returned from a vacation with his new girlfriend Dribble, and the evening may include visits...

Plans for another birthday party are underway before Buzz heads to Tennessee for the week, featuring hot dogs dipped in milk, a possible wedding to one of three girlfriends, and hopes that Mary Lou will cater the potluck— or at least call back one of these days.

Peggy considers donating her bosom within the family, offers up a yard of dark burnt gray hair, and Buzz joins the NRA while they quietly hire help for ongoing pant-splatting cleanup.

In this brief voicemail, Jeremy is told that it's about time they return his sack of potatoes after holding onto them for several months. The narrator offers to drop them off before Peggy throws them away. While sorting through the bag, they discover at least one spoiled potato and possibly a couple of sweet potatoes. During the inspection, Buzz runs around inside the stash and nearly pops his...

During a half-birthday celebration at Shoney’s, Buzz bites into a porcelain apple and cracks his teeth. Shoney attempts first aid, but Buzz is rushed to the emergency room where every tooth gets pulled.

This imminent update starts off at Buzz’s surprise birthday party blowout, which concluded with a loud testicular incident and a confused bit of Buzz. Meanwhile in local news, as a nearby Burger King announces its upcoming closure, the community responds with compassion and a whopping appetite by organizing a fundraiser to keep the local monarchy from going under.

In this update, we’re told that Buzz is celebrating another bar mitzvah—partly for the bagels and partly due to a recent remarriage. He details a new romance connected to the Golden Corral ball pit, reflects on past relationships involving scouts and horses, and notes lingering disappointment after his pouch shrank. Plans are underway to “swap genitals” with Uncle Brichard so he can travel to Viet...

In this neighborhood-wide update, a rough week involving a prayer chain for a serious rash, emotional support for a local spelling-bee contestant with only one testicle, and growing concern over pubic bloating and breathing issues.

In a voicemail to Zano Turningpit, Zano is asked if he would escort Buzz to the winter ball for his first public appearance since the reattachment surgery, following a Christmas Eve incident involving a tractor plowman, a runaway scrotum, and a Santa who stepped on it.

After a night of hacky sack causes his sack to pop off again, doctors suggest a new Velcro-based detachable system while they still try to make it to Easter potluck in Pickerington

A breakfast invite turns into a full medical and social status report: Buzz is out of the hospital after a “reattachment surgery,” his pouch is improving, and he’s ready to celebrate—preferably with dancing, karaoke, and (for reasons no one can fully explain) a ball pit.

Calling Kelsey from PetSmart to tell her they have her gerbil Peter’s favorite food. In addition, he’s considering buying some goldfish and potentially a few doggy beds like the ones she and Buzz used to sleep on.

Between dropping off push pops, planning for an underwater dress-as-you-go party, and Buzz’s “reconditional camp”, this episode is jam packed with fun-filled stories and circumstances exclusively for your listening pleasure.

In this brief check-in, Mary Lou gets word that the Duck Man has officially won the presidential election, with speculation of a whacky next couple of years. Meanwhile, Buzz is hopeful that Mary Lou may be willing to help him tweak his online blog.

Stranded at Walgreens with stomach pain and no Pepto-Bismol, he explains that Buzz is running a fundraiser while suffering from little man syndrome, a swollen pouch underside, and a pouch eighteen times normal size.

Peggy’s Menophase sends their bedroom routine into chaos while he seeks a full-time type of home helper. Meanwhile, Buzz falls off a statue playing snowball and his satchel pops off, loses multiple girls, and begins pretending to date a horse.

After a night of getting all liquored-up and a game of Mother May I, poor Buzz’s “pouch” pops off again, leaving him with greenish-hued genitals and orange-styled hair, and prompting yet another round of prayers and movie plans.

A big announcement—the grand opening of the Foundation for a Better Buzz after his latest scrotal episode, offering donor rewards like a visor that says “I Helpped My Buddy Buzz” and wristbands declaring “I Beat Scrotal Cancer.”