Mummy Dearest

Send us Fan Mail This week Zach and Sloane are back with a housewives bonanza! They're taken a mini break but they're coming in hot with a double feature episode. The duo discuss the last couple episodes of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and it's still just people alluding to something Sutton may or may not have said that's kind of racist? Then Zach and Sloane travel to the p...

Send us Fan Mail This week Zach and Sloane unwrap 1997's comedy action jungle extravaganza: George of the Jungle ! This is Mummy Dearest's sexiest episode yet. Right out of the gate Zach wants intimate details of Sloane's sex life and she's more than willing to lay it all out for the listeners. TW: Zach and Sloane discuss MyFitnessPal and other horrible dieting things (as per.)...

Send us Fan Mail This week Zach and Sloane unwrap Season 12 Episode 3 of  The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills . This time the girls are on a mini trip to see another one of Kyle's goddamn fucking stores. WHO CARES KYLE? GOODBYE KYLE! Honestly, if we have to see another store opening featuring Kyle's Kaftans we are going to quit Bravo. Just kidding but we're getting close. This week...

Send us Fan Mail This week Zach and Sloane deep dive Season 12 Episode 2 of  The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills . Now listen up folx, this episode is going to expose some hard truths. Sloane reads some unfortunate small penis passages from Harry Hamlin's  autobiography and   caps off the show with a reading from Alex McCord's book where we find out Simon ejaculated on her during the bi...

Send us Fan Mail This week Zach and Sloane unwrap 1997's prison breakout plane action movie classic: Con Air . Join the duo as they discuss everything from John Cusack's tiny little sandals to Sloane's dad putting Sloane on an Amtrak when she was 8 years old. They also discuss the glory that is end movie credits set to music with photos of the cast playing over the music. Lastly Zac...

Send us Fan Mail This week Zach and Sloane unwrap the season 12 premier of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills ! Our gals have returned more annoying and out of touch than ever! And we love to see it baby! The premier kicks off with Dorito's million dollar break-in, Sutton's trouble with International designer law, Lisa Rinna deciding to be a bitch, and Erika telling us orphans and widows w...

Send us Fan Mail This week Zach and Sloane unwrap 2006's iconic 18th century frou-frou masterpiece: Marie Antoinette . This is Sloane's all-time favorite movie and soundtrack so the episode is almost 2 hours long. The duo discuss everything from the movie's fashion to Jamie Dornan's armpit sweat to their idea for an Italian sandwich restaurant called Balducci's . It's...

Send us Fan Mail This week Zach and Sloane unwrap 2000 American survival thriller: Vertical Limit . This is a classic Mummy Dearest film because the tropes are plentiful. This movie has it all: falling through a crevasse, dangling from a cliff by a snow pick, explosives being detonated via sunlight, rich billionaires getting their comeuppance, dying wives, dying fathers, broken bones and frostbite...

Send us Fan Mail This week Zach and Sloane unwrap 1997's biographical musical drama film: Selena . Obviously Zach and Sloane discuss their respect of JLo's mediocre talents, her beautiful lips, her beautiful nose, and her stay at Selena's parents home to prepare for her role as their deceased daughter. There's also tons of hot sauce hijinks and perhaps problematic accents in th...

Send us Fan Mail This week Zach and Sloane unwrap 1994's superhero/ gangster comedy: The Mask ! As usual, the duo discusses zoot suits, swing dance, Cocobongo style nightclubs, child gangsters and Tommy guns! Upon rewatch, Zach and Sloane found The Mask a tad assault-y but overall it's still a great watch, so get your peepers on it and get ready to have "Cuban Pete" stuck in yo...

Send us Fan Mail This week Zach and Sloane are joined by writer and man-about-town, Evan Ross Katz, to unwrap 1999's star studded romantic high school undercover reporter comedy: Never Been Kissed !The trio discuss everything from undercover journalism to the price of avocados to Evan's interview with Queen Dolly Parton. Evan regales Zach and Sloane with tales from the Met Gala, stories...

Send us Fan Mail This week Zach and Sloane unwrap 2008's action-adventure crap fest The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor . It's one hour and 52 minutes of pure anger inducing film making. Everything about it is hurtful to fans of the Mummy franchise. Truly, we Mummy Stans are not sure what we did to deserve Tomb of the Dragon Emperor and we reject it as part of the Mummy canon. It'...

Send us Fan Mail This week Zach and Sloane take a trip down memory lane and remember where it all began: with 1999's The Mummy . The duo discuss everything from Brendan's rise to fame once more to the perils of trying to use an iHome hotel iPod charger to listen to music while your friend singes off their hair with Biosilk and a Chi straightener. There's laughs, there's tears,...

