Murder-Suicide Matinee

We're back to ruin the holidays with a scholarly dissection of a christmas classic!* Listen along, and you too can piss off everyone at the family dinner table with incisive insight into the post-9/11 military-industrial themes of The Polar Express , and the USA's ongoing anxious spiral into full christmas derangement. Featuring: Being Tom Hankovich, Santa's adrenachrome harvesting operation, elf...

It's been a while since an episode was a complete, unmitigated disaster from beginning to end. Hosts going through it, movie abysmal, audio files swallowed by dark gods. This month we inflicted Yu-Gi-Oh! The Movie: Pyramid of Light  upon ourselves, for critical damage. If you know or care about Yu-Gi-Oh! you too will feel your life points drain as we display about as much in-depth knowledge of the...

Welcome to the world of Tiny Don Cheadle, where only scoring a million points in super-basketball can facilitate his master plan to put LeBron James in Game of Thrones. Or Something. We watched Space Jam: A New Legacy  and came away knowing less about the plot than before we went in. It's a lot like The Emoji Movie, but infinitely more embarrassing on pretty much every level.  Featuring: the Star...

😩⌚🎬⬅👩⚔💀 you get it it's the fucking emoji movie. god help us. PROGRAMMING NOTE: show notes and bonus clips will go up on Patreon next week, as Lee is out of town all weekend. In exchange, you get this episode a day early. Yippeeee! Featuring: soup wizard's poison stew, patrick stewart's third home, amazing deals on james corden, evil charger that deletes your phone, and the eternal sunshine o...

!!!LOST MEDIA RECOVERED!!! This bonus full-length episode drop is as much a surprise to us as it is to you. After our CATS theatricular spectacular, we actually recorded another episode in September 2020. First, recording was delayed by [VARIOUS GLOBAL EVENTS]. Then editing was delayed by a computer failure. By the time the edit resumed, the entire intro (about, you know, [VARIOUS GLOBAL EVENTS])...

Once in a while, it does us good to check out a nutritious, homegrown independent movie. Something made with love, care, copious ambition, and a free copy of Blender. Something like Our Drawings - Princess Movie ,  better known as that thing with the beatboxing puppy. As fans of Dracula's Angel know, we will go to the mats for an incomprehensible passion project every time. Join us for an absolute...

Did you think it was over? Did you think we were finished? Did you really, truly, honestly believe we have anything better to do with our time than bicker over certified rotten animated features? Foolish. Four years after Cats tried to put us in the ground, we are risen again like the good lord himself. For humanity's sins, we watched Riverdance: The Animated Adventure . Featuring: Unnecessary loc...

Our very first very special 2-hour On Release spectacular. What is there to say? We saw it. We went. There was vore. There were computer faces. There were naked human hands. Oh man. Oh boy. Oh kids. Featuring: Cami almost gets arrested, two literal dissociative episodes, filthy fursuits, a jellicle cat is a racist cat, everything you've ever wanted to know about trains (but it was too boring to as...

In accordance with MSM tradition (that is very on purpose and an intentional part of our brand, and NOT the whim of a chaotic universe), we present to you this year's Halloween-in-December pre-holiday spookfest: 2004's Spookley the Square Pumpkin! You may have heard of this lumpen mistake of nature recently from some other, much more popular podcast, who may have given away the whole synopsis to a...

I'm a little yellow fish in a deep blue sea - won't somebody save me?   Oh yes we're revisiting the MILLENNIUM FISH MOVIE CRAZE that I bet you don't remember at all. With a completely inexplicable cast including Alan Paul, Aaron Rickman, Tabitha St. Germain and Terry Jones, Help! I'm A Fish is an inscrutable series of creative decisions that we were absolutely unprepared to witness.  Featuring: th...

Big Audio tried to shut us down, but you can't kill what already wants to die... That's right, Murder-Suicide Matinee is BACK for an absolutely arbitrary Season 2. After moving to opposite time zones and losing a full episode and a half of recordings, regular brained podcast hosts might give up. But not us, baby. We're bigger and better and gayer than ever, and we're ready to talk at great length...

  This episode gestated almost as long as a real baby! Join us for timely and topical new year humour, and sizzling hot takes on that one weird pro-life zootopia comic everyone's already forgotten about! Oh, we also talk about 2017's The Boss Baby - the movie with a definite article in the title that nobody acknowledges, made by adults who have a lot to say about corporate culture and have evident...

