My 75-Year Road Trip • Memoir and Musings

There are millions of "firsts" and "lasts" in our lives that affect us, become part of us, and influence who we become. Big and small. Doing this podcast was one of the biggies... Fifty-two weeks ago was my first podcast, and this one is my last..

Would listeners consider a memoir incomplete without at least a tidbit or two about the author's love life? Well, I don't know, but I had a lot of fun writing this story, and here it is....

The final of the 3 episodes about my experiences as a BC Marriage Commissioner.

Onwards with more Marriage Commissioner stories....

A requirement for becoming a Marriage Commissioner in British Columbia is that one has to be retired or semi-retired... so if we keep our eyes and ears open, there is still meaningful and interesting work available out there, just for us, in this Third Act. I officiated weddings for 9 VERY interesting years. This is the first of three episodes where I share my experiences.... did I already say?......

Readers of my book and listeners to this podcast have asked me, "How did you do it?" So I' decided to add this special episode to answer that question. Heads up -- it's twice as long as my other episodes, but with good reason.

This is a fiction story about Rosa and Marilyn, but is based on a real once-in-a-lifetime experience I had in Mexico, thanks to an incredible woman named Jackie.

To stay as healthy and with it as you can as an Elder, it's a good thing, if not a necessary thing, to be active. Physically and mentally. One way to mentally keep fired up is by going to school --for fun, interest, curiosity, at the very least to get out of the house and off the couch.

Drug addiction and homelessness is a huge problem in our society and this harsh and debilitating situation offers little hope for a better life for the addicted. Our communities are trying to make things better for these folks but it's getting worse and seems hopeless.

This aging elder-woman experience is really something... every woman "in this place" will have their own unique trip and experiences travelling this particular road. I'm ticked that after all these years of life, with all this wisdom, with all my smarts, I still allow the "I'm not good enough as I am" message to (sometimes, somehow) creep into my thoughts. Jeez.

Girl unravels the "Why's?" of how she wound up in this crazy place with the Big Mistake. And feels awe and gratitude, if not some pride, at how much she has faced and dealt with. She finds her "I" and embraces her Self. Unbeknownst to her though, one more unexpected, ugly experience is on the horizon. But she will deal, with confidence, courage, and chutzpah.

Although supported by her friends, the "sisterhood," and by the RCMP, Girl discovers she really has to take care of things herself, be proactive. Some of her tactics are strengthening and some desperate, her actions and reactions range from brave to stupid, and some consequences are affirming, others not so much.

The interwoven, back-and-forth time-line continues. as Girl thought she'd ended this relationship from hell. Well, she had, but he hadn't.

In this and the next 3 episodes I tell the 3-year story of how an ordinary Girl got involved with a bad Boy... this is the one novelette in my memoir that wouldn't stop giving. My intention and hope is that this story with its ups and downs, and surprise ending, will be shared by listeners with other women they know who may be in a similar situation.

I'm not talking about the 1960s here! Warning -- this episode is about the experiences of solo seniors re-entering the dating world, and sex once again being on the table (or wherever.) It's more of a researched essay (lecture?) on this new place we can be in and the unexpected exploding increase in STDs as a result. But I then soften the tone with a story I've called "Penis Envy."

Yes, I know I'm a dinosaur, still resisting having a cell phone.... I try not to be so sensitive to what I see around me with how technology and the use of cell phones has affected us all. But I am.

We have times in our lives and experiences during those times that, in hindsight, we can't believe really happened. Yet we get through them... sometimes damaged or changed, But more often though, stronger and wiser.

Another off-road spin I wasn't expecting. When I got back onto the road, I was changed and had gained a new perspective on my life and life.

Someone once said, "Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes in the middle of nowhere you find yourself." And if this happens, you might discover, as explorer and scholar Ibn Battuta did in the 1300s, that travelling "... leaves you speechless, then turns you into a storyteller."

It still amazes me that I travelled to so many places during this time in my life, and I 'm thankful that I did, and fortunate that I could. But when I look back on those two decades of being 'there,' not 'here,' I know there was more beneath the surface as I wandered from place to place to place.

Travel worldwide has now become common place. In 2000 I went on my first solo trip... the beginning of two decades of travel... the first decade was one of 'escape travel' and the second of 'engaged travel'... two totally different experiences as I navigated through the unsettled place I was in.

Have you ever said "Yes," when you would normally say, "No," and because of that, had a chance encounter with someone who amazed and inspired you? And after they left, that experience stayed in your thoughts for a long time? I knew Julia only for 24 hours, but she became the star in two of the stories in my memoir..

The four-legged members of our families give us so much. I was surprised at how much.

So.... How's "Going It Alone" working for ya? I thought it was for me.,. until it wasn't. It took awhile for me to ask for, and accept, the gift of someone's help. And I later discovered there is a 'Helper's High' and it's a win-win situation for both the helper and the helped. Volunteering has been rewarding and meaningful for me... and with a bit of Fever thrown in, well, it's fun, too.

Do you have something you absolutely must have? I have many. But in this episode I'll tell you about only two.... ones that I've had in my life since I could read and wear shoes.