Send us Fan Mail This week Zach and Sloane unwrap Real Housewives of Miami  season 4 finale part 2 (or, part dos , en español). What a treat this season has been. The women gave us everything we needed: gay intrigue, baby assassins, cocaine, domestic violence, outfit repeating, bedazzled tumblers and a night at Gianni Versace's home. Zach and Sloane take back everything they've ever said...

Send us Fan Mail This week Zach and Sloane are joined by special guest and pop culture afficionado, Jesse Chambliss, to discuss 2001's teenage dance / racial tension love story: Save the Last Dance ! Lord, did this movie rock the worlds of young Zach and Jesse. Sloane, not so much. But fear not, she's a true fan now! Clocking in at almost 2 hours, the trio discusses everything from Julia...

Send us Fan Mail This week Zach and Sloane unwrap Real Housewives of Miami Season 4 Finale Part Uno! The ladies brought the looks, the legs, the tans and Marysol brought the goddamn bedazzled tumbler filled with vodka. The reunions are always special but something unprecedented happened this finale. Julia, goat  and painted car owner, revealed her unsettling past and mysterious baby assassin story...

Send us Fan Mail This week Zach and Sloane unwrap 1996's nuclear bomb action-adventure film: Broken Arrow . This movie is out of bounds insane. The plot? Nonsense. The ending? We don't even know what happened. The music? Hans Zimmer's laziest work. All together these elements create a movie that is quintessential 90s viewing. It's a USA Network afternoon cozy movie and we'...

Send us Fan Mail This week Zach and Sloane are joined by stylist to the stars, fashion icon, sartorial genius and all-around lovely human, Gabriel Held, to discuss the season finale of Real Housewives of Miami ! Even if you don't watch RHOM you need to listen to this episode because Gabriel is literally an iconic fashion darling and he has STORIES hunny. STORIES. He literally FaceTimed Naomi...

Send us Fan Mail This week Zach and Sloane unwrap 2000's epic historical drama: Gladiator ! The duo discuss everything from incest (as always! but at least this time it's a theme in the movie!) to how hard Hans Zimmer goes every time he needs to score a film. The boy don't quit! He puts his whole Zimmussy into it! Sloane talks about her love of Joaquin "Wet Eyes" Phoenix a...

Send us Fan Mail This week Zach and Sloane unwrap Season 4, Episode 11 of Real Housewives of Miami ! The duo are fed up with Marysol's one trick pony performance as a low rent version of Mama Elsa. And if Sloane sees a bedazzled tumbler one more time she's going to throw her tv across the room. Nothing that exciting happens this episode (save for a  sapphic rain soaked dinner) because ne...

Send us Fan Mail This week Zach and Sloane unwrap season 4 episode 10 of The Real Housewives of Miami ! As always a charity gala goes awry when an angry Larsa shows up hours late and starts a fight with oil slick/ grease trap Adriana. Seriously we just need to wring her out and get a little bit of the sheen off her face and hair. Maybe Guerdy can throw a charity event for Adriana where everyone do...

Send us Fan Mail This week Zach and Sloane unwrap 1998's magazine editor ingenue / gruff older man action adventure film: Six Days Seven Nights . Even though it's unclear whether anyone else aside from Zach and Sloane and Sloane's sister have seen this film, the duo have a lot to discuss. That's because this film contains just about every 90's trope there is: plane crashes...

Send us Fan Mail This week Zach and Sloane unwrap Season 4, Episode 9 of Real Housewives of Miami. The ladies are somehow still in the Hamptons and there's a very dramatic health scare courtesy of Julia who doesn't know what a hangover is. The ladies rally and show up to Larsa's jewelry / "influencer" party. It was dark times. As usual Marysol comes for our girl Nicole and...

Send us Fan Mail This week Zach and Sloane are joined by Master Colin Craven himself, Heydon Prowse, to discuss his iconic work in the magical 90's orphan film: The Secret Garden.  Heydon tells us what it was like to go from unknown child to child star, his rivalry with Elijah Wood, perverted gay fan fic, and getting dissed by egg eating Dame Maggie Smith. He was also kind enough to make our...

Send us Fan Mail This week Zach and Sloane unwrap Season 4, episode 8 of The Real Housewives of Miami . Our girls are still in the Hamptons doing...something? Boxing? Shopping at boutiques? Eating Julia's eggs? There's not much happening this episode other than Marysol pretending to be the star of the show (try again, sweaty!) and Julia giving Audriana a...best friend ring? It was weird....