  Not a whole lot of jokes in this one folks; we fucking hated it. We watched Sausage Party and regretted every moment we were alive. WARNING: If you're sensitive to discussion of virulent racism, misogyny, homophobia, sexual assault, or pretty much any other form of casual bigotry that middle aged white comedians find hilarious and think they're experts on, skip this tire fire.  Movie: Sausage Pa...

For our holiday episode this year we're wishing you all a late happy Hanukkah! And by 'happy' we mean we really hope you didn't watch Adam Sandler's Eight Crazy Nights ! We had a miserable time! When will comedians just stop? Featuring: early shrimp, Salad Blandman, Cami should never do voices, and a perfect twelve year old boy PLUS:  Our embarrassingly short 2017 retrospective, and a very special...

It's the episode absolutely nobody asked for -- we discuss The Smurfs 2 having never seen or even read a synopsis of the first one. Have you ever watched a kids' movie and thought 'man this would be way better if the child did nothing at all and the adults had the whole adventure'? Neither have we! Because it's actually worse! Featuring: more celebrity deaths, natal smurf hair, a completely nonsen...

It's been a while, but the masochists are back -- and this episode we're going nutty over 2014's cranky animal heist movie The Nut Job . Sure, some people might have been over the fuzzy-animal-with-a-bad-attitude thing by the early 00s, and everyone was certainly over gangnam style by the end of 2012, but here's a movie bold enough to say nuts to that! We really get down to nuts and bolts in this...

Top of the season to you! Hot on the heels of halloween, it's the all singing no dancing Murder-Suicide Matinee christmas special! We're joined by Kelly Rockwell of Secret Story for a surprisingly erotic screening of the 1993 animated classic David Copperfield . It's just as Dickens envisioned it -- cheese monster, calypso beats and fantasy wild boar chase intact. Oh, and take note of that Explici...

Cosy on down under the blankets, throw another log on the fire, and prepare for some long winter night spookin's as we bring you the fabled... lost halloween episode. That's right, just in time for the holiday season we've managed to recover this special episode originally intended to air on October 31st -- before Rosa left her laptop on a train, and it took a tour of the south of england for a mo...

Hey, you see that explicit tag? Yeah, we're making full use of that this week. You probably don't want to listen to this episode at work or with the family, unless you are heir apparent to the bad dragon / deviantart empires. And if you are, please get in touch re: some kind of sponsorship deal. That's beause we watched Alpha and Omega 4: Legend of the Call to the Lost Witch's Curse of My Ass Relo...

It's back to the tender embrace of inept 2D this episode, with Aladdin and the Adventure of All Time . No I did not leave out a word, that is the title of this movie that was inexplicably released in the year 2000 despite looking and sounding like an early 90s bargain bin. Today's lesson is all about learning to accept yourself by existentially rewriting everyone around you. Also Rosa was sick whe...

What's this? A new episode? But it's only been a month and a half! Look, shut up and appreciate the agony we went through to bring you our analysis (analopsis) of Barnyard . Two days recording, three attempts to get all the right audio files on one computer. One surprisingly bigoted cow movie. In this episode: bad morals, every -ism you can imagine, WILD MIKE Movie: Barnyard (2006) Director: Steve...

Happy Thursday everybody! One of the six best days of the week. We're celebrating with the 2004 Garfield movie, and enough alcohol to forget Jon Arbuckle's name halfway through the recording. Points for meditation include: the master of pez, CG Nick Offerman, judging supple dogs, Garfield in the Dutch dimension, and lots of whining about how hard cartoonists have it. Movie: Garfield (2004) Directo...

This episode is a little late, because....well. Things happened. Things that took courage to publish. This week, we watched Minions . The only question now is: what will become of us?   Movie: Minions (2015) Directors: Kyle Balda, Pierre Coffin Rating: up is down, black is white, war is peace Follow our tumblr ( murdersuicidematinee.tumblr.com ) and watch the last vestiges of our pride circle the...

With Cami out of town for work, Rosa's sibling Axe steps in to help come to grips with acclaimed Danny DeVito biopic My Little Pony: The Movie . Together we tackle the tough questions. Who is Danny DeVito? Did you know Danny DeVito owned a restaurant? What does Danny DeVito sound like? Why can't we stop saying Danny DeVito? highlights: Danny DeVito, Danny DeVitho, a lot of really bad horses, the h...

Listen to the life and willpower drain from our bodies in real-time as we subject ourselves to the surprisingly offensive Sunshine Barry and the Disco Worms . This is absolutely, without doubt, no competition, the worst experience we have had so far. The director, writer, and producers of this movie should be punished. At one point we wondered if we could stop the movie and lie to our audience abo...