Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

Today we're revisiting a topic we've covered before...supporting a partner through a breakup. We're going to focus on managing your own emotions and feelings during a loss you're not a part of, particularly if you have mixed feelings about the situation. We'll discuss the science of the matter, understanding your partner's grief, giving them practical support, and some actionable ways to take care...

We're excited to welcome Dr. Nicole Thompson onto the show to talk about her research on relationship anarchy! Dr. Nicole Thompson (she/her) is a queer Sex and Relationship Therapist, researcher, educator, and host of Modern Anarchy podcast. She is the founder of The Pleasure Practice, where she provides psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy and leads global educational programs on non-monogamy and s...

We're excited to share a discussion between Dedeker and Marie Thouin about compersion from a Buddhist perspective. Dr. Marie Thouin is a leading expert and scholar on compersion in consensual non-monogamy and beyond. She authored the first-ever scholarly book on compersion, two pioneering research studies, and the first-ever encyclopedia entry on compersion. Her work has been featured in several a...

Today we're tackling another listener question from one of our Supercast subscribers! How do you discern what's a "you" problem versus a problem you should bring up with a partner? We're going to talk about the research on self-disclosure as well as some frameworks and tools to help you tell the difference. If you want a question of yours answered on a future Q&A episode, consider becoming part of...

Today we're diving into the topic of long distance relationships! Are they worth having? What does the research say? We'll be discussing all of this and sharing some ways to evaluate whether or not a long distance relationship is best for you. We'll also be going into what makes them so hard, some specific non-monogamous pitfalls, and what makes them actually work better than some people expect. J...

Today we're excited to be joined by Dr. Paul Eastwick to talk about humor and the part it plays in attraction. Paul Eastwick is a Professor of Psychology at UC Davis and the author of the book "Bonded by Evolution" that offers an exciting new look at the science of attraction and compatibility. Along with Eli Finkel, he hosts the podcast Love Factually where they analyze rom-coms and romantic dram...

Have you ever tested a partner? Found yourself engineering a situation, dropping a hint, waiting for them to text first, all so you can see if they're as committed to you as you are to them? Uncertainty is hard in relationships, and if we don't feel safe enough to ask directly, we sometimes test our partners in ways that are sneaky, manipulative, and frankly, exhausting for everyone involved. This...

This week we're sharing another Q&A episode! We'll be discussing a listener question from one of our Supercast subscribers. Today we're chatting about how to know when you're polysaturated versus feeling restless in a way that signals you need something new. Want to have your question answered on a future Q&A episode? Visit www.multiamory.com/join to become a Supercast subscriber! Join our amazing...

We're back and refreshed after a week off, and for this week's episode, we're talking about getting back together with an ex. We'll be discussing some personal stories and reasons why we feel the urge to get back together with past partners. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes,...

Multiamory.com/surveyJoin our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Whatever you want to learn, MasterClass has something for you, taught by experts in their fields. Support the show and get an exclusive 15% offer at multiamory....

Have you ever felt the "Ick"? Maybe you were in the beginning stages of a relationship and still evaluating if you're attracted to someone, getting to know them, and maybe, just maybe, one day you feel the Ick. Or maybe this is common for you; you get turned off by someone early on in a relationship and it's starting to feel like your standards are too high or like you can't find anyone you're int...

Today we're going back to our roots and discussing communication again! We're diving into direct and indirect communication during this episode, and talking about high context versus low context communication, the cultural and neurological differences that various types of communication show up in, and more. Direct communication is often hailed as the "better" form of communication, but we'll expl...

This week we're answering a question from a listener in another Q&A episode. We're going to be diving into feeling like you're never a priority for your partner, and what to do when you're kept a secret from friends and family. If you'd like a question of yours answered on a future Q&A episode, visit multiamory.com/questions. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We...

Today we're covering a topic that causes a lot of friction in a lot of relationships: scheduling. Sometimes, coordinating time with people we love - whether it's family, partners, or friends - feels impossible. And it turns out, it actually is impossible to do perfectly. We're going to be delving into why scheduling feels so terrible, some of the research that reveals what happens when couples sha...

Today we're excited to be sharing an episode with Eli Finkel and Paul Eastwick of the Love Factually podcast! We're critiquing Vicky Cristina Barcelona's portrayal of non-monogamy and discussing the film as a whole. Eli Finkel is a professor at Northwestern University, with appointments in the psychology department and the Kellogg School of Management. He also serves as a founding co-director of t...

Today we're talking about milestones in relationships, and how to build commitment when you're actively trying not to stay on the relationship escalator. We'll be discussing traditional milestones, why they're valued, how relationship milestones with one partner can affect other partners, and some of the research around jealousy and envy in these situations. We will also dive into some non-escalat...

Today we're diving into a question from one of our listeners about partners who recently left monogamy and are still adjusting to stepping off of the relationship escalator. If you want one of your questions answered on a future Q&A episode, consider becoming a Supercast subscriber! Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyon...

This week we're featuring an episode from our friends Emma and Fin at Normalizing Non-Monogamy with guests Gary Ware and our own Jase Lindgren! Emma, Fin, Gary, and Jase talk about play during this interview, how important it is for our health and wellbeing, and how to frame play as resistance in times of geopolitical upheaval. Be sure to check out Normalizing Non-Monogamy's other episodes and tak...

Today we're tackling a concept that's on a lot of people's minds lately: burnout. Specifically, we'll be discussing dating burnout and fatigue, which seem to be rife on social media, dating apps, articles, what have you. We'll be diving into what the data says about the increase in dating apps, how it's creating fatigue across the dating community, and whether meeting online or organically is bett...

Today we're talking about time, both quality and quantity of it, and what to do if you and your partner end up clashing over it. We're going to discuss some research about shared time together as well as some of the different types of time you could be lacking in your relationship. Whether you're dating someone busy or you're the one who struggles finding time for a partner, we'll have actionable...

Today we're answering a question about toxic individuality, inspired by a post about not being able to share certain things with a partner. We'll touch on the idea of how much is too much information to share with partners about each other, managing compulsory non-monogamous baggage, and more. If you want a question answered on a future episode, consider joining our Supercast community at www.mult...

Today we're diving into one of our favorite things - data! We're excited to welcome Sy Dusk and Alexandra Kilpatrick from Feeld. Sy is a data analyst and Alexandra is the head of UX research at Feeld, and both of them helped analyze our co-sponsored research survey on non-monogamy (find the study here: http://multiamory.com/study). We'll be exploring what the data says about how non-monogamous fol...

Today we're excited to be joined by Brett Chamberlin and Dr. Amy Moors to discuss the recent results of the largest non-monogamy survey done to date. Brett Chamberlin (he/him) is the Founder & Executive Director of OPEN, a grassroots nonprofit advancing legal rights and cultural acceptance for non-monogamy. Under his leadership, OPEN has passed landmark non-discrimination protections in multiple c...

Today we're tackling a listener question from one of our Supercast supporters. We'll be discussing in depth how to help regulate yourself when your partner goes on dates, even if you have a solid self care plan in place. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions,...

This week, we're sharing a remastered version of an episode that aired back in 2023. This is the episode to share with parents, family, or other loved ones when you've come out as non-monogamous to them. For those who've had a loved one come out recently as non-monogamous, polyamorous, or relationship anarchist, this episode is for you! Maybe you’re feeling confused. Maybe you’re feeling scared fo...