Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

This week we are excited to speak with Jackie Stone, director of the poly-themed web series, Compersion. Jackie shares with us her inspiration to tell the story of a monogamous couple opening up their marriage, and her commitment to bringing gritty realism to her storytelling. We also open up the discussion surrounding race, diversity, and representation of people of color within the media and wit...

This week the Multiamory crew is very excited to intereview sex educator and podcast host for The Nerdist, Sex Nerd Sandra! Sandra takes us through the complex world of consent within relationships and sexual encounters. We discuss the education about consent, the ways that men and women both respect and violate consent differently, and also about how delicious FRIES are. Join our amazing communit...

This week we welcome very special guest Billy Procida, host of The Manwhore Podcast: A Sex Positive Quest for Love. We dig into all kinds of topics in this one: sex positivity, sex party etiquette, being a single hetero man in the swinging scene, quick fixes for handling jealousy at a play party, and just a little bit about butt stuff. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercas...

At Multiamory, we generally discourage people from building their relationships on a basis of strict, primary-secondary hierarchy. However, primary-secondary relationships are still very common in the polyamorous community. All three of us have engaged in these kind of relationships at one point or another, for better or worse. In this episode, we talk about the experience of being a secondary par...

Coming out to partners, family, friends, or co-workers about being polyamorous is an important decision that could potentially change your life and your relationships, for better or worse. In this episode, we run you through the most important risks and benefits to consider before deciding to come out to someone important. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We off...

Only 1/3 of the Multiamory crew identifies as male, but social expectations of masculinity have had an influence on all of us. This week we're digging in to the fundamentals of masculinity. What does it mean to "be a man"? What are the classic hallmarks of masculinity, and how are those expectations both hurting and helping us? What's more, we discuss how traditional notions of masculinity sometim...

Have you ever felt alone on your poly journey? Do your friends or family immediately jump to blaming polyamory for any relationship problems you may have? We've definitely all encountered this and have wished for a better support network. On this episode we talk with two people who created their own Poly Processing Group that has been hugely transformational in the way it helps them and others (in...

This week, the Multiamory crew is pissed off. The current political climate has inspired us to vent about a number of topical things that get under our skin: toxic masculinity, sexual harassment, the alt right, and more. In particular, we examine how the polyamorous community is not immune to these things, as well as addressing what steps everyone can take to turn things around. Join our amazing c...

Most of us enjoy feeling special, particularly to our romantic partners. In traditional relationships, one's specialness is closely linked to exclusivity. You are the person I choose to be monogamous with, therefore you are #1 special person in my life! But when you have multiple partners, this thinking gets turned on its head. This week we discuss how to maintain a sense of specialness in each of...

For a long time there haven't been many public role models to demonstrate healthy, high-functioning polyamory, in contrast to the many demonstrations of monogamy we see every day on TV, movies, and other corners of the media. It's easy to make mistakes when first venturing down the path of non-monogamy. This week, we take you through five common mistakes made by people first opening up a closed re...

Sustainability means making decisions that address the needs of the present without compromising the needs of the future. The term is most often applied to environmental policy, but how does the concept of sustainability apply to relationships? Are poly relationships more sustainable than monogamous ones? Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale s...

Having a positive relationship with your metamours can dramatically improve the quality of your relationship landscape. In this episode we cover the who, what, where, when, why, and how of meeting your metamours and setting yourself up for the best possible outcomes. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get a...

If you are new to poly or just opening up your relationship, you may come to a realization that is exciting for some and terrifying for others: time to go on first dates! Going on first dates when you're poly presents a whole host of unique benefits and challenges. In this episode, we lay out all the pros and cons of poly dating, as well as our most Zen advice for making each first date enjoyable...

It's dangerous to go alone...take this! It's the Triforce of Communication! What is that, you ask? The Triforce of Communication, other than being a nerdy title, are the three primary goals of communication in any given conversation or interaction with a partner. Communication breakdowns often occur when you and your partner have mismatched goals. If your partner thinks you are seeking support or...

This week we are discussing the theory of attachment in adults. That may sound daunting, but it's actually quite simple. Your individual attachment style is how you react when a particular relationship experiences separation, threat, or pressure. Some people react by becoming clingy and impulsive, and others react by pushing the other person away. In this episode we discuss the four main categorie...

The Multiamory podcast just turned two years old! Welcome to the terrible twos, baby! On this episode, we give a recap of all the things we've accomplished in the past two years, much of it with the inspiration of our wonderful listeners and fans. We also talk about the personal turning points we've each had in the past year, and how that has changed our lives and our relationships. As an added bo...

Your love language is the way in which you express love and prefer to receive love from your partners. Each person has a unique combination of love languages, some stronger than others. You may not realize it, but you and your partner may be speaking different love languages, which can lead to confusion and frustration. If you can determine your love language, as well as that of your partner(s), i...

OmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmWelcome and namaste! This week we are talking about the spiritual side of alternative relationships. Polyamory has long been associated with the free love movement, which in turn has long been associated with the New Age spirituality of hippies. Though modern-day religions tend to condemn polyamorous relationships, there are a number of people in the poly community who clo...

Sexual orientation and gender identity are currently hot-button topics. The non-monogamous community attracts many people who are exploring alternative identities, but many of the challenges in dating, acceptance, and personal discovery remain the same. How do you operate with grace and confidence in a culture that isn't necessarily fair to everyone? Join our amazing community of listeners at mult...

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes! Change is an unavoidable part of life but that doesn't keep it from being scary sometimes. We have a lot of personal experience with big life changes like moving to new states or countries, deaths of family or friends, transitioning from monogamy to polyamory, and much more. In this episode we discuss some the things we've learned about dealing with change and how to make it a...

It isn't easy or fun to talk about abuse. Abusive relationships come in many different iterations, and non-monogamous relationships are not exempt from these kinds of unhealthy dynamics. It's difficult for poly folk to speak publicly about abuse, as social stigma discourages many people from sharing any negative or darker aspects of poly relationships. In this episode, we explore how poly relation...

Whew, that's a lotta P's! After many discussions inspired by our solo polyamory episode a few weeks ago, we decided to revisit the topics of hierarchy and priority. Some people insist that a primary/secondary hierarchy is the only that works for long-term polyamory. After all, if you want a house, kids, and any other number of long-term relationship milestones, most people choose to do that with a...

We're joined by Jessica Fern, author of the upcoming book Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and Consensual Non-monogamy. She is also a psychotherapist, public speaker, and relationship and trauma specialist, and this week she's talking with us about trauma and attachment theories, as well as strategies for gaining more secure attachments. Learn more about Jessica and her work at www.jessicafern.com,...

This week we're taking a look at EFT creator Sue Johnson's concept of "demon dialogues," or the choreography we tend to fall in to when fighting or arguing with a partner. We'll cover some common dialogues, as well as methods on how to break out of the choreographic cycle and communicate better. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so...

Have you gone to the repair SHOP? We've talked about how to disagree effectively and what to do during arguments, but what about afterwards, or with subjects that repeatedly come up in disagreements? Try the SHOP acronym: Stories, History, Ownership, and Prevention. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